The Wrecking Crew Page #4

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- I'm glad you're worried about me...

but I'm going to be sensible.

I'm using my head.

I'm not meeting Linka tonight.

You're picking her up.

Hello.

Hello, partner.

We have a golden opportunity, partner.

So why don't you meet me as soon

as possible at the House of 7 Joys.

Viking Street.

It's honest time now.

The House of 7 Joys?

That's Yu-Rang's pad.

We'll meet in the open.

Tivoli Gardens.

West Gate.

And one more thing, sweetheart.

I know where the gold is,

so that makes me the senior partner.

I believe he does know.

He may...

and he may not.

But I can't afford to speculate.

Permit me, Mr. Helm.

May I, Mr. Helm?

Thank you.

This way, please.

May I call you "partner"?

It was thoughtful of you

to call me, Mr. Helm...

with such an attractive proposal.

Don't knock it, honey.

The finder's fee is $50 million.

No questions, no strings.

His Excellency would have questions.

Who's he going to ask?

Other guys wearing stripes?

What's to prevent me taking

the whole bowl of rice? The billion?

Well, in the first place,

you don't have Contini's contacts...

and you're too little for that much loot.

And your share?

I'm an agent of ICE.

I don't get one yen.

You're doing this only for duty?

Well, you're a generous person.

I figure, later on, Christmas time,

you might send me a card or something.

Forgive me, Yu-Rang.

There's a call from your headquarters

in Bombay.

Excuse me. Oh, no.

Mr. Helm...

betraying Massimo Contini

is both dangerous and unprofitable.

You've caused me

a great deal of inconvenience.

Well, you have to admit

it's been a two-way street.

Were you tempted by his offer, my dear?

Of course not, Your Excellency.

That offer, Mr. Helm,

removed my last nagging doubt.

You don't know where the gold is...

otherwise you would not have attempted

to corrupt my loyal servant, Yu-Rang.

We know where it is.

And that offer was plain common sense.

We want to avoid publicity and also we want

to avoid killing a couple of dozen people.

No.

Now I can proceed precisely on schedule.

Well, you've forgotten something.

I'm here. You're here.

Yu-Rang and her friendly apes are here.

But where...

is MacDonald?

I would like to play poker

with you, Mr. Helm...

because you lie so unconvincingly.

Just in the nick of time.

I was terribly disappointed

that you couldn't keep our rendezvous.

But Mr. MacDonald proved to be very...

cooperative, shall we say?

That's Mac, all right. Anything to help.

But one thing, we gotta get going.

Well, if it isn't Miss Carlson.

My dear, you must be terribly

dedicated to your work...

to wear an atrocious wig like that.

How very common of you to mention it.

Your question, I believe,

was, "Where is Mr. MacDonald?"

You sure are something, Count.

But I gotta tell you,

I'm holding aces, back-to-back.

Your call, Mr. Helm.

Operation Rainbow.

Go on.

Lola Medina.

The wild gypsy with the wise old pappy,

and the noisy bottles.

She was your fun and games while

Operation Rainbow was being planned.

And you want to know something

about gypsies?

They love to drink and they love to talk.

I'm sorry you said that, Mr. Helm.

Because it brings our pleasant little chat

to an end.

Hold on, Mac.

The tracks have been cleared

to Luxembourg.

Proceed to Phase 8 immediately.

Be so good as to execute

Messieurs Helm and MacDonald.

And don't forget Miss Carlson.

Raise the inside cylinder.

Remove the glass wall.

And get ready.

How very unfortunate.

Get our pal to a hospital.

Never mind me. Just stop Contini.

That could have been you.

Never.

- Hurry it up.

- Yes, Your Excellency.

- Don't just stand there.

- Yes, Your Excellency.

The shipment will be en route

to Luxembourg at H-hour minus 10.

Intercept Matt Helm.

He's travelling towards the chateau,

south by southwest.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Turn around.

Turn left at the intersection.

I know a shortcut.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure. Turn left.

Must be the wig.

I beg your pardon?

Well, I mean you...

At the House of 7 Joys,

you didn't do one thing wrong.

Turn right, right here.

Somebody put a river here.

I'll see if it's too deep to cross.

It's fine.

It's too deep.

Too deep?

Look, I want to ask you a question.

Whose side are you on?

Well, I'm an agent.

And I also happen to be a good one.

And I'm also a woman.

It was the wig.

Get rid of it! Throw it!

Not at me!

Ching! To the river!

I want to talk to you.

I want to talk to you, too,

after the job's finished.

Mr. Helm, I'm afraid the car is broken.

- The car's broken?

- Yes.

My hat! My hat's okay.

Hey, come here.

- Your hat's not broken?

- No.

Your head's broken. Grab a hold.

That's right.

You through?

You are on their side.

I am not.

Up you go.

Mr. Helm, I think you should know

that I'm a bit of a coward about flying.

Good.

Mr. Helm! Look!

Contini's.

Band 05, come in.

Are you reading me, Matt?

Time's running out, Mr. MacDonald...

for the British pound,

the American dollar, the free world.

- I can send in a division of troops.

- No.

Until I contact Matt, we can't make a move.

Get on with it, Frankie. Move it nearer.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Matt Helm.

They will take care of Mr. Helm's

terminal liquidation. Come on.

If they happen to fail,

you will execute Plan 2.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Unfortunately, I can't stay to savour

Mr. Helm's final departure.

But Luxembourg, I shall expect you to dine.

He's landing behind the chateau.

Let's go!

From the window there!

Goodbye.

Our business must remain unfinished.

I'm sorry, Matt.

Oh, dear.

Just a minute.

I'm not through with you yet.

I could indulge myself

by killing you, Mr. Helm.

But I will leave that small chore

to your colleague, Miss Carlson.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?

Of course you hurt me.

- Okay, let's...

- No, come with me. I know a better way.

Are you sure it's not occupied?

Isn't this fun?

Well, isn't it?

Isn't this wonderful?

I just can't wait.

You can't wait?

You know, like you say,

to have our little talk.

Mr. Helm, there it is! There!

Isn't this exciting?

Are you comfortable, my dear?

Yes, very comfortable, thank you.

Mr. Helm!

I lost my hat.

Mr. Helm! I'm slipping!

I'm slipping!

Is my hair a mess?

What?

Is my hair a mess?

- You wanna know the truth?

- Yeah.

You're a mess!

- Mr. MacDonald...

- Hold it.

I'm getting through to him. Matt?

Matt, where the hell are you?

I'm in Contini's diesel.

And what's left of him is...

up the track about 30 miles

from his chateau.

Yeah, I got the gold.

And I got a couple of questions.

Where do I take it

and how do you stop this thing?

Don't stop.

We're rerouting you to Copenhagen

on automatic signals.

We'll take over from there. And, Matt...

don't let one damn thing go wrong.

Nothing will go wrong.

Do you think we can have our...

little talk now?

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