The Wrestler Page #2

Here's what I'm thinkin'.

Two words:
Re... match.

Okay, Ram.

You're all set.

We're doing this big Fanfest thing down in Wilmington

with Ring of Honor that weekend.

I wanna main event it with you two guys.

"Ram, Ayatollah II."

Hey. I heard Bob was doing really good

with his used car lot out in Arizona.

- I don't know if he's gonna- You know.

- Come on. For this?

Bob's gonna dust off the old turban.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Hey, bring it.

- Okay.

Hey.

- That's for Ram!

- Ram!

- Good stuff. Good stuff.

- Good stuff. Just like the old days.

Come on, guys.

Let's all go take a shower together.

What's up, Ram?

How you doing?

- What's up, Big Chris? What's shaking?

- I'm all right.

Yo, baby, you still got that hookup

with that quack at your gym? The juice head?

- What do you need?

- Yo, my back is killing me.

Vicodin, Perc, Nubain, whatever he's got.

- Come by the mansion in a couple of days, I'll hook you up.

- You the man, Ram. You the man.

Grab some. Yeah.

- Hey, Ruby. How you doing, baby?

- Hey, Ram. How's it goin'

- I'll take a cold one.

- All right.

There you go.

- Cassidy around?

- I think she's working the V.I.P.

Yeah, thank you.

I got a question, if you can answer this

I got a question

Trust me, baby.

You're gonna be so happy.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

We said the other girl.

Yeah, the blonde girl with the belly chain.

Yeah, the other girl.

- Well, yeah, but she's on break.

- I'm sorry, but we really don't want you.

- How old are you anyway?

- Oh, you're like my mom's age.

Hey. There's nothing like experience.

I do things your fiance's

never even dreamed of doing.

Yeah, like graduate in 1985!

Hey, hey. You girls are being

a little rude to the lady.

- How about an apology?

- Who the f*** are you, man?

Don't talk to the lady like that.

- I'll talk to her like I wanna talk to her.

- No, it's okay. Thanks.

- You don't need to be talking to her like that.

- It's cool. I got it.

- I got it. It's all right, guys.

- No. Let me tell you something.

I guarantee you,

this lady's a hundred times hotter...

than any skank-ass p*ssy

you're gonna be marrying.

- What the f***? That's my f***ing sister.

- What you say?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

- F***er.

- See you soon.

200 f***in' bucks walked out.

Hey, I'm just trying to help.

Oh, come on.

They were punks.

- You!

- Hey. Whoa. Easy there.

I'm sorry.

I'm better-looking than them anyway.

I didn't mean to piss you off.

Come on.

Yeah? Okay.

- It's good to see you, Ram.

- Good to see you. Goddamn.

I haven't seen you in a while.

How you been?

Now, I'm telling you,

it was one of the historic matches in history.

It was 20,000 people.

Another million and a half

sitting at home watching it on pay-per-view.

We're slamming the piss out of each other.

I mean, for God knows how long.

We're both gassing.

You ask any wrestling fan,

they've heard about that one.

- Million and a half. Sh*t.

- Oh, yeah, it was big.

And a rematch?

Hey. This could be history all over again.

Goddamn, look at you.

You are one smoking baby. Mmm.

Let me make an honest woman out of you.

Hmm?

I mean, who knows?

I'm in pretty good shape right now.

You know, with a little luck,

this could be my ticket back on top.

- You never know who's in that crowd.

- Yeah. Yeah.

That would be a dream.

Oh, Jesus. You're bleeding.

- Oh!

- Yeah, I got cut tonight.

Oh!

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, it's nothin'.

- They say wrestling's fake, huh?

- Fake? I'll show you fake.

Look at this.

1986, Denver Coliseum.

Billy Bob Banjo hit me with a two-by-four.

It had a loose nail in it,

split my bicep right the hell open.

- Mmm. Mmm.

- Look at that. I got a better one than that.

Take a look at this here.

1988, okay?

Orlando Civic Center.

Mr. Magnificent threw me over the top ropes.

I landed on my shoulder

and cracked my clavicle right in half.

Oh, my God.

Does it hurt?

Well, it hurts when I breathe, but, I mean,

you know, you hear the roar of the crowd...

you just- you motor through, you know?

"He was pierced for our transgressions.

"He was crushed for our iniquities.

"The punishment that brought us peace

was upon him...

and by his wounds we were healed. "

Hmm. What was that all about?

It's The Passion of the Christ.

You have the same hair.

- You never seen it?

- No.

Dude, you gotta!

It's- It's amazing.

- They throw everything at him- whips, arrows, rocks.

- Hmm.

They beat the living f*** out of him

the whole two hours, and...

- he just takes it.

- Hmm.

Tough dude.

Sacrificial Ram.

Next on the main stage will be Cassidy-

- Aw.

- with Harmony on the small stage.

Aw, f***.

- Gotta go.

- Where you going?

What do I owe ya?

- That's 60.

- Sixty.

- Keep the change.

- Thank you.

Goddamn.

...to the stage, the lovely Cassidy!

Don't throw it all away

Baby

I'm beggin' you, please

Don't walk away

Bottle of Anadrol, 250.

Bottle of E.Q., 75 bucks.

Two bottles of tren,

$75 each- a buck, 50.

Bottle of insulin, 100 bucks.

You got four boxes of Sustanon.

There's three amps in a box,

$30 on a box- a buck, 20.

A bottle of DBOL, 100 bucks. For your b*tch tits,

I got you a bottle of Arimidex, 200 bucks.

All together, 995.

I know you only got 400. Give me the 400.

- I know you're good for the rest.

- Got any G.H.?

Got Chinese and I got Serostim.

I don't want any of that Chinese stuff.

You're my boy, Ram.

- I'll hook you up, all right?

- Okay.

You gotta take the bacteriostatic water

with it too.

It makes the growth last longer.

Need anything else?

Painkillers? Vics? Percs?

- No, bro. I'm tapped.

- Demerol?

- OxyContins? You sure?

- No, this'll do me.

- Viagra? Maybe some blow?

- No.

- Got it all, man. Whatever you need, you know.

- Opened up a pharmacy, brother.

- You're my man. I gotta look out for you.

- Yeah, I'm square.

Just need the juice,

and you're all right, then, right?

- I'm just gonna get big and strong.

- Yes, you are, my friend.

- Okay.

- All right? Anytime, man.

- You're looking good, brother.

- I'm trying, baby. I'm trying.

- Show me what you got there.

- Ah, come on, man. Come on.

- Show me what you got.

- Just a little something. There's not much there, baby.

- Come on.

- Bring it up. Bring it up. Look at that motherf***er.

- Okay, right up there. See? What you're doing right there.

- Mm-hmm.

Don't- Don't leave the foils on too long,

because last time they broke off.

I think they got too fried.

Yeah. I got it.

So, how's the old man doing these days?

Yeah?

- Work, work, work.

- Work, work, work. Well, hey.

Hmm. At least he's got a job, right?

- Hey, Gloria. How you doin'

- Hey, babe. Five's open.

- Thanks again for the lift, bro.

- You got it.

Here you go.

Lay it on, brother. Lay it on.

- Like- Like-

- There you go.

You're supposed to fall to your knees.

- Ooh.

- All right. Good.

- Where's the bug spray in here? Huh?

- Lane six on the right side.

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