The Yellow Rolls-Royce

Good Lord.

Good afternoon, sir.

Rather a spiffy little bus,

don't you think so?

- You say bus?

- Car.

Fresh from the works this morning.

Got a revolutionary new engine,

you see.

There, with the very latest six cylinder

and a four-and-a-half inch bore...

...and a five-and-a-half inch stroke.

Yeah, I don't much care

for the shape of the decanter...

...and the telephone is badly placed.

I want it on the left and...

But the color scheme and the shape...

Very pleasing.

Deliver it this afternoon.

Surely, you'd like a spin in it first.

- I'd be happy to give you...

- Spin, what is a spin?

Oh, it's a drive, sir.

How kind, my dear fellow.

My London car's

down the street at my club...

...and if I arrive at the foreign office in a

strange motor, it might cause confusion.

Not that it's difficult

to cause confusion at the office...

Yes, but you haven't looked

at the very latest engine.

- But it is a Rolls-Royce, isn't it?

- It is, yes.

- Then presumably, it must go.

- Yes, but it's a very revolutionary engine.

This very latest six cylinder they have

is something quite new...

- Harnsworth, how nice to see you.

- And very good to see you too, my lord.

As always.

You're interested in our new Phantom?

Yes, I bought it.

I don't like that decanter, Harnsworth.

It's a deplorable shape.

It shall be changed.

And the back seat I'm afraid is, I'd say,

an inch too long for my wife.

- It's for Her Ladyship?

- Yes.

I forgot our anniversary this year.

Wasn't that dreadful? Last Monday.

- This is a little present to make up.

- Yeah, and very suitable.

We have Her Ladyship's

leg measurements filed with your own.

- And the telephone on the left.

- On the left.

Yes, I haven't forgotten, my lord.

All that shall be done.

It will take a week or so.

Oh, I'm afraid I must have it tonight.

At Cransden, rather a special reason.

I wonder if I've guessed it, my lord.

Last Monday you said?

That was June the 10th, wasn't it?

And that's why you've called your horse

June the 10th?

- It's going to win Gold Cup tomorrow...

- Don't say that. Where's some wood?

Here, my lord.

It must have a chance.

It must have a good chance.

But the French horse stays forever.

Yes. But your finishing speed.

That's what we're banking on.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Most interesting

about the four-and-a-half inch bore.

I must remember

to tell my wife all about it.

Taylor, what's been happening

in the lunch hour?

As Your Lordship will notice, there's

nothing of prime importance in the tray.

They're all matters that

will be dealt with satisfactory by me.

- Now that Your Lordship's read them.

- Thank you.

I wonder if Your Lordship would be kind

enough to sign these two letters?

Of course.

"We, The Right

Honorable Marquess Frinton...

...His Majesty's Principal

Undersecretary of State."

Are we "we," now? I thought

it was only the foreign secretary.

It is a right which I've always tried

to prescribe to this office...

...with precedents dating back at least

to William IV...

- You have, but his nibs won't like it.

- His nibs is in Lausanne.

Well, let's risk it.

I must say I rather enjoy being we.

So do I, my lord.

Good.

Well, I hope that's all.

I've got to get down to the country.

Oh, the Lausanne report.

Got to initial it

before it goes to the cabinet.

Mr. Fane will be dealing with that.

It has to be most secret.

Yes, of course. I'll ring for him.

All right, Taylor.

Thank you for making me plural.

- Oh, John, the Lausanne report.

- It hasn't come through yet.

It must have. It reached communication

this morning.

They got a new deciphering clerk...

...who's made a hash of things,

and it's gone back for checking.

Why must they use a new clerk

for a most secret king and cabinet only?

It's typical foreign office.

When is it due?

- Not for two hours, I'm afraid.

- Two hours?

You'll want to get down to Cransden.

You have a large party for Ascot?

Not particularly. About 20 this year.

You want to be there for dinner.

Why not let me bring it down?

It's extremely good of you,

my dear fellow.

I can't send a messenger, unhappily,

with the most secret.

- Sure it won't put you out?

- No, I'll take a train.

I tell you what. Bring your Ascot clothes

and stay for the racing tomorrow.

Friday too if you like.

Oh, Friday not, I'm afraid.

I have to catch the boat to Caracas.

You posted me there.

Had you forgotten?

Do you know I had?

Caracas, it's a lovely place.

You'll like that.

I'm glad I was able

to fix that up for you.

Not for me. It was my wife

who asked for the posting.

Ah, yes. Of course.

At that dinner, I remember.

Charming woman, your wife.

Must have remarkable gift of foresight.

I don't wish to be inquisitive,

my dear fellow, but I do notice things.

You have had more than your average

of long weekends lately, haven't you?

I don't think six months

in Caracas will hurt.

Ladies can wait.

Can they?

Oh, something more serious

this time, is it?

Oh, I know your reputation, John.

I don't think Caracas will hurt,

all things considered.

What?

What is this lunacy?

- Taylor.

- Sir?

You made an appointment with

the Albanian ambassador tomorrow?

He said it was most urgent, my lord.

And with the foreign secretary away...

But tomorrow. Gold Cup day?

Gold Cup day?

You don't know what that is?

You've remained a clerk for 47 years,

you don't know what Gold Cup day is?

Cancel this appointment.

His Excellency has assured me

that the matter can't wait.

Fighting has broken out on the frontier.

- And unless immediate action...

- Why don't you invite him to Cransden?

Good idea.

Tell His Excellency I want to give this

serious matter my undivided attention.

- A meeting in the calm of the country...

- Undisturbed by affairs of state.

Exactly,

conducive to tranquil deliberation...

...da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.

And tell him to bring his racing clothes.

Albanians must surely like racing.

They do have horses out there,

don't they?

To shoot at each other from, I think.

Well, then, do something, Taylor.

I must go.

You won't be down in time for dinner,

I suppose?

No, I'll have it on the train.

Very good of you to do this.

Very good of you indeed.

Not at all. It will be a pleasure.

John.

- Is the dressing bell gone, Norwood?

- A few minutes ago, my lord.

That ambassador arrived.

I put him in the Gladstone room.

Oh, have you?

The plug doesn't work there.

Well, Albania's not a very big country,

is it, my lord?

No.

He seemed in quite a stew

when he arrived.

He's got fighting on his frontier.

Oh, has he?

Darling?

I'm in here, darling.

- How many for dinner?

- Oh, just the guests.

I've kept the big night

for tomorrow's victory celebration.

Oh, please find me my slippers.

Be an angel.

Well, where's your maid got to?

Still at her rendezvous

with her boyfriend, I suppose.

She's never here.

Why don't you get rid of her?

For being in love?

Well, she shouldn't mix business

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