The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet Page #2

cowboy museum or rather, mausoleum

could be turned into

a normal living room

where normal people

could relax and have

normal conversation?

My father, Tecumseh Elijah Spivet,

was born 100 years too late.

He had the soul, stature,

and mindset of a cowboy.

For him talking was a necessary chore,

as shoeing a horse.

Cellphone reception was nowhere

to be found at coppertop ranch

and father refused

to install a telephone

in Gracie's room.

And you heard in the voice?

Her looks.

Yeah, its no wonder in history of Miss

America pagents Miss Montana never won.

Except, the worst selection ever!

every night in his setting room

father took off his boots

and muttering some cryptic statements

after raising glass of

whiskey upto his lips

precisely every 45 seconds.

a conversion from a cricket.

crickets and insects,

were my mother's specialty.

Dr Clair spent most of her adult life

studying tiny creatures

with the magnifying glass,

then classifying them into species...

and subspecies.

What if it doesn't exist?

I mean, for a year now,

you stopped everything

to prove that tigermonk

cicindele's exist

Stopped everything?

What do you mean, in a

maternal sense or a scientific one?

What is it that you want

me to start doing again?

Or else I stopped doing?

I don't know.

Your research on the parasitic

scolyte catepiller maybe?

Your findings could've saved

all the pine trees in Montana.

Every other scientific

attempt have failed.

Failed?

Form the ecologists

point of view, maybe.

But from the caterpillar's

point of view,

looks like a win win situation.

Anyway I never liked pine trees.

They're dripy and sticky.

Some things are just meant to die.

How my parents ever fell

for each other is a mystery.

They were like day and night.

The human head lice,

Pediculus humanus capitis

belong to the Anoplura family.

A. N. O. P. L. U. R. A.

T.S., When you drawing the legs,

make sure you observe not just how many

there are but the exact distance between them.

Yeah. The exact distance between them.

Beware of mediocrity,

its the fungus of the mind.

We must constantly fight against it

or creeping to everything we do.

Darn!

Those got away.

A lasso to catch him.

Thanks, Dad.

A fool, by definition is the one who

turns, what is beyond his middle grasp,

will do one big joke.

Then a few days later,

at the end of the hallway,

their hands brushed against each other,

as if they were secretly

exchanging a few seeds.

And then there was Layton,

my dizygotic twin.

That's when two sperm cells

fertilize two seperate eggs.

To each his own embryo

To each his own lucky star

Layton got the height

and I got the neurons.

Mom! Yeah!

Have you ever gotten AIDS?

What?!

Angela Ashworth says AIDS are

bad and you probably have them.

Well! next time, you

just tell Angela Ashworth

Just because she feels insecure

about being a little girl

in a society that puts an anointed amount of

pressure on moment to the baptism physical standard

it doesn't mean that

she had to take out her

misplaced self loathing

on a nicer boy like you.

You may be an inherent part of the problem,

but, certainly doesn't mean you have AIDS.

I'm not sure I can remember all that.

Well, just tell her... she's fat.

OK.

But Layton died last year doing an

accident with the gun in the old bar.

I don't know what went wrong.

I was there too. Measuring gun shots.

No one ever talked about it.

No one.

Not bad.

Except that we have to

go over this a little bit.

Daisy... B +.

Solid work.

Excellent illustrations of

the lake formation process.

T.S... C +.

Report shows undeniable qualities,

but as usual, is way off subject.

What does the formation of lakes

in Montana have anything to do

with the east-west migratory

pattern of Canadian Geese.

Sir, I'm not sure if you

read the introduction... But I

You think you're the smarter

than everyone else, don't you?

As for the diagram, its very pretty

but scientifically erroneous.

Really, Sir?

Bacause I sent it to

the Discover Magazine

and... they like it,

and they publish it.

Do not play games with me, T.S.

You're out of your league.

And what about the magnetic wheel?

Didn't mention anything about that.

I dont give a a rat's ass

about the magnetic wheel

Mr. Stenpock, how can a man like you,

supposed to open our minds

through scientific curiosity,

How can you be so

aggresively narrow minded?

Every scientists were like you

The will be no penicillin,

no relativity,

or sewer trains,

Know what it would be,

no chocolates or cookies!

Superiority complex, this

is what you have. T.S.

Your talents in scientific

observations would be put to better use

in picking your socks in the morning.

Lend me a hand for a second?

What's your need?

Settle out the creak. Its

drying among its pockets.

We'll get her spit up all

she has got before sunset.

Com'on.

To know that my father had to

resort to ask me help from me,

his only remaining son

The one who is used to saw in the ranch

filled me with sadness.

Layton should have been here, not me.

One day, he shot a coyote with

his Winchester from 200 yards.

Father was so impressed.

He took off his hat and

slapped it on my brother's head.

It was a special moment.

I knew it would never happen to me.

She is still runnin a bit last week.

There's no back for got some juice.

Like the... the crickets teasing me.

Couple of months earlier,

I had built a scale model depicting

the hydrology of our valley.

You could see the various water tables,

drainage trenchs, soil compositions

and sweepage capacity.

Dad! You wanna give it a look?

See... If you dig from here to there,

the water will be channeled to there.

thereby increasing the flow of water,

those thereby stagnating

and evaporating.

'Cause the laws of fluid mechanics,

make it unstoppable.

You asked me I was just pissing the can.

Open your eyes, you'll see that.

That ignorant goats.

Don't worry, I've got it.

Right.

So this used to be coyote chow.

It's okay, Stinky, Don't worry.

I am not gonna hurt you. Don't worry.

Maybe dying on a ranch from a snakebite,

is more befitting than a self inflicted

gunshot going to the head

by an old rifle in a cold barn.

Fixing on kissing that poison rope?

We still got our bussiness day,isn't it?

That was the first time my

father ever patted me on the back,

but I couldn't tell who was to

brush me off, to reprimand me

or a substitute for a hug.

I would go to Washington DC tomorrow.

I was a researcher, scientist,

and they needed me there.

If I stayed here,

I end up turning around in circles,

like these bats.

I only do the echo of myself.

What's for dinner tonight?

Puree Corn.

Hey T.S, can you take up my

dish washing duties tonight?

I will make it upto

you, I swear... Its...

Tonight, its Miss USA pagent, and I

really don't wanna miss the opening.

You already owe me 4.

Miss USA!

And these women are picked for

thier talents on what exactly?

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