Then She Found Me Page #3

Get your shoes on.

Why don't you come in first?

I mean, for obvious reasons.

That's OK. You go ahead.

Besides, we're having so much fun here.

- Are you sure?

- Of nothing.

I want my mommy!

- Pardon me.

- What!

We're all right. We're fine.

- You're fine? She's fine?

- Yeah, we're fine. Mm-hm, fine.

- Listen, I'm sorry about what I...

- Shh.

I'm sorry about what I said to you.

Listen, I'm four weeks divorced.

For all I know, I was coming on to you.

Were you coming on to me?

No, I wasn't.

Why I wasn't, I can't imagine.

Um, this is Jimmy Ray's portfolio.

- I think he's in trouble.

- You do?

- Sorry, what were you about to say?

- His printing is good.

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

K's made him nervous,

but he likes them now.

- He seems happiest...

- He has night terrors.

- Did you say night terrors?

- I think they're night terrors.

- He walks in his sleep.

- How often?

Once, ten months ago.

- What happened?

- He peed in the fridge.

Have you slept?

Oh, no. No.

I love his hands.

I do. I love how he uses them,

how expressive he is.

I love that, too.

He has a little less confidence

just right at the moment,

- but I think that's to be expected.

- Do you have kids?

No.

He talks about his mom a lot.

He seems to worship her.

From afar.

She's on a trip round the world.

She's a painter. She's painting the world

with her boyfriend.

Oh.

I see you outside in your car. Is that...

Yes. I work out there. I write.

In your car?

I like to keep an eye on the building.

It relaxes me.

Mm.

So why didn't you have kids?

I've watched you. You love them.

And you're...

Old?

No.

No, my God, no. You can't be

more than what, you're 35, 34?

I'm 39 and a half years old

and I've never been pregnant.

Well, if you put it like that.

- It looks pretty bleak, doesn't it?

- No. No, it looks painful.

And beautiful.

And I hope you get everything you want.

Um, dinner.

Apparently I want dinner.

- Well, bon apptit.

- Oh, would you like to get some dinner?

No, I'd rather eat frozen food alone

for the fifteenth month in a row.

Yes, I'd like to get dinner.

But I think

you are a very beautiful woman

and for some reason I decided not to go

on any kind of date for at least a year.

Why? Because I'm a f***ing idiot.

Thank you, you're gorgeous.

I'm leaving now.

Yes, I would like to get some dinner.

- Best friends? He said that?

- Mm-hm.

Is this man entirely intact?

You know, we were best friends.

I loved him.

Kept hoping one day, pop,

he'd be a grown-up.

So your wife was seeing someone else?

Pretty much everyone else.

I was too much for her.

- For your wife?

- Mm-hm.

I'm sure she didn't feel that way.

- She told me.

- What did she say?

"You're too much for me. "

Ohh! So was it just out of the blue?

It was out of the blue

because I was an idiot.

I came across the ocean

to be a blind idiot.

This woman may actually let her kids

grow up without knowing their mother.

I hope not.

How can you know

if someone's your mother?

I mean, literally, if someone says they're

your mother, how can you know for sure?

DNA test, I guess. Why?

I mean, you don't not look like

Steve McQueen.

- Is she a credible person?

- I have no idea.

My God, you have a chance

to get to know your mother.

Yes, I guess I do.

What do you write in here?

Books.

Jackets. Jackets for other people's books.

For now.

- Get a hair.

- I'm sorry?

For the DNA test. Get a hair.

Oh.

Thank you.

Well.

- I don't wanna say good night.

- I don't either.

Uh-oh.

You suppose my son would notice if I just

didn't pick him up from his play day?

I'm sure he'd understand.

OK, I need you to do something for me.

I need you to get in your car.

Which is your car?

Yeah, I need you to get in your car

and drive away, first. Because I can't.

Will you do that for me?

- Seriously?

- Yes.

You will go home, right?

I won't find you guys here in the morning

wearing the same thing?

- OK. Good night.

- Good night.

Maybe I should call you when you

get home, just so you can be sure.

I'd appreciate that. I worry.

Yeah, I do, too.

What are you making?

Well, it's peanut butter and jelly.

And I have to confess

that we don't share your countrymen's love

of peanut butter.

And jelly isn't jelly. That's another thing

I have to have a word with you about.

Well, if you were in England,

what would you be making?

This would probably be

cheese and pickle.

Did you say cheese and pickle?

You don't know what pickle is.

You give me a hard time

about peanut butter and jelly

and you say cheese and pickle?

I'm defending food to an Englishman.

Is that happening to me right now?

Our sex life was dominated

by her artwork, you know?

What do you mean?

Well, she liked to depict acts

of autoeroticism.

Oh.

I sometimes make toast and have tea

after I've brushed my teeth,

and I don't brush them again.

Do you ever do that?

No, no, no, I can't.

I'm, um, I'm British.

#...beautiful girl and I want you to know it #

I was never happier to get a call.

- Hello.

- Hello. Have you eaten yet?

- Um, actually, no.

- Oh, come with me!

Our show went well today,

despite our best efforts,

so, everyone's in a good mood, OK?

AJ?

- Welcome to the craziness.

- Hello.

- Lunch?

- Please. We're famished.

- Sam's?

- Perfect!

What do you feel like?

It's a kind of a pubby place.

Would a hamburger be all right?

- Oh, my God!

- What?

You're a little anaemic, aren't you?

Runs in the family.

Actually, I would just like a hamburger.

Oh. OK. Come on.

So, Janeane Garofolo, you've lived

in the West Village for a long time,

what's it like when the denizens of the

village come out and march about?

- In Gay Pride?

- Yes.

I have a particular favorite gay.

- You do?

- I do.

My favorite gay is the bantamweight

Latino in the gold lam short shorts.

Lace front short shorts.

- I'm partial to the flyweight Latino.

- Do you know his name?

I don't know. but he's great on the float.

...surf break up on the Statue of Liberty,

so that you could actually ride a wave

from the Statue of Liberty to Battery Park.

- That would be great.

- That would be great.

Instead of taking that ferry.

- Come on in.

- A hamburger is eighteen dollars!

My treat. Make it two.

- I'll have a Caesar salad.

- One sec.

I can't have you in this lunch.

Well, if you can't have me here,

you can't have me.

Thanks.

I practically live in this room

In fact, I call it my sanctuary.

- Do you have a sanctuary?

- My kitchen is nice.

Let me show you something.

Come here.

I want you to know me.

OK.

Much of this is my natural hair color.

OK, I'll start. Much of this

is my natural hair color.

Oh! Um...

I don't know what to...

I like music.

- What kind of music?

- I like Fleetwood Mac and um...

I'm very verbal during sex.

I'm afraid of drowning.

- During sex?

- No, just in general.

Um, I'm a tiny bit hard of hearing

in my right ear.

I'm a tiny bit hard of hearing

in my right ear.

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