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There Was a Crooked Man...
- R
- Year:
- 1970
- 126 min
- 354 Views
Once upon a time,
when rivers ran blue...
... and the air in the valley
was sweet and clean...
Lord, for what we are about to receive...
...make us properly grateful. Amen.
- Amen.
Nothing like fried chicken
while it's still hot and crispy.
The quicker you open that safe
and give us the money...
...the quicker you can get back
to that tasty-looking chicken.
Safe?
You're mistaken, son.
There's no safe in this house.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Wayne, you'd better do like he says.
A man works like a n*gger all his life
to get ahead.
and takes it from him.
It's just a few pennies I put aside
for a rainy day.
You got enough there for a flood,
Mr. Lomax.
Damn. Must be a million dollars.
Mrs. Lomax.
Saddlebag isn't gonna be big enough.
Well, Hobbs, get something bigger.
It just ain't the same when it gets cold.
Is this all right?
Those were my mother's.
Must have been
a fine figure of a woman.
Don't feel so bad, Mr. Lomax...
...you got rich once, you can do it again.
Think of it as a kind of a challenge.
That's all of it.
I do hate to eat and run like this.
What are you doing here?
Get out there and help.
You ain't gonna get your ass shot off
for no white man's money.
Come on, upsy-daisy, girls.
Come on, girls. Look lively.
Come on, now. Brighten up.
- Why, look who's here.
- Good evening, Goldie.
Oh, you poor man, you're all wet.
- And drunk.
- Well, come on in. You'll catch your death.
I got no business here, Goldie.
Being, as you know, cleaned out.
Oh, honey, we all heard about that.
It's just terrible, just terrible.
I thought if I could just sit down
for a while.
Oh, why, sure.
An old customer like you...
Friday nights just ain't been the same
without you.
All that money.
It's just hell.
Even my poor parrot.
He's gone clean out of his mind
since that night.
Oh, honey, you'll be back on your feet
before long.
Look, I tell you what.
How would you like to go upstairs
and have a look through the peephole?
But... But doesn't that cost
almost as much as...?
We'll put it on the house.
- Evening, Wayne.
- Evening, judge.
You're late. Just missed the fireworks.
By God.
By God!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
It's him!
It's him!
It's him!
By God, it's him!
Society has got to be protected
against the likes of you.
found guilty of armed robbery...
...you're hereby sentenced to 10 years
in the territorial prison.
- This time I caught you, you little bastard!
- This time?
You all through
messing around with my daughter.
I told her what I was gonna do.
By God, this time I'm gonna do it!
Daddy, thank God you came in.
But I just met her tonight. Tell him!
Bull.
It was the Good Friday of 1873.
I was asleep in my sinner's bed.
Not alone, I gotta admit.
And suddenly,
a bolt of lightning struck the air!
And a strange white light filled my room.
And I heard the voice
of our blessed Lord.
And he said:
"Cyrus."
And I said:
"That's me, Lord."
And he said,
"I want you to do my work."
And I fell to my knees and cried:
"What shall I do, Lord?"
And he said:
"From this minute on, you're gonna preach
the gospel of holding out a helping hand...
...to the less fortunate in our midst."
Good people of Deuteronomy...
...how many of you here today
count your blessings...
...because you or your loved ones
are not deprived...
...of two or more of your natural senses?
Dudley.
Dudley!
As you see, poor Dudley
cannot hear a word I say.
He must read my lips.
Dudley, go to the easel.
Folks, keep your eyes on this poor man
with the mind of a backward boy.
He cannot utter the simplest word.
He cannot hear the loudest sound.
Dudley there was born a mongolian idiot.
A common mule had more reason
for being in this world.
But the hand of Providence...
...guided this stray lamb
to the Calvary Mission...
...where his remarkable talents
began to blossom.
Thank you, ma'am.
Bless you, ma'am. Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Every little offering helps. Thank you.
I thank you, friends, I thank you.
Your unbounded generosity will be known
all the way to Racine, Wisconsin.
In gratitude for your kindness...
...the Calvary Mission
for the deaf and dumb...
...would like to present to you...
...Dudley's beautiful rendition
of Moses and the burning bush.
And I take great pleasure in handing over
this inspirational subject...
...on your behalf
to United States Marshal Johnson.
Jumping Jesus, my heinie!
My heinie's on fire!
My heinie's on fire!
- You sleep late.
- I work late.
That's why I'm here.
Make it easy on yourself.
If you stay in town, I'll have to arrest you.
There'll be a trial, you'll get six months.
I guarantee it.
On the other hand,
I'll give you two hours to get out.
Sheriff.
Maybe we could talk this over.
Now you've got one hour.
Herr Sheriff. Herr Sheriff. Robbed.
Robbed, I just got. In broad daylight.
- Who did it?
- Robber, who else?
He went into the saloon.
Floyd Moon.
Floyd, you're in a little trouble.
Don't make it worse.
Give me your gun.
Come on, Floyd. Hand over your gun.
Your gun, Floyd.
I want you to give it to me.
Sure, sheriff. Anything you say.
All right, out.
Get out of there!
All right, one, two, three,
four, five, six, follow me.
Welcome to the territorial prison,
gentlemen.
I shall assume
we all have one thing in common:
A burning desire to be elsewhere.
But we're not.
My name is Francis E. LeGoff.
I'm your warden.
None of you has been particularly adept
at living according to the rules...
...on the outside. You'll do better here.
- Yes?
- He's just got phlegm, Your Honor.
The rules then:
No singing, no whistling.Any man who can walk
works on the rock pile.
All prisoners are required
to attend the hangings.
Coy Cavendish.
Yes, sir?
The date for your hanging
has not yet been set.
In the meantime, obey the rules.
Yes, sir.
Which one is Paris Pitman?
Junior?
Junior.
They're ready for you, warden.
Right this way, gents.
Is everybody here?
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Over here!
That's it. Now, just follow me.
Looks like you boys
are gonna be cellmates.
Got a nice, big cell for you.
Only one feller in it.
What's he like?
- He's the Missouri Kid.
- The Missouri Kid?
One of the greatest train robbers
that ever lived.
- One of the greatest.
- There must've been a hell of a bounty.
One of the biggest.
How do you do there?
You can call me Kid.
All right, Kid. My name's Paris.
This one here's mine.
You're welcome to the rest.
Get out of that bed, Dudley.
Finders, keepers. You take the top one.
Now, you know I got a bad heart.
I'm not allowed to do any climbing.
Horse manure.
There's nothing wrong with you.
I said, I got a bad heart,
you son of a b*tch!
You fat-ass old bully.
Hey, Kid...
...you been here a long time?
- Always.
Hey, you must be that Chinaman.
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"There Was a Crooked Man..." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/there_was_a_crooked_man..._21722>.
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