They Drive by Night Page #7

- Just like two hands are better than one.

- Take it easy, fella.

Easy?

Yeah, that's a nice word. Maybe

you think it's easy being helpless...

...waiting for Pearl to dress me

and feed me...

...sitting around all day, wondering what

a guy with no right arm is good for.

Why'd you ever cut me

out of that wreck?

This way, she don't even get

no life insurance.

- It don't help to get excited.

- It's all well for you, you're in one piece.

You don't have to take nobody's charity

like I gotta take yours.

I guess he's been moping

around the house too much.

After we eat, we'll go out

and have some nightlife.

Maybe that'll cheer him up

a little, huh?

- I ain't danced in a long time.

- Me neither, and I used to love it.

It's the most fun you can have

without laughing.

Take a lot to get me laughing.

Say, what do you say

we get married?

I'd like that fine, but you've got enough

responsibilities right now...

...with the hospital bills

and Paul out of work.

Yeah, I wish I could

find him something.

Why don't you change your mind

and ask Ed?

I'd like to, but I can't.

Paul ain't able to do a hard day's work

at the garage yet.

Ed's been too swell as it is.

- Guess we gotta just keep on hoping.

- Joe, do me a favor, will you?

Take me dancing again tomorrow night

when we both feel better.

Okay.

Oh, I can't. I gotta go

to the boss's house to a party.

Don't say "oh" like you think

I'm walking out on you.

- I don't wanna go.

- I didn't say you did.

Let's sit down.

If we stay here, we'll be fighting.

I'm sorry, kid.

I guess I got the jitters tonight.

- Where's Irish?

- He's wandering around all over.

Yeah, he's doing a little hunting.

Looks like

he bagged something special.

Hello, folks.

This is...

- Say, what's your name?

- Miss Sue Carter.

- Sue Carter.

- Any friend of his is a friend of mine.

- What's your name?

- What's the difference?

Sit down and have a drink.

Drinking makes you beautiful.

- I haven't been drinking.

- I know, but I have.

Leave it to Irish to find romance.

Don't she look like a million bucks?

And just as hard to get.

- Wanna come up for a while?

- I don't think so, not tonight.

- I'll make you some coffee.

- I don't want any. It keeps me awake.

Still worried about Paul?

Yeah.

Are you too worried to kiss me?

Not that bad.

- What's the matter, you stop loving me?

- No, darling, but I still have to breathe.

Cassie, you're the only girl in this world

I've ever been crazy about.

You're the only fella in the world who

could make me believe a lie like that.

Come on.

Come up and have some coffee.

No, no coffee.

Yes, sir!

That's what I always tell my drivers.

No phone pole ever hit a truck

unless it was in self-defense.

I think the guy that wired this

must have baled hay.

There.

Now, get a load...

Wait a minute, now.

Ed.

We have servants to open the wine.

What's the fun of having champagne

if you can't pop the cork yourself?

Here now, Irish, that ain't beer,

so don't start guzzling it.

And you and your truck driver friends

stop drinking so much.

This is the only eighth anniversary

we're ever gonna have.

Come on, we gotta celebrate.

- Evening, Mrs. Carlsen.

- You're late.

- Oh, I got stuck at the office.

- I'm sorry...

...I forgot to tell you we were dressing.

- Well, I'm not up in that bracket yet.

- Hello, Joe!

- Hello, Ed.

- A glass of champagne?

- No, thanks.

- You know Joe never takes a drink.

- I know.

He's like me. I don't either,

unless I got a glass in each hand.

Don't have any bad habits,

do you, Joe?

None that I can't handle,

Mrs. Carlsen.

Joe, how do you like the dump?

- I think it's swell.

- You wanna know something?

Lana decorated it

all by her itty-bitty self.

Early American bargain-basement.

You ain't saw it.

You ain't seen it too, Irish.

- Come on, I'll...

- Ed.

Don't you think

Joe ought to meet guests?

What's the use?

He'll only forget their names.

- Culpepper, I sure thirsty.

- Yes, sir.

Charles, bring Mr. Carlsen

some water, will you?

Yes, ma'am.

I said thirsty, didn't I?

Not dirty.

If you fall on your face,

don't expect me to drag you to bed.

Don't worry about me.

If I fall, I'll fall upstairs.

Come on, Joe.

See, Joe,

we had all the screens removed...

...because they were fixed

so the flies can't get out at all.

- Hey, this leaves me speechless.

- Good. Stay that way.

Well, there you are.

Swimming puddle and everything.

Hot, cold running water.

Guess I'll have to learn how to swim.

- Well, right this way.

- You sure got a nice layout here, Ed.

Someday you'll have one just like it,

and a swell wife like Lana to go with it.

- Yeah, that would be nice.

- Yes, sir...

And here we have a badminton court.

Great game. A couple of guys

chase a feather with fly swatters...

...and the one that don't drop dead

wins the game!

Come here.

And, Joe, there's something else

I sure want you to get a gander at.

Around a place like this, there's always a

lot of confusion about bushes and trees.

Avocados, male and female.

- How can you tell?

- Oh, that's easy.

The bashful one's the girl.

And now for the topper.

You know how you drive up, and you've

got to get out and open the doors?

That ain't for me. Get a load of this.

- Say, I'm speechless.

- That's where we came in.

Now you see, all you've got to do

is drive or walk between the posts...

...break the ray, and the doors start

swinging. Want to see me close them?

Say, what will they think

of inventing next?

I understand some guy's

working on a sundial.

Oh, Irish, don't talk silly.

Who'd want to dial the sun?

- Good night, Ed. I had a swell time.

- You're going so soon?

I've got to be at the office at 6:30.

Good night, everybody.

- Good night.

- See you in the morning.

- Good night, Joe.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- I certainly am.

- Joe, you're not going.

- Yes, I told you I had to leave early.

Well, I'll walk out with you.

I need some air.

It's chilly. Don't you think

you'd better go in?

No, it feels good.

- I had a nice time, Mrs. Carlsen.

- Do you have to call me Mrs. Carlsen?

You know, I have a first name.

When I call you Mrs. Carlsen,

that keeps me in my place.

Wouldn't be trying to get over

it also keeps me in my place?

- That ain't what I said.

- I can read between the lines.

- Joe, what is it? What's wrong?

- Nothing wrong that I know of.

Then why do you keep acting like this?

Why do you keep pretending

you don't even notice me?

Now look, who do you

think you're fooling?

I'm not fooling anybody,

and that includes you and me both.

Listen, Joe, please.

If I told you once, I told you 50 times,

I'm doing good at the office...

...and I'm not playing around

with the boss's wife.

Ed's been always all right with me,

and I'm never gonna be wrong with him.

How touching.

The faithful employee.

The devoted friend.

That's me.

Good night, Mrs. Carlsen.

Mrs. Carlsen.

Mrs.

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