They Made Me a Criminal Page #7

I'LL GO IN THERE

AND BANG THE EARS OFF THE

BIGGEST GUY IN THE WORLD.

Tommy:
COME ON.

KEEP ON HITTING HIM.

Dippy:
HIT HIM

WITH A RIGHT, BOY.

RIGHT. RIGHT,

LEFT, RIGHT.

RIGHT! RIGHT!

OH, CUT IT OUT!

FLATTEN THAT GUY!

COME ON! KNOCK

HIS BRAIN OUT!

BEAT HIM UP!

OH, WHAT A FIGHTER!

YOU COULDN'T LAS A HALF A ROUND

WITH FOOTWORK:

LIKE THAT.

YOU COULDN'T STOP

A TRUCK MOVING THAT SLOW.

GO ON!

MOVE FAST! JUMP!

EH, WHAT DO YOU

KNOW ABOUT IT?

PLENTY, YOU BIG, FAT,

CLUMSY LUMMOX.

SO HOW'S YOUR WIND?

MY WIND?

OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL FIND OU ABOUT THAT LATER.

GO ON NOW. HIT IT.

DON'T MAKE LOVE TO IT.

HIT IT, I TELL YOU.

HIT IT! THAT'S IT.

WORKING HARD?

YEAH. I KIND OF

LIKE IT.

WILL YOU BLOW, PEG?

I WISH YOU WOMEN WOULD

STOP AGGRAVATING THE CHAMP

WHILE HE'S WORKING OUT.

MIND YOUR OWN:

BUSINESS, WILL YOU?

THAT IS MY BUSINESS,

TRAINING THE CHAMP.

YOUR:

BUSINESS?

SINCE WHEN ARE YOU TRAINING HIM?

COME ON, JACK.

ABOUT 3 MORE MINUTES,

AND WE'LL BREAK.

BY A WATERFALL:

I'M CALLING

YOU-OO-OO-OO

BY A WATERFALL:

HEY, HURRY UP WITH THA WATER, WILL YOU, YOU GUYS?

TAKE IT EASY, CARUSO.

YOU'LL LAST LONGER.

HOW'S THE WATER, CHAMP?

BRR. HOW DID YOU

GET IT SO HOT?

BY A WATERFALL,

I'M CALLING YOU-OO-OO-OO

HEY, FELLAS! GET A

LOAD OF THIS, WILL YOU?

WHAT DO:

YOU GOT, T?

I JUST WON 3 BUCKS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU JUST WON 3 BUCKS?

THE AMATEUR PICTURE CONTES IN THE "SALT LAKE TIMES."

HERE'S THE 3 BUCKS

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

WELL, COME ON. SHOW US THE PICTURE.

WHERE IS IT?

YEAH, SURE.

COME ON. GET IT OUT THERE.

LOOK. RIGHT THERE.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? IT'S JACK!

JACKIE.

HEY, JACKIE, LOOK.

THERE'S YOUR PICTURE

IN THE PAPER.

WHEN DID YOU:

TAKE THAT?

ONCE WHEN YOU:

WASN'T LOOKING.

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO

LAY OFF OF THAT STUFF.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU

ABOUT TAKING MY PICTURE?

OH, WHAT HARM

DID I DO?

I OUGHT TO FLATTEN

YOU FOR THIS,

YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING,

LITTLE CHISELER.

AW, LAY OFF ME,

WILL YOU?

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING.

I MADE 3 BUCKS, DIDN'T I?

EH, SHUT UP.

BUT LOOK AT THE WAY HE'S

GOT HIS RIGHT HAND STUCK OUT.

SO A GUY GETS UP

OUT OF HIS GRAVE,

STICKS OUT HIS RIGHT HAND

JUST SO YOU CAN MAKE THE PINCH

AND PROVE THAT ALL THE RES OF US AROUND HERE ARE DOPES.

I TELL YOU, I GOT A HUNCH

THAT'S JOHNNIE BRADFIELD.

IT'LL TAKE ME MAYBE

A MONTH TO FIND OUT,

BUT IT'S

WORTH TRYING.

SWELL. TAKE TWO MONTHS. TAKE TWO YEARS.

WRITE US:

PICTURE POSTCARDS.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA.

GO ON. LAUGH.

WELL, YOU'D LAUGH, TOO, PHELAN,

IF YOU KNEW HOW FUNNY YOU WERE.

MAYBE I WOULD.

MAYBE I'LL

LAUGH LATER.

"THESE GLOVES USED BY KID McNEIL

"WHEN HE KNOCKED OU SAILOR O'SHEA.

A BUY AT 8 BUCKS."

I'LL BET THAT'S

LUCKY LEATHER.

YEAH. WE COULD GET THEM FOR JACK

IF WE HAD:

$7.60 MORE.

HA! IF MY AUNT HAD

WHISKERS, SHE'D BE MY UNCLE.

HA HA HA!

HEY, LOOK OVER THERE,

WILL YOU?

Dippy:

LAMP THAT JALOPY.

Spit:
LAMP WHAT'S

IN THAT JALOPY.

WAIT A MINUTE. I GOT AN IDEA. COME ON.

Spit:
LET'S GO.

CHECK IT OUT.

ISN'T HE CUTE?

HEY,

WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S ALIVE.

HEY, BUD, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

J. DOUGLAS WILLIAMSON.

J. DOUGLAS WILLIAMSON.

WHOO WHOO!

AND WHAT'S

YOUR NAME?

J. MONTMORENCI SPIT JR.

WHAT BOOK YOU GE THAT OUT OF, KID?

TELL ME SOMETHING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE JUST STOPPED TO HAVE A FLAT FIXED.

WE SHALL BE OFF AS SOON AS DAD AND MATER

RETURN FROM THE TELEGRAPH OFFICE.

OH, IT AIN' GONNA STAY.

HE'S BREAKING

MY HEART.

HEY,

WHAT'S A MATER?

A MATER. THAT'S HIS OLD LADY, YOU DOPE.

DON'T YOU

READ ANY BOOKS?

NOPE.

YOU THINK YOU'RE

SMART, DON'T YOU?

THEY CALL US:

THE 6 GENIUSES.

HEY, WHAT KIND

OF CAMERA IS THAT?

IT'S A MOTION-PICTURE

CAMERA.

LET ME SEE THAT.

I'LL GIVE IT BACK.

YEAH, YEAH. I KNOW JUS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

WELL, IT'S A CINCH.

LOOK. WE GOT TO GET IT HONESTLY,

SEE, OR JACK WOULDN'T LIKE IT.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

HEY, ANGEL.

COME ON, WILL YOU?

LET HIM SEE IT.

Dippy:
ALL RIGHT. KEEP YOU

HANDS OFF THAT GOOD CAMERA.

HEY, DOUGIE. HOW DO

YOU LIKE THIS ONE, DOUG?

COME ON, GANG.

WE GOT TO GET GOING.

HEY, YOU WAN TO COME ALONG, KID?

WHERE TO?

OH, WE'RE JUS GONNA PLAY.

MARBLES?

THAT'S

A SISSY GAME.

WE'RE GONNA

PLAY POKER.

YOU KNOW HOW:

TO PLAY POKER?

NO.

OH. WE COULD TEACH YOU

HOW. IT'S VERY EASY.

WE AIN'T GOT NO TIME

TO LEARN BEGINNERS.

Dippy:
EH, HE'S

TOO YOUNG, ANYWAY.

BUT I'M 12,

AND I COULD LEARN.

WELL, WHAT DO

YOU SAY, GANG?

SHOULD WE:

LET HIM IN?

Dippy:
SURE. WHY NOT?

COME ON,

DOUGLAS.

STEP RIGHT OUT.

THAT'S THE WAY.

I'VE ONLY GO 25 CENTS.

OH, THAT'S OK, KID.

YOU DON'T NEED NO DOUGH

TO PLAY STRIP POKER.

WHAT'S

STRIP POKER?

YOU'LL FIND OUT.

GIVE ME SOME CARDS, WOULD YOU?

GIVE US A COUPLE

OF GOOD ONES.

Douglas:
I GO 6, 7, 8, 9, AND 10.

ISN'T THAT ANY GOOD?

NOPE.

NOPE.

KEEP THE 10, SEE?

WE'LL TRY TO DRAW

SOMETHING BETTER.

HEY, DIPPY.

4 CARDS

FOR DOUGLAS JR.

Tommy:
GIVE ME 3.

Douglas:
IS THAT ANY GOOD?

WELL, IT'S BETWEEN

YOU AND ANGEL NOW.

WHAT DO YOU:

GOT, ANGEL?

I GOT A PAIR OF 7s.

OH, BUT MINE ARE

ALL THE SAME SUIT.

YEAH, YEAH, THEY ARE, BE THERE AIN'T A PAIR IN THE BUNCH.

ANGEL'S PAIR OF 7s WINS.

OH, I SEE NOW.

YOU GO TO HAVE PAIRS.

SURE. YOU'LL

CATCH ON TO THIS.

YEP. DOUGLAS JR., NOW YOU CAN

TAKE OFF THE COAT AND BELT.

OH, YOU MEAN,

I LOSE, THEN?

YOU DON'T WIN.

WELL, MAYBE YOU'LL

WIN IT BACK NEXT HAND.

JUST PUT I OVER THERE.

Dippy:
DON' GET IT WRINKLED.

YOU GET TO COME BACK ON

ANOTHER LITTLE HAND LATER.

HEY, COME ON.

HURRY UP. WE'RE TRYING

TO LEARN YOU SOMETHING.

COME ON. HURRY UP

WITH THEM CARDS.

Douglas:
I GO A PAIR THIS TIME.

CERTAINLY HAVE.

HOLD ON NOW.

WE'RE STAYING PAT.

Angel:

PAT? I'M OUT.

I'M TAKING 3.

I GOT THEM.

WELL, WHAT DO

YOU GOT, TOMMY?

OH, JUST A MEASLY

PAIR OF TWOS.

I WIN, DON'T I?

NO. HE'S GOT TWOS.

YOU ONLY GOT ONES.

KEEP YOUR MITTS:

OFF IT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DOUGLAS.

YOU'RE LEARNING ALREADY.

NOW, THAT DIDN'T TAKE

LONG, DID IT, DARLING?

DOUGLAS!

WHY, WHA HAS HAPPENED?

DID YOU GET BY:

ALL RIGHT?

HUH? YEAH.

DOCTOR SAID:

I WAS 100% OK.

I HIT THE SCALE:

AT 153.

LET ME TELL YOU:

SOMETHING.

IF I GE IN THAT RING FIRST,

YOU'LL NEVER GE A WHACK AT THAT GUY.

WISH I FEL THAT WAY ABOUT IT.

IT'S FUNNY WHAT US GUYS

WILL DO FOR MONEY, ISN'T IT?

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU:

FIGHTING FOR?

MY WIFE IS GONNA

HAVE A KID.

YEAH?

TOUGH RACKET,

AIN'T IT?

WELL, GOOD LUCK.

THANKS.

GOT ANY GOOD SEATS LEF FOR TOMORROW NIGHT?

YEAH. I HAVE

A FEW LEFT.

WHERE ARE THEY?

HOW NEAR DO YOU:

WANT THOSE?

CLOSE AS I CAN GET.

WELL, HOW ABOU A RINGSIDE?

FINE.

SAY, THIS GUY

JACK DORNEY,

IS HE A SOUTHPAW?

YOU CAN SEARCH:

ME, MISTER.

THAT'LL BE

$3.30, PLEASE.

OK.

THANK YOU.

HEY, YOU THINK WE NEED SOME MORE CREEP?

NO, WE DON'T NEED

NO MORE CREPE.

YOU ASK ME,

YOU'RE A DEAD PIGEON.

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE.

HEY, HE PASSED!

HE PASSED!

HE PASSED:

THE MEDICAL EXAM.

HE PASSED:

WITH FLYING COLORS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

CY KIMBALL:

JUST TOLD ME.

HE JUST DROVE BY

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