Thicker Than Water

Are you going to eat your pie?

- Or can I...

- You've had two pieces of pie.

Incidentally, when are you going

to pay me for your board and room?

I gave it to him.

- Why?

- He said he was boss, now.

He did?

Don't get sore.

I was only kidding.

From now on, you only pay me.

Well...

We've got to be running along.

Come on Stanley.

- Bye, honey.

- Bye.

- Where do you think you're going?

- We're going to the ball game.

You're going to the ball game.

We businessmen have

to relax some time, don't we?

We certainly do.

If you want to relax, you can

stay home and wash these dishes.

- What do you mean "wash the dishes"?

- Yeah, what will his friends think?

You keep out of this.

You stay home.

Come on, the dishes.

- I'll be seeing you.

- No you don't!

If I have to stay and wash

the dishes, he's going to dry them.

I don't care who does what.

But you won't leave me

here washing the dishes alone.

After we get through,

can we go to the ball game?

You can do what you like.

Thank you, honey.

Mrs. Hardy.

Get me the dish pan.

Over there.

Get me the soap powder.

Don't forget to rinse them off.

Get out of the way.

Pull out that board.

Don't keep handing them to me.

When you get it dry,

put it in a nice dry place.

Now we're getting someplace.

You open the cupboard.

I'll put that away.

See who that is.

- Is Mr. Hardy home?

- Yes, but he's not in.

What's the matter with you.

Too lazy to answer the door?

- Good afternoon, Mr. Finlayson.

- Good afternoon.

- What's the idea?

- I'm collecting the furniture payment.

It was paid yesterday.

Steady, woman.

Not to me, it wasn't.

- Oliver!

- Yes, baby, I'm coming.

Oliver, there must be some mistake.

Did I or did I not give you

the money to pay on the furniture?

- You certainly did.

- Then why wasn't it paid?

I gave it to him to pay it for me.

- What did you do with it?

- I gave it back to him.

You gave it to me?

Yeah, I gave it to you

to pay my room and board.

Then you gave it to her.

"Recommember"?

You mean the money that he gave

to you that you gave to him

that he gave to me, was the same

money I gave to him to pay him?

If that was the money you gave him

to give me to pay to him

it must've been the money that I gave

him to give to you to pay my rent.

- Mr. Finlayson, I owe you an apology.

- And 37 dollars.

Then this money must belong to you.

Next time, I want my

payment without any detour.

He gave it to him and he gave it

to you and who give it to what.

You're all nuts!

You big dumb-bell.

I can't trust you to do a thing.

And as for you.

I've a good mind to throw you out.

- You can't do it.

- I can't do it!

No, because I paid my room

and board in advance.

And I gave it to him.

What do you mean

"you gave it to me"?

That was the money

that she gave to me

and I gave it to you to give to him

then you gave it back

to me and I had to give it to her

to give to him.

Was the the money that she gave

to him that I gave to you

- to give to...

- Certainly.

Well if she wants to give it

to him that's her business.

- No use you and I arguing about it.

- Cut it out!

What humiliation.

Creditors hounding me

at my very fire-side.

- You know what?

- What?

I've got an idea.

Let's hear it.

How much money have you

and your wife got in the bank?

Well, if it's any of your business,

we have a joint account

of 300 dollars. Why?

Why don't you draw the money out

of the bank

pay off the furniture

and own it outright?

You wouldn't have

any interest to pay.

And you wouldn't have any hounds

in your fireplace.

- That's a good idea.

- I'm glad you like it.

- Honey?

- What is it?

- Stanley's got a great idea.

- What now.

He said we should draw

our money out of the bank

- and pay the furniture off.

- We'll do nothing of the kind.

That money stays right where it is.

Listen, tumbleweed, from now on,

you mind your own business.

"Draw the money out of the bank",

the very idea!

I've come to the conclusion

you haven't an ounce of brain.

- You let her talk to you like that?

- Certainly not.

I don't blame you.

She talks

to you like water off a duck's back.

If she was my wife, I'd draw out

of the bank and buy some furniture.

Stanley, you're absolutely right.

I'll learn her.

Come on.

- You know where the bank is?

- Certainly.

300 dollars.

- That's a lot of money.

- It sure is.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this beautifuI antique is

worth 25 hundred dollars.

You're asking me to give it away

for 150 dollars?

155, thank you sir,

you won't regret it.

155 for the beautifuI antique clock.

At last we get something for nothing.

- 160.

- 160 dollars. Do I hear any more?

160 dollars

for this beautifuI antique clock.

Gentlemen, step right up.

We're giving things away today.

There's plenty

of seats right in front here.

200 dollars.

Don't let this stop at 200 dollars.

- 200 dollars once...

- 205.

- 205, 205!

- 210.

- 210!

- 225 dollars.

- 225 dollars!

- 230.

230 dollars once...!

- Just a minute.

- Take your time.

Please, will you do me favor?

My heart is set on having that clock.

But I've left my money at home.

Will you keep the bidding open untiI

I go home and get my money?

Don't let anyone have it.

I'll pay you well for your trouble.

Being a true southerner,

chivalry is my middle name

to say nothing about hospitality.

230 dollars!

Do I hear any more?

- 230 dollar going once...!

- 235.

Thank you.

I'll be back in a minute.

235 once, 235 going twice!

Third and last call!

- 240 dollars.

- 240 dollars!

Do I hear any more?

240 dollars.

- 245.

- 245 dollars!

- 250.

- 250 dollars!

- 255.

- 255!

- 260.

- 260!

- 265.

- 265!

- 270.

- 270!

270... What are you bidding

against me for?

You're bidding against me.

- 275!

- 280.

- 280!

- 285.

- 285!

- 290.

290! 290!

Sold to the jolly gentleman

for 290 dollars.

Thank you.

Folks,

that concludes the sale for today.

You!

Come pay your money

and take you clock out of here.

Pardon me just a moment.

I beg your pardon sir,

but you don't understand.

I wasn't bidding for myself.

I was bidding for a lady

and she went home

to get her money.

Yeah? Well, you did the bidding

and you'll do the paying.

- Boss.

- Yes.

- What is it?

- He bought a clock and won't pay.

Is that so?

We've got a reaI...

I'll handle this.

I've had trouble

with these birds before.

You pay this money that you

bid or I'll call the cops!

You take that clock and get out

of here!

"You gave it to him and he gave it

to me and I"...

Get out!

Get out!

- Good morning.

- Good morning, Mrs. Hardy.

I wonder if you'll do me a favor. I

have a joint account with my husband

and I'd like to fix it that nobody

can draw the money out but me.

I'd be glad to do it for you

- but you husband was here just now.

- Very nice, thank you.

What?

Did he take the money?

Yes, ma'am.

All of it.

He closed the account.

- Ollie.

- What?

Let's put it down a minute.

- Mr. Finlayson.

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