Thirty Day Princess Page #6

Well, maybe they have no proof.

- Can you get the proof?

- Why should we get the proof?

- It isn't our affair.

- But it is my affair.

I shall get the proof.

But where?

- You might try in her room.

- Don't desert me. Assist me.

If he finds anything,

Gresham will pay plenty.

(CLATTERING)

- Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

- What's that?

When I flip off that chair,

I catch myself onto this.

Not that. That.

Nancy Lane's press book!

- Count, you're some sleuth.

- Sleuth? What means a sleuth?

Let's get out of here.

- What more do you want?

- I'll take a pineapple sundae, please.

You get it.

Now listen, Count, you couldn't want

any better proof than this.

That's right.

Don't forget the nuts.

Now that we've got it,

what are we going to do with it?

Will you sign a paper saying

that she isn't the real Princess?

- Certainly, but it doesn't do any good.

- Why?

They laugh.

Whenever I say something serious,

people laugh. I don't know why.

Thank you.

But, where is the cherry?

I'll get it, Count.

I'll get it.

To serve a sundae without a cherry

is simply stupidity itself.

Yeah, sure.

Imagine having to eat a sundae

with straws. Such service.

What we need is somebody

they won't laugh at.

You can get somebody

they won't laugh at.

Not in my family.

But, yes, of course.

I want Taronia. One-one-one.

What? $64.25?

Come in.

Well, I guess you're glad

to be back from the tour.

Yes. Playing the Princess isn't all

I thought it was going to be.

I'm glad the show's over tonight.

But I've got a big scene

saved for the end.

- Yes, I know. The farewell reception.

- That's only the setting.

- See this?

- What is it?

The payoff for Porter Madison.

This, my dear, is the badge

of the Imperial Potentate of the Sons

and Daughters of the African Star.

I had the Harlem lodges

comb for it.

What are you going to do

with it?

I'm going to have you pin it

on Mr. Madison III tonight,

for his devoted services

to Your Royal Highness.

- Is that part of our deal?

- Part of it? It's the climax.

And will I have the laugh on him.

Her Highness would like to see

Your Highness.

Who? Oh, yes, of course.

I'd love to see her.

Come in.

But you do, you really do.

I'm so glad you're fully recovered,

Your Highness.

Sit down, Miss Lane.

- Or may I call you Nancy?

- I hope you will, Your Highness.

Then you must call me Zizzi.

Formality under the circumstances

would be slightly ridiculous,

is it not?

I hear that all of America

has fallen in love with you.

Since I see you, I can understand it.

Or do I compliment myself?

- I think you're terribly good-looking.

- Aren't you boasting, perhaps?

Do you like being Princess?

Of course.

But, I'm glad it's almost over.

Naturally. You are lucky.

For me it is never over.

- You have seen Nicholaus?

- Oh, yes.

- Can you imagine?

- Terrible. Just too terrible.

It is for the good of the country.

And, oh, my dear,

there is such a nice young man.

If only you could see him.

Tall, dark, with burning black eyes,

a mouth like a pomegranate

and strong white teeth.

Just the contrary from Nicholaus.

- Have you really got to marry him?

- I suppose so.

What a lucky girl you are.

You marry anyone you like.

- What's the matter?

- I can't. I can't any more than you can.

Why not?

Tell me about it, dear.

Well, you see...

We fell in love,

but he thinks that I'm you.

Oh, you poor child.

- One night in his apartment...

- I went to his apartment?

- Yes. I'm terribly sorry, Your Highness.

- But I'm delighted.

I've always wanted to go to

a man's apartment. Now I've been.

- Tell me, was he in pajamas?

- Yes, Your Highness.

In a red dressing gown

with silk collar and cuffs?

- No, it was blue.

- That's close enough.

But this is marvelous.

- Tell me, is he tall?

- Very.

I'm going to weep.

Has he strong white teeth?

They look strong.

And his mouth is firm

and red like a pomegranate?

- Well, yes.

- He kisses well, of course?

Well, doesn't he? Don't tell me

he was such a fool as not to?

Marvelously.

Oh, you lucky girl.

And I. Nicholaus.

But you're crying.

As if it isn't bad enough

to lose him,

now I've got to pin a false decoration

on him and make a fool of him.

He'll never forgive me now.

- Why should you? Whose idea is that?

- Mr. Gresham's.

He has a personal grudge against him

and wants to have the laugh on him.

Oh, he does?

He wants you to decorate him

with a false order in my name?

Stop crying. Listen to me. Tonight,

a few minutes before the ceremony...

(BAND PLAYING MUSIC)

Her Royal Highness,

Catterina Theodora Margherita.

The Crown Princess of Taronia.

Your Royal Highness,

I am pleased to announce

that the bond issue

has been over-subscribed.

And now, before we bid farewell

to our American friends,

we desire to show our gratitude

to two great Americans.

Mr. Porter Madison III

and Mr. Richard M. Gresham,

by honoring them with the highest orders

it is in our power to bestow.

The King must have arranged

that on the quiet.

This is going to be even richer

than I planned.

- Mr. Gresham.

- Your Royal Highness.

For your great financial

services to Taronia,

I take pleasure

in bestowing upon you

the order of Carlos Magnus

of the Third Class.

Will you come forward?

No, no, the other one. Not that one.

The little one. That one's for him.

Yes, it is beautiful, isn't it?

- And very becoming, too.

- What's the big idea?

You have earned it.

Mr. Madison, will you step forward?

For your devoted service to our person,

as the representative of Taronia,

we take great pleasure

in bestowing upon you

the Gold Cross of Taronia,

First Class.

Just a minute, ladies and gentlemen.

Just a minute.

Better keep him here

until I call you.

What is the meaning of this, Nicholaus?

Why are you interrupting?

Who are you to call me Nicholaus?

What do you mean

by crashing in here like this?

I mean that she is none other

than Nancy Lane, the missing girl,

and I can prove it. Spotty!

Open the curtains.

Where is my daughter?

- Who are you? Where is my daughter?

- Who am I? But, Tony...

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Zizzi.

Nicholaus.

You bring me 4,000 miles with crazy talk

about kidnappings and ransoms.

My daughter never liked you.

Now I do not like you, either.

You cannot marry her.

Get out. You, you...

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Papa.

So you're the guy that told me

she was Nancy Lane.

That's right.

In the name of Anatol the Fearless,

I decorate you.

Maybe I'm going mad,

but who are you?

Kirk was right.

- About him I do not know, but...

- But I do know I've been made a fool of.

Is it to be made a fool of

to find oneself in love?

- Yeah, with a cheap little fraud.

- A nice girl.

- She lied to me.

- For me.

She loves you, Mr. Madison.

If I were you, I would be, oh, so happy.

Happy?

Yes, happy. Because things have

come out like they have come out.

Because, you see, I am going back

to Taronia tomorrow,

and even if I loved you

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