This Is Our Time Page #11

worthwhiIe in the worId,

1014

00:
52:16,925 -- 00:52:18,381

and then this happens.

1015

00:
52:18,468 -- 00:52:20,504

l mean, how cruel is that?

1016

00:
52:20,595 -- 00:52:23,177

I mean, what is the

Iesson in aII this?

1017

00:
52:23,265 -- 00:52:25,005

Stay shaIIow,

stay seIf-absorbed,

1018

00:
52:25,142 -- 00:52:26,552

stay safe,

and you'll be fine?

1019

00:
52:26,643 -- 00:52:28,554

But no, try to do something

good in the world

1020

00:
52:28,645 -- 00:52:30,055

and you'II get cut down?

1021

00:
52:30,147 -- 00:52:33,310

l mean, what kind

of God does this?

1022

00:
52:33,400 -- 00:52:34,810

(Ryder)

l don't know.

1023

00:
52:34,901 -- 00:52:37,187

I guess you have to go

by what you know of God.

1024

00:
52:37,320 -- 00:52:39,402

Yeah, which is a Iot

Iess than I thought I did

1025

00:
52:39,531 -- 00:52:40,896

a few weeks ago.

1026

00:
52:41,032 -- 00:52:42,397

Why? Do you think

his character's changed?

1027

00:
52:42,534 -- 00:52:44,525

You think he doesn't

have any power anymore?

1028

00:
52:44,619 -- 00:52:47,201

You think we didn't

hear his caII right?

1029

00:
52:47,330 -- 00:52:49,241

If we had stayed here

and done some other work,

1030

00:
52:49,332 -- 00:52:51,038

and if I hadn't dragged

her across the worId--

1031

00:
52:51,126 -- 00:52:52,536

Hey, you didn't

drag her, okay?

1032

00:
52:52,627 -- 00:52:54,538

If you weren't in the picture

she wouId've gone anyway.

1033

00:
52:54,629 -- 00:52:56,711

But I wouId've have caIIed

to herfrom across the street.

1034

00:
52:56,840 -- 00:52:58,922

(Catherine)

Okay, then we wouldn't

have called her on the phone.

1035

00:
52:59,050 -- 00:53:00,711

(Ryder)

Right, right, and if

l hadn't gotten fired

1036

00:
53:00,844 -- 00:53:02,254

l wouldn't have needed

to call her.

1037

00:
53:02,345 -- 00:53:04,051

How far back do you

wanna take the blame?

1038

00:
53:04,139 -- 00:53:06,425

There's aIways one IittIe thing,

but the fact is God took her.

1039

00:
53:06,558 -- 00:53:08,844

And l'm not ready to think

that it was for no reason.

1040

00:
53:08,935 -- 00:53:10,425

l'm not ready to

concede to some victory

1041

00:
53:10,562 -- 00:53:12,723

to some random act

of violence, either.

1042

00:
53:12,856 -- 00:53:14,437

I have to find

some meaning in this.

1043

00:
53:14,566 -- 00:53:17,603

There is no meaning.

There's no meaning in it, Ryder.

1044

00:
53:17,736 -- 00:53:21,399

If any one of us deserved

to be here, it was her.

1045

00:
53:21,489 -- 00:53:24,105

I shouId've been

in that street.

1046

00:
53:24,242 -- 00:53:26,904

She'd stiII be here.

1047

00:
53:30,624 -- 00:53:32,740

You two happy?

1048

00:
53:41,051 -- 00:53:44,760

(Ethan narrating)

This is how grief goes.

1049

00:
53:44,888 -- 00:53:50,258

First you try to keep everything

as normal as you can;

1050

00:
53:50,352 -- 00:53:52,593

you pretend it didn't happen,

1051

00:
53:52,687 -- 00:53:57,727

or you pretend thatyou

can go on as if it didn't.

1052

00:
53:57,817 -- 00:54:02,436

Maybe you get angry

at the world, at its injustice,

1053

00:
54:02,530 -- 00:54:05,613

at anything

or anybody, really.

1054

00:
54:05,700 -- 00:54:08,442

And then you're just sad.

1055

00:
54:08,536 -- 00:54:13,496

Your joy is gone,

your smile fades,

1056

00:
54:13,583 -- 00:54:16,666

you see that

person everywhere,

1057

00:
54:16,795 -- 00:54:20,083

and nothing looks

the same anymore.

1058

00:
54:20,173 -- 00:54:23,336

All the things

you believed in are shaken,

1059

00:
54:23,468 -- 00:54:26,335

your whole foundation.

1060

00:
54:26,471 -- 00:54:31,340

Things that were certain,

now come into question.

1061

00:
54:31,476 -- 00:54:34,263

And then one day

you finally tell yourself,

1062

00:
54:34,354 -- 00:54:37,972

"So that happened

and God let it.

1063

00:
54:38,108 -- 00:54:42,317

"And if he did, then what does

he want me to do about it?

1064

00:
54:42,445 -- 00:54:45,482

How am l supposed

to respond?"

1065

00:
54:45,615 -- 00:54:47,822

I'm out,

you need anything?

1066

00:
54:47,909 -- 00:54:49,740

No, thanks.

1067

00:
54:50,370 -- 00:54:52,782

What are you working on?

1068

00:
54:52,872 -- 00:54:54,988

Resignation Ietter.

1069

00:
54:55,083 -- 00:54:57,825

Um, are you sure

you wanna do that?

1070

00:
54:57,919 -- 00:55:00,205

I don't think that's

what AI wouId want.

1071

00:
55:00,338 -- 00:55:06,299

WeII, AI wanted to go to India

and we see howthat turned out.

1072

00:
55:08,847 -- 00:55:10,838

What's this?

1073

00:
55:10,974 -- 00:55:13,590

It's a package

from Rose and AniI.

1074

00:
55:13,727 -- 00:55:16,514

WeII, aren't

you gonna open it?

1075

00:
55:16,604 -- 00:55:20,062

You open it.

I'm done with India.

1076

00:
55:22,319 -- 00:55:23,775

Okay.

1077

00:
55:24,321 -- 00:55:26,312

Later.

1078

00:
55:38,668 -- 00:55:40,078

Here you go, professor.

1079

00:
55:40,170 -- 00:55:42,377

Thank you, Ethan.

1080

00:
55:45,467 -- 00:55:47,003

Can I interrupt?

1081

00:
55:47,093 -- 00:55:50,005

Anytime.

1082

00:
55:50,096 -- 00:55:52,052

Thanks.

1083

00:
55:59,481 -- 00:56:02,473

How are you hoIding up?

1084

00:
56:05,320 -- 00:56:09,108

Everybody's strong

for Luke, you know?.

1085

00:
56:09,240 -- 00:56:11,777

Afew months ago

everything made sense,

1086

00:
56:11,910 -- 00:56:13,650

everybody was ready

to take on the worId,

1087

00:
56:13,787 -- 00:56:16,745

''This is ourtime,''

and aII that.

1088

00:
56:16,831 -- 00:56:21,416

WeII, it isn't

''yourtime'' reaIIy, is it?

1089

00:
56:21,544 -- 00:56:23,580

It's aII God's time.

1090

00:
56:23,671 -- 00:56:25,377

It's a IittIe hard

to see it that way

1091

00:
56:25,465 -- 00:56:28,207

when you Iook at what's

happened, you know?.

1092

00:
56:28,301 -- 00:56:31,134

AI was a speciaI girI.

1093

00:
56:31,262 -- 00:56:36,928

It was unfair

what happened.

1094

00:
56:37,060 -- 00:56:38,721

Yeah.

1095

00:
56:38,812 -- 00:56:43,397

But it doesn't mean God

isn't stiII in controI.

1096

00:
56:43,483 -- 00:56:44,973

Thatjust

doesn't make sense.

1097

00:
56:45,068 -- 00:56:47,480

No, it doesn't.

1098

00:
56:47,570 -- 00:56:49,276

You Iook at aII

the saints in the BibIe,

1099

00:
56:49,364 -- 00:56:51,821

in their own times things

didn't make sense at aII,

1100

00:
56:51,908 -- 00:56:53,398

even though some

of them were foIIowing

1101

00:
56:53,493 -- 00:56:58,112

the audibIe voice of God.

1102

00:
56:58,206 -- 00:56:59,912

Yeah.

1103

00:
56:59,999 -- 00:57:04,083

Out of aII of us, AI's

caIIing was the cIearest.

1104

00:
57:04,170 -- 00:57:08,630

She knew what God wanted

herto do and she was doing it.

1105

00:
57:08,758 -- 00:57:12,501

But that's the

probIem with caIIing.

1106

00:
57:12,637 -- 00:57:18,348

Too often we think of it as

something we are meant to do,

1107

00:
57:18,476 -- 00:57:22,685

when reaIIy it's something

we're meant to be.

1108

00:
57:22,814 -- 00:57:28,184

God may have seemingIy random

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