This Is Your Death

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1

Welcome back.

We are broadcasting live

from Seattle

to give you the moment

you've been waiting for

all summer long.

Two contestants remain,

but only one will be.

Married to a Millionaire.

Well, it was just a couple

of months ago

that I asked your ten suitors

one question.

How far would you go

for the one you love?

Who do you want to spend

the rest of your life with?

Brandi or Jessica?

Jessica, we're just not made

for each other.

I've decided to go with Brandi!

Brandi!

It's Brandi!

I am the happiest man alive.

And I'm the luckiest girl.

We'll take you down

to the church,

where both of your families

are waiting for you.

Come on.

No, no, no, no!

You slut!

What'd you do?

Suck his small dick?

No, hey!

- Move!

- I'm not gonna do that!

Put the gun down.

Put it down!

Oh, my God!

Somebody get over here!

...not sure

what happened there.

We will, of course, let you

know as soon as we find out.

Alex Jones here, reporting on the tragic

shooting death live on television.

- Tragic news. BC's Married

- to a Millionaire.

- Two are reported dead...

- ...gunned down in front...

...Adam Rogers dove on top

to shield, an act of heroism...

...host Adam Rogers displayed

unbelievable bravery...

I'm remorseful, she was sick.

Yeah, can you say it like

you mean it, please?

I'm sorry.

I'm remorseful, she was sick.

- Nobody knew it.

- Good. You're a hero.

- All right.

- You'll be fine.

Please welcome Adam Rogers.

Take your

hands out of your pockets!

How does it feel to be

a national hero?

Oh, uh... no,

I...

I'm no hero, I was just...

I was just doing what anybody would

have done under those circumstances.

Well, most people

would have ducked.

Now, what was going

through your mind

when you first heard

the gunshots?

Honestly?

Yes, honestly.

We're all about honesty

on Morning Show USA.

Honestly, I was thinking about...

my job,

and what a giant mess this

was gonna cause our network.

Here I was, lying next to a man

that had just been murdered

and all I could think

about was myself.

It was not your fault.

Actually, it was my fault.

And... it was your fault,

and it was our network's fault,

and it was the millions of people

who tune in each week's fault.

...bring us to top five

Tuesdays through Fridays.

I know you want to see

the numbers for your ads, so--

There's a problem.

Excuse me for a moment.

Rogers is going rogue.

Director wants permission

to pull the plug.

We're sitting here

celebrating me...

trying to cover the fact that we

pitted two women against each other

like a couple of f***ing dogs.

Uh, right.

What happened on my show,

that was not an accident.

That was...

that was inevitable.

Okay, my little man.

Shh, quiet!

There it is, a desperate rage

festering in this country

and we're too afraid

to show it to you.

Instead we numb ourselves

with our stupid f***ing

morning shows

and soap operas

and reality shows.

- It's disgusting.

- Holy crap.

Isn't that your brother?

I'm going to have to stop

you now, ok? That was--

I was told to come out here and

say that Jessica was sick...

Yes. - And that it was just

a game, but I can't do that.

Jessica was not sick.

She was a beautiful human being

under an incredible amount

of pressure and personal debt

and we played with her heart

for our own financial gain.

Okay, Adam, you know what?

That was great--

- Let it play out.

- I have to stop you now, okay?

And I'm glad that

people saw that.

That is the most reality

reality TV has ever shown

and I hope that we

show more of it.

Well, I guess you're

in the minority there.

- We should show more of that.

- Okay, are we-- are we still live?

All right, we'll be right

back after these messages

with America's cutest puppies.

Thank you.

- What the f***, man?

- I'm sorry.

- What he f*** are you doing?

- It was nice to meet you.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I am so f***ing fired.

Good.

You're too good for that job.

You should go back to school.

I'll help you study.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

You got me back on my feet,

I'll get you back on your feet.

Yeah, I don't think so.

What the hell did I do?

What did I do?

You know what you did?

You told the truth, Adam.

I haven't seen that guy

in a long time.

I am proud of you.

Mom and dad would have

been proud of you, too.

Yeah, I bet mom and dad

would have been real proud.

A TV hack and a

recovering pill-head.

It's Nurse Pill-Head

to you.

- I'm going back to the hospital.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay, it's okay.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hey.

- How're you doing?

- I'm good.

Good.

Let me grab your...

What? No.

No, no, no.

- Adam, that's not what I'm here for.

- We had a deal.

You pay off your debt

and I pay your expenses.

- Hold on.

- No. Nope, not cool.

Hey, a deal's a deal. Come

here, come here, come here.

Take it.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- I love you.

I love you, too, honey.

You're okay.

Say it again.

You're okay, Adam Rogers.

All right.

Hey, this is Adam.

Leave a message please.

Ilana Katzenberg here.

Nice rant this morning.

Be at the network office

tomorrow, 9am sharp--

It seems like we're working the

same hours, Miss Katzenberg.

Yeah, except I start

at 8:
30 again.

Shoot.

Yeah, me too.

What's your name again?

Um, Mason.

Mason Washington, ma'am.

- Two jobs.

- Yeah.

And looking for a third.

You aren't hiring an appliance

salesman by any chance, are you?

No.

I was number one in the

South Bay, 15 years over.

"House to fill?

Just call Bill at--."

You worked at Angel

City Appliance!

- You know it?

- I bought my fridge and stove there.

I was there for three decades.

Then online shopping came along,

and then the recession,

and now it seems that

nobody wants to hire

a 55-year-old

with insufferable charm.

I don't know why.

Uh, I should get back to work.

Do you watch television, Mason?

Me?

Oh, uh... no,

not much, honestly.

How about Married

to a Millionaire?

No, ma'am.

But my son did show me the

video on Morning USA.

Oh, so you know what happened?

- Yeah.

- So what do you think?

You can't fire me, can you?

Probably.

But I won't.

I think he was

speaking the truth.

You don't see too much

of that lately.

I agree.

Jerry.

Jerry, please.

Look. Look.

I know we talked about this,

but I'm four hours away

from being full-time.

I can do the hours

anywhere you want.

West end, downtown, Valley,

Orange County, I don't care.

You know how badly my family

needs the health benefits.

I'm sorry, but I've got

no more hours to give.

All right?

We're stretched thin.

We can't be stretched that thin.

All right.

G'night.

Sh*t.

How about this Adam Rogers?

What a story, I tell you--

Daddy!

'Morning, angel.

Did you get

a good night's sleep?

Did you eat your breakfast?

Did you brush your teeth?

Oooh...

Uh-uh, you fibber!

Hey, go brush your teeth. Daddy

will drive you to school.

Hey, watch yourself,

you little twerp.

Derrick called me a twerp!

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