Three Kings Page #22

VIG:

Sh*t. Sorry.

His gunshot blows a hole in the Iraqi truck -- which deflates

like a huge beach ball, circling wildly until it lies in a

heap of collapsed camouflage canvass while 50 yards away --

55 SHIITES flip sand-colored blankets off and stand up in the

desert to look. Doc lifts the limp canvass of the deflated

truck.

ARCHIE GATES:

They used a lot of decoys to throw

off our bombers.

DOC:

Where are we gonna get a vehicle?

IMAM:

I know a place that's full of

deserters. Maybe they got

something.

HIGH WIDE SHOT:
They walk in a single file line in the

desert. Archie in front, carries a Vuitton bag.

EXT. DESERTER'S BUNKER - DAY

Archie now walks among Shiites toting old rifles. There are

bomb craters, destroyed cars, a few mud dwellings nearby.

SHIITE:

America!

SHIITE #2

America! Friend!

SHIITE:

Freedom! Thank you to America!

Shiites cheer and pat Archie, Doc and Vig on the back as they

walk to a bunker built into the side of a small hill. TWO

IRAQI SOLDIERS come out smiling to embrace a disoriented

Archie and Doc.

INT. IRAQI BUNKER - DAY

They pass through a cluttered room with six cots, down a

hallway, to a larger room where two more YOUNG IRAQI SOLDIERS

sit watching CNN. There is a defaced poster of Saddam, two

peacocks and three monkeys in the room, and the half-eaten

carcass of a zebra. The soldiers rise and half-bow to Archie.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Food? You give food?

ARCHIE GATES:

We don't have any food.

DOC:

Where'd you get these animals from?

IMAM:

(translates)

Kishan tramai jahal?

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Kuwait Zoo. Nabal hazala fan taq.

IMAM:

This is for you, my friend, to eat

if you are hungry.

The Iraqi Soldier offers a live monkey to Archie.

ARCHIE GATES:

No, thank you.

IMAM:

They're not barbarians, they're

starving.

DOC:

I'm getting really dizzy, man.

Vig sticks out a WHITE TONGUE and nods.

ARCHIE GATES:

We need water.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Water all gone. No one have water.

ARCHIE GATES:

Radio?

FRIENDLY IRAQI:

No radio.

ARCHIE GATES:

No radio, no water, but yes CNN.

The other Iraqis nod their heads and laugh nervously.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

George Bush get rid Saddam.

ARCHIE GATES:

Not exactly.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Congratulation!

He embraces Archie, who looks at Imam.

ARCHIE GATES:

Would you explain to these

gentlemen that we need a vehicle

of some kind?

INT. BUNKER GARAGE - DAY

It is dark. With a click, several bare ceiling lights come

on. Archie, Doc, Vig, stare in amazement: It's an underground

garage filled with nine luxury cars: A ROLLS ROYCE, a JAGUAR,

a MERCEDES, an INFINITI CONVERTIBLE, FOUR CADILLACS, a WHITE

STRETCH LIMOUSINE. The friendly Iraqi smiles.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

From Kuwait.

Doc stops at the convertible.

DOC:

Could I ask a question?

The Iraqi deserters look at him.

DOC:

Does Lexus make this model?

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

No. Infiniti convertible only.

FRIENDLY IRAQI 2

No Lexus convertible.

DOC:

Exactly what I said.

ARCHIE GATES:

Listen. We use these cars to go

fight Saddam soldiers.

The Friendly Iraqi looks at Doc and laughs.

DOC:

What's so funny?

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Cannot take.

DOC:

What do you mean, cannot take? We

kicked Saddam's ass. We definitely

take.

ARCHIE GATES:

We are the United States military.

The Iraqi laughs.

IMAM:

You're three guys with a bunch of

Shiites and no Humvee.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

Need money. Have no money. To eat.

To live. Kish falan azar yat imal

tanat.

IMAM:

He says the Americans have many

tanks, many airplanes. We have

nothing.

The Iraqis do not look happy. Imam does simultaneous

translation as Archie holds forth.

ARCHIE GATES:

We will rise up together.

IMAM:

Jihala vamat.

ARCHIE GATES:

Rise up together.

Doc and Vig look taken aback as Archie goes messianic.

ARCHIE GATES:

Look at us. Working together. Many

races, many nations. Tell him, Doc.

DOC:

We are united.

They raise their joined hands together.

ARCHIE GATES:

United. George Bush wants YOU --

DOC:

To stand up for yourself.

FRIENDLY IRAQI SOLDIER

George Bush.

ARCHIE GATES:

He wants YOU --

DOC:

You.

VIG:

Praise Jesus.

ARCHIE GATES:

Make the fight for freedom on your

own.

DOC:

Oh, yes, you can.

VIG:

Go, baby, go.

Archie walks around, looking into the eyes of each Iraqi

soldier, touching them on the shoulders.

ARCHIE GATES:

Then America will follow.

IMAM:

Jahal yaqat.

DOC:

Jahal yaqat, brothers.

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