Three Kings Page #6

ARCHIE GATES:

I mean, I could take the map, but

you could talk, it starts to

become a pain in the ass for me,

so we'll do the gold together.

DOC:

What gold?

ARCHIE GATES:

You don't even know what's inside

these bunkers, do you?

VIG:

Rolexes.

ARCHIE GATES:

Rolexes are swell, but I'm talking

about Kuwaiti bullion.

VIG:

You mean the little cubes you put

in hot water for soup?

ARCHIE GATES:

No. Not the little cubes you put

in hot water for soup.

TROY:

Gold bricks.

ARCHIE GATES:

5 kilos each, $50,000 in today's

market.

VIG:

For one gold brick?

ARCHIE GATES:

I'm sure Mr. Hussein has divided

his bricks. into many different

hiding places, but just one hiding

place should be easy to take, and

that would be enough to get us out

of our day jobs. Unless the three

kings are in love with their day

jobs.

Dolly:
Troy, Doc, Vig stare at Archie.

FANTASY - EXT. LOS ANGELES - DAY

SILENT - Troy walks in white shirtsleeves, dark tie, pulling

a cart with a salesman's black case on it over a curb.

FANTASY - INT. OFFICE

SILENT - Troy kneels at a disassembled photocopier, tools and

parts all around him, opens a bag of toner, which spills

black dust all over his white shirt

FANTASY - INT. KENNEDY AIRPORT

SILENT - Doc is a red cap. He lifts suitcases from the trunk

of a black Mercedes while a rich white father (mother and two

small children behind) tells him to be careful.

FANTASY - EXT. MISSISSIPPI WOODS

Vig fires his pistols with fury at a series of stuffed

animals on logs -- blowing the stuffed animals to

smithereens.

BACK TO:

VIG:

I don't really have a day job.

TROY:

What about the risk of taking a

Humvee and all that --

ARCHIE GATES:

We do this sh*t all the time.

VIG:

What else did you do, sir?

ARCHIE GATES:

In Panama we went sailing in

Noriega's boats.

TROY:

Wow.

ARCHIE GATES:

In Vietnam, we got a big gold

Buddha, which we unfortunately

dropped in a swamp by accident.

DOC:

What about Iraqi soldiers?

ARCHIE GATES:

Let's see. They had the sh*t

bombed out them for two months,

they're deserting all over the

place, and they've completely

surrendered to us. That's a beaten

army in every sense of the word.

He looks at them.

ARCHIE GATES:

You are now under my command,

salute --

They salute him. He straightens Troy's salute.

ARCHIE GATES:

What's the guy's name outside?

TROY:

Walter.

ARCHIE GATES:

Cappy.

Walter comes in.

ARCHIE GATES:

You will take Bill Smithson on a

special mission to find the gold

story, but it will be a

meaningless ride that lasts all

morning and takes him nowhere near

Karbala, is that clear?

WALTER:

How am I gonna get out of the

company?

ARCHIE GATES:

Your captain will be detained by

a friend of mine.

VIG:

Is it true you got to take an

enemy ear to be Special Forces?

ARCHIE GATES:

No, but if you talk to anybody

about this, I'll kill you.

Vig smile fades as he looks into Archie's cold stare.

EXT. DESERT CAMP - WIDE SHOT - DAWN

Three figures in fatigues crouch low to the ground as they

run to a motorcycle and side car. Walter kickstarts the

motorcycle. PACO the cameraman sits behind Walter with a

video camera. Walter's face is painted beige and brown with

camouflage spots, so is Bill Smithson's, as he crouches in

the sidecar and dramatically gives Walter the thumb's up.

EXT. VAN METER'S TENT - DAY

Cathy Daitch stands next to a cameraman filming Van Meter

while another man holds a boom over Van Meter's head.

CAPTAIN VAN METER

How about if I lean on it, like

this?

CATHY DAITCH:

Very dashing.

CAPTAIN VAN METER

Does it look too posed?

CATHY DAITCH:

Would you ever stand like that?

Van Meter tries a couple of poses.

CAPTAIN VAN METER

I think I might, Jesus, this feels

stupid.

CATHY DAITCH:

You'll get used to it. First

question:
did you dream as a boy

you'd be commanding an infantry

company in a desert war?

CAPTAIN VAN METER

As a boy, I wanted to be either a

veterinarian or a CIA

sharpshooter --

EXT. DESERT - MOVING HUMVEE - MORNING

Bach's Gloria, from Mass in B Minor plays as

Pow pow pow, Vig fires his big pistol into the desert.

DOC:

Pull.

Troy throws a painted football into the desert. Doc fires the

M-16 and blows the ball to pieces.

Archie drives and moves his hand to the Bach.

The convertible Humvee is loaded with weaponry and gear, a

mounted 60 mm machine gun, a Bart Simpson doll on the grill.

The Humvee rolls into the vast desert, littered with burned

out tanks, black craters, overturned vehicles, no people.

DOC:

Pull.

Troy throws another ball, Doc blows it away.

TROY:

Pull.

Doc throws a football from the moving Humvee, Troy fires a

pistol and misses the ball as it bounces to the desert.

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