Thumbsucker Page #5

- It's nothing. Don't hassle me.

You better get moving.

Audrey's working nights now- -

She's sleeping.

She doesn't even care.

I don't know what

the two of you are thinking.

What's your problem?

- Nothing.

- Right.

I think my mom's having an affair.

Are you sure?

Pretty sure.

You could see it coming.

Anybody could see it coming.

Don't be so serious.

Here.

What?

- We're gonna play a game.

- What kind of a game?

You'll see.

Well, actually, you won't.

No, no, no.

Just touch, don't look, okay?

Why?

Because those are the rules,

all right?

How was work?

How was work?

It was really good, actually.

It was really good.

Doesn't it get depressing?

Seeing all those people who have

everything just throw it all away?

No. It's humbling.

Last night, this guy said to me:

" I was born...

...addicted to fantasy. "

Doing great, ma'am.

Push, okay? Push.

We gotta ditch this wetback.

Hey. There are no wetbacks out here.

Just people.

- At least fire back.

- You know I don't use my gun.

- No.

- Just do it.

Let me tell you something.

Do you think Justin's had sex?

That's just the image

I want in my head right now.

Because we weren't much older

when we got married.

How old do you feel?

You have to tell me.

What's her p*ssy feel like?

- That's gross, Joel.

- You're such a prude.

- No. I care about her.

- I heard it's the softest thing ever.

- I French- kissed a girl once.

- Oh, yeah? What'd you do?

- That's not French- kissing a girl.

- Yeah? Then what is it?

A guy and a girl take their tongues...

...and they put them inside

each other's mouths...

...and they move them around

just like this.

This thing bugs me.

Justin.

No, seriously.

Why can't I see you?

Because I told you,

those are the rules.

But why do you get to make up

all the rules?

Why don't you tell other people

that we're in a relationship?

We're not in a relationship, Justin.

Why not?

Rebecca...

...I love you.

God, you always have to make

everything so serious.

This was just a teenage experiment,

that's all.

An experiment?

I needed to educate myself, Justin.

So...

...I decided to pick someone

like you.

Like me?

Someone I'd never get hurt by.

That's just so f***ed up.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm really, really sorry.

But maybe you should just go.

Go, Justin.

Hey.

There you are.

You're supposed to help me

clean the garage. Come on.

Come here.

You missed dinner.

Why you acting so strange?

She just pretends to like us.

- What are you talking about?

- She just wants to have fun.

- You wanna be so serious.

- Oh, I make everything so serious?

She's not happy.

You know, f***- -

I know.

- Then why don't you do something?

- What can I do?

The whole f***ing world

expected me to go pro.

She doesn't care about that.

Well, she'd never admit it,

but how could she have...?

Not been disappointed.

Everybody was.

- You hurt your knee.

- Yeah, right.

But what if it wasn't that bad, huh?

What if I could've kept on playing?

What if your mother

was more important?

Pizza in the kitchen.

Go have your dinner.

You know why she

got that job, right?

What are you doing?

I found a picture.

A picture of that guy.

Do you know about this?

I'm sorry.

You'd think she'd have better taste

than this Matt Schramm guy. Jesus.

Dresses well.

Well, you know...

...it's all out there...

...in picture land.

You know, I can't reach that.

I can't.

The only way somebody like me

could ever get her attention...

...was by being her kid.

Stay away from the window, man.

You're gonna get us busted

for curfew.

Can't even smoke in peace

around here, huh?

Hey, a guy can only kick

one thing at a time, right?

Come on.

So, what, you in juvie?

Yeah.

What's your poison?

- Dope.

- What flavour?

I don't know. Everything, I guess.

Welcome to the f***ing club.

Never met a drug I didn't like.

Yeah, she's a tough one.

In fact, I consider her

my guardian angel.

Are you friends?

It's deeper than that.

A month or so ago, I fly in here.

I work in TV.

My studio commits me.

Maybe you've seen my show.

The Line?

You know, sometimes

you gotta cross it.

I don't know.

Anyway. So, naturally,

I smuggle in a stash, right?

Tucked up my ass.

But it's too high up.

I can't get to it. So...

...I take a spoon.

Something goes wrong.

There's blood everywhere.

That's a lot of blood.

And there's Cobb there.

She runs into my room.

Okay.

Sticks her hand in there.

No Vaseline, just my blood.

There it is. There it is.

- That's heavy, right?

- That's sick.

Yeah.

She saved my life, though.

And that was the moment

I finally got real about myself.

I'm Matt.

And I'm an addict.

The other night she said to me,

"We're all addicted..."

...to something. Maybe an idea...

...of ourselves or our lives.

Maybe some idea of success

or failure.

What, you're scared too?

Being the mother of a 17- year- old

is a trip.

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

You're supposed to have all the

answers, and you don't have one.

Even the idea that once you have a

family, you'll never be lonely again.

Heavy, huh?

We don't like to admit it...

...but we're all just...

...scared little animals.

Hey, it was good to share.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

That's patchouli.

Cool.

So I'll leave you here.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

You sure? You okay?

Yeah.

What?

Nothing.

Ass.

Be quiet.

Joel.

Yeah?

I always kind of thought

Audrey was gonna leave Mike.

They couldn't be apart.

But is that love?

I don't know.

Well, don't you ever think about this

stuff? Doesn't it ever freak you out?

Everything freaks you out.

You don't even care.

You have it so easy, Joel.

- I hate it when you say sh*t like that.

- Like what?

Like you're the only one

with problems.

You ever think

maybe you're so busy being weird...

...that I have to step up

and be normal?

Everyone's worried about you.

All the bullshit

you get yourself into.

Why didn't you ever

just say anything?

I'm sorry.

Justin.

- Yeah?

- Can you come here a minute?

- Oh, no way.

- What?

I got in.

You applied?

Yeah.

Well, you didn't tell us

about this, huh?

I thought you'd talk me out of it.

Oh, honey, I wouldn't have

talked you out of it. I just...

I thought your grades...

I'm happy.

Are you?

Am I happy? You kidding?

Well, what does it mean?

It means I wanna go.

Just like that?

They want me to go

to their summer- school thing.

They want me to make up some math

and language credits this summer.

I was just getting used to you.

I gotta go deal with this shipment.

You know I'm happy for you.

I am. It's just...

I don't know.

If it was Belgium...

...or Chile...

...or Mars.

Somewhere I couldn't picture you.

You'd just vanish.

But New York...

...I can see you.

Justin in Central Park

by the fountain.

Justin in a taxi on Fifth Avenue.

Justin at Times Square.

Justin eating a f***ing hot dog

from a street vendor.

You can always come to visit me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're already gone.

- No, I'm not.

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