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Thunderpants
- PG
- Year:
- 2002
- 87 min
- 739 Views
You've got it! Come on!
Do it, babe!
Come on, babe. Push!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooooh!
Push, push.
You can do it!
Push!
Ooh, it's a big 'un.
Oh, I can feel it coming.
(grunts)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, dear!
- One more push. Oh!
- Come on!
One more!
Come on! Try and push!
(increasingly rapid beeps)
I can see its head.
Come on, Mrs Smash.
(screams)
It's a flyer!
- (applause)
- Well done!
It's a boy, Mr Smash.
That was the first day
ofmy life, ever.
- (baby cries)
- (sobbing) Grab this, Doc.
For about 30 seconds...
...my mum and dad were
the happiest people in the world.
- (doctor) Say cheese!
- And then it happened.
(baby farts)
(gurgles)
(farts through baby intercom)
And it never stopped happening.
Your turn, darling.
(yawns)
(steamy whoosh)
(Ioud fart)
(china smashes)
(farts)
Go to sleep.
(farts)
Dad found my problem
really hard.
But for a while,
(muted fart)
(explosion)
One time...
...he really thought he'd solved it.
- (farts)
- I'd play in my playpen for hours...
...while he'd read the paper.
(farts)
(gurgles)
(farts)
Uh!
- (fart roars)
- Aaah!
That time,
Dad went to hospital for ages.
When he got home,
he had to work nearly all the time.
(mother) Don't go, please!
In the end, Dad decided
to go to work forever.
- (car engine starts)
- I can't do it any more!
- (wails)
- (sobs) Get away from the car.
(mother wails)
After that, my sister Denise
didn't talk to me much.
Even my mum
went a bit quiet.
Got your lunchbox?
So I was really looking forward
to going to school...
...and making some friends.
Give Mummy a kiss.
- (farts)
- Oh.
(teacher) Morning, children!
(children) Morning, Miss Little.
Children, this is Patrick Smash.
Patrick Smash, say hello.
(Ioud fart)
It wasn't a good start.
- (children chant) Fart boy!
- Sit down, children.
All the kids pointed
and shouted.
Except one.
That was the day I met Alan.
(chuckles and farts)
We did everything together.
I don't know what it was,
wejust clicked.
Alan was great.
He liked me for who I was.
And he didn't care
about my problem.
(Ioud fart)
Alan had no sense ofsmell.
Alan was my best friend.
Alan was my only friend.
But every day was a constant
struggle with my problem.
And every day, I tried to avoid...
...Damon.
Look who it isn't.
Patrick Smash.
What are you doing in my corner
of the playground, Smash?
You ain't nothing
but a big, fat loser.
Give us your lunchbox.
(children shout and laugh)
- Ugh. What's this crap?
- It's special food...
...to help me with my problem.
No, it's not. It's crap!
I want jam tomorrow. All right?
Hello, Patrick.
- How progresses the day?
- All right, thanks, Alan.
Oh, no! We've been invaded by
creatures from the planet Zorg!
(boys giggle)
The nearest star, Proxima Centaura,
It is debatable
that this stellar body...
...holds within
its gravitational pull...
...a planetary system of any kind...
...let alone one that goes by
the appellation of Zorg.
- If we widen our...
- Shut up, Zorg boy.
Good one, Damon.
You suck, Zorg boy!
(kicks lunchbox) Idiot.
What am I, Patrick?
Um...
Alan?
I'm a blithering idiot.
with my astrophysics...
...was, quite frankly,
Alan, why do you talk
in that funny way?
I speak with clarity
and precision.
The ability to utilise language
is just one of my many talents...
...talents which will enable me
to realise my dream.
- What dream?
- I am an inventor, Patrick.
Currently, I am engaged
in the creation of a machine...
...that will fly without depleting
the earth's precious resources.
I will build that machine.
I will win that competition.
I am Alan. I am me.
That is what makes me strong.
(# sings in Italian)
Sir John, are you...
are you all right?
Fine, dear lady.
It is, quite simply, my craft.
Sir John Osgood, children.
The second-greatest tenor
in the world!
Thank you very much, Sir John.
- I'm so grateful.
- Pleasure, headmistress.
- (chuckles)
- All stand.
Right, you lot.
Absolute silence!
Not a peep. Not a sound.
Not a whisper!
Not a breath.
Let us pray...
...that when you grow
from children...
...into sensible adults...
...you will have a talent
close to mine.
Let us give thanks for the gift...
...of my music.
Let us pray...
And now, silence...
...for a few moments
of inner contemplation.
Uh...
Ah!
(Iong, loud fart)
(children groan)
(steamy whoosh)
(headmistress) Smash!
You have ruined
Sir John's visit!
You are,
without a shadow of a doubt...
...the foulest little creature
to walk the earth.
Now, get out!
That was the worst day
ofmy life, ever.
Fart boy!
(Headmistress)
I'm sorry. Terribly sorry.
Would you like to retire
to the staff room...
...for a Bourbon biscuit
and a cup of tea?
There you go, sweetheart.
There's your beans.
I'd had enough.
I was fed up.
At moments like this,
(TV) The latest rocket
in the Zeus programme...
(Patrick) I dreamed that one day
I'd become a spaceman.
(TV)... for a series ofcomplex,
highly technical experiments...
...in zero gravity.
Oh. And there she goes.
There she does indeed go.
"Dear Space Centre. Today
I watched the space launch on TV. '
"I want to be a spaceman."
"But I have a problem."
"Would that be a worry?"
"Love, Patrick Smash."
(TV) I'mjoined now
by General Ed Sheppard...
...commander-in-chiefofoperations
General,
that was an incredible launch.
You must be... over the moon.
- (chuckles)
- Indeed we are, Todd.
Tell us, General,
what makes an astronaut?
I'll tell you what makes
an astronaut, Todd.
You gotta be focused,
determined...
...and in complete control
ofyourself.
But most ofall,
all ofmy astronauts...
...each and every one
has worked hard...
...to overcome their problems.
And each one ofthem...
...is a uniquely gifted individual.
(Todd) The crew must be
really special people.
General, thank you for taking
the time to talk to us today.
- And good luck with the mission.
- Thank you, Todd.
And cake news:
Today, a local lady
achieved national...
Overcome my problems.
Uniquely gifted individual.
Alan.
(Alan) Fascinating!
So you would like me
to eliminate...
...that which has made you
an outsider...
...in the eyes of society?
No, Alan. It's my arse.
I want you to make something
to stop me farting.
My flying machine
is proving to be...
...a greater challenge
than anticipated.
It should work, but it doesn't.
The flight competition
is still a week away...
...so a day's respite
will clear my mind.
Yes, Patrick.
I will construct a machine
and before you know it...
...you will be in total control
of your sphincter.
Does that mean
you're going to help me?
Quite so, Patrick. Now, leave me.
(echoing) There is work to be done.
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"Thunderpants" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/thunderpants_21880>.
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