Tiger Shark

---

YOU YELLOW-BELLIED

DEVIL, YOU!

HEY, LEAVE THAT ALONE.

I'M THIRSTY.

LEAVE IT ALONE,

I TELL YOU!

ALWAYS YOUR BACK,

IT ITCH.

THANKS, MIKE.

OUR FRIENDS:

STILL WITH US?

YEAH...STILL WAITING...

STILL HUNGRY.

YEAH, YOU GOT GOMEZ,

AND YOU GOT TORO,

BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET ME,

MIKE MASCARENHAS!

NO. YOU'LL WAI TILL YOUR FINS ROT!

[SPEAKING PORTUGUESE]

THOSE AREN'T NO SAVVY

PORTUGUESE, MIKE.

YOU HAVE TO TALK

I GET YOU SOME WATER.

LEAVE THAT ALONE.

I WANT SOME, TOO.

NO. YOU'VE HAD MORE

THAN YOUR SHARE.

LOOK OUT, MIKE!

AAH!

Mike:
YEAH! YEAH!

ALL RIGHT. TAKE HIM!

HE BELONGS WITH YOU!

HOW HE TASTE, HUH?

LIKE ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN, HUH?

IS PRESEN FROM MIKE MASCARENHAS.

HEH, HEH. YEAH.

HUH?

PIPES! PIPES, LOOK! LOOK!

THEY'RE COMING FOR US!

THEY SEE US!

I TELL YOU:

YOU WILL NEVER GET ME!

I TELL YOU...NEVER.

MIKE!

MIKE!

HEH, HEH.

HA HA HA!

AH, BOY, MAKE IT GOOD,

HUH? HA HA HA.

OK, MIKE. THANKS.

IT'S A GOOD THING

I GOT THIS, HUH?

YEAH. LUCKY FOR ME.

AH, BOY.

HEY, NOT BAD, HUH?

COME ON, MIKE.

OH, NOW, COME ON.

WE KID HER A LITTLE BIT.

COME ON. WE GO FISHING TO DO. COME ON.

SAY, HOW'D YOU DO

LAST NIGHT?

LAST NIGHT?

LAST NIGHT, I DO GREAT.

YOU KNOW THAT ELLA?

SHE'S A GREAT GIRL. SHE'S CRAZY FOR ME.

OH, YEAH?

WHAT'S THE MATTER,

YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT?

SURE, SURE.

I SUPPOSE SHE'LL BE DOWN TO SEE YOU OFF.

OH, YEAH.

I BET SHE WAIT FOR ME ON THE PIER RIGHT NOW.

SHE SAY I'M THE BEST MAN

SHE EVER MEET.

YEAH? SAYS YOU.

HELLO, MATES.

HELLO.

HELLO, ELAINE.

HELLO, PIPES.

HOW ARE THINGS?

FINE. HELLO, MIKE.

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

ELAINE, WHERE'S ELLA?

ELLA TOLD ME TO TELL YOU

SHE WAS SORRY.

SHE SAID TO TELL YOU

HER UNCLE WAS SICK.

UNCLE SICK?

YES. THAT'S WHY

SHE COULDN'T COME.

IF ELLA DON'T COME,

HIS UNCLE IS MORE THAN SICK. HE MUST BE PRETTY NEAR DEAD.

I GOT TO GO:

GET BUSY NOW.

ALL RIGHT, MIKE.

YOU TELL ELLA:

I BRING HER BACK A BIG FISH NEXT TIME.

I'LL SEE YOU SOME MORE.

GOOD-BYE, MIKE.

YOU'RE A FINE GUY.

WAS ELLA SORE:

BECAUSE I BROUGHT MIKE?

SORE? BOY, WAI TILL SHE SEES YOU.

I GUESS:

MIKE DON'T DO SO GOOD WITH YOU GALS, HUH?

UH-UH. IT ONLY

TOOK HER 10 MINUTES TO GET RID OF HIM.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

HE STARTED RIGHT OFF

TELLING HER WHAT A BREAK SHE WAS GETTING MEETING HIM.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE MIKE.

BUT HE'S A SWELL GUY, THOUGH.

Mike:

HEY, PIPES!

YEAH?

LET'S GO!

BE WITH YOU:

IN A MINUTE.

YOU GOING:

TO MISS ME?

SURE, I AM.

IT'S GOING TO BE

TOUGH AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU.

YEAH, I GUESS

IT WILL BE, HUH?

GOOD-BYE. BRING US

BACK A BIG LOAD.

YEAH. I BRING YOU BACK

BIGGEST LOAD YOU'LL EVER SEE.

COME ON, SEAMAN,

GET BUSY.

FISHBONE, YOU GO DOWN BELOW

AND FIX UP THOSE ENGINES.

SHE'S NOT BAD.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

THAT HER, TOO?

YEAH. THAT'S ALL HER.

OH.

LOVE, ESSIE WESSIE.

ESSIE WESSIE?

WHAT IS THAT?

HER NAME IS ESTHER,

BUT WHEN WE'RE ALONE, I CALL HER ESSIE WESSIE.

OH. ESSIE WESSIE.

SHE'S CUTE.

YOU DO PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH. SOMETIME WHEN

WE'RE ON SHORE, BOSS,

I GONNA GET A GIRL

FOR YOU.

YEAH?

YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I DON'T NEED NOBODY FOR GET GIRL FOR ME.

I NEED SOMEBODY:

TO KEEP GIRL FROM ME.

BOSS, YOU AIN' GOT NO GIRL.

SURE, I HAVE!

LAST NIGHT I HAVE GIRL

IS MORE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU GOT THERE.

I SEE YOU LAST NIGHT.

YOU NO GOT A GIRL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU WAS ALONE.

NO, I WAS NOT ALONE.

OH, YES, YOU DO.

YOU TRY TO MAKE:

LIAR FROM ME?

NO, BOSS,

BUT YOU WAS ALONE.

YOU LITTLE SARDINE!

YOU ARE--

Pipes:

WAIT A MINUTE.

HE WAS NOT ALONE

LAST NIGHT. HE WAS WITH ME.

HE HAD:

A GOOD-LOOKING DAME, TOO.

HE JUST LEFT HER DOWN

ON THE DOCK CRYING HER EYES OUT BECAUSE HE WAS GOING AWAY.

YEAH?

YEAH! NOW WHA YOU GOT TO SAY?

WELL, BOSS, IT MUST HAVE

BEEN ANOTHER FELLOW.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN

TWO OTHER FELLOWS.

YOU SARDINE, YOU!

EASY WEASY.

ESSIE WESSIE!

HOOGEE WOOGEE!

ESSIE WESSIE, PIPES.

SURE, IT IS, FISHBONE.

NOT BAD.

ALL READY, GUY?

SURE, I'M READY.

ALL RIGHT,

LET'S HAVE THE HEADLIGHT.

ALL RIGHT BACK THERE?

Man:
OK!

ALL RIGHT,

START HER UP.

HEY, YOU KNOW

I WAS ALONE LAST NIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ALONE EVERY NIGH SINCE I'VE BEEN HOME.

WITH WOMANS:

I DON'T DO SO GOOD. YOU KNOW THAT.

SURE, I KNOW.

WHAT FOR YOU SAY

THAT TO HIM?

BECAUSE HE HAD YOU

IN A SPOT, AND I WAS TRYING TO LIE FOR YOU.

YOU WANT TO LIE FOR ME?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

I'M THE BEST LIAR

ON THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

YOU'RE TELLING ME?

[MEN SINGING ABDUL ABULBUL AMIR]

THE PHILOLOGIST BLOKES,

WHO SELDOM CRACK JOKES

SAY THAT HASH WAS FIRST MADE

ON THAT SPO AS ABDUL'S LONG KNIFE

WAS EXTRACTING THE LIFE

HE WAS EVEN SHOUTING,

"HUZZAH!"

HE FELT HIMSELF STRUCK

BY THAT WILY KALMUCK

COUNT IVAN SKAVINSKY SKIVAR

THERE'S A TOMB RISES UP

WHERE THE BLUE DANUBE ROLLS

ENGRAVED THERE:

IN CHARACTERS CLEAR

"AH, STRANGER, WHEN PASSING,

OH, PRAY FOR THE SOUL...

Mike:
...OF ABDUL

MASCARENHAS ABULBUL"

A MUSCOVITE MAIDEN

WHOSE LONE VIGIL KEEPS

'NEATH THE LIGH OF THE PALE POLAR STAR

AND THE NAME THAT SHE MURMURS

SO OFT AS SHE WEEPS

IS IVAN SKAVINSKY SKIVAR

HA HA HA! OH, BOY,

HE'S GREAT FELLOW, THIS ABDUL.

SOMEDAY SOMEBODY

GOING TO WRITE A SONG LIKE THAT ABOUT ME.

NO, NO. NOBODY

WILL WRITE SONG ABOUT YOU.

HUH? WHY NOBODY

WRITE SONG ABOUT ME?

FIRST, YOU GO TO GET A GIRL. YOU MUST BE DEAD.

I CAN GET ANY GIRL!

AND I CAN BE DEAD, TOO,

ANYTIME I FEEL LIKE IT.

YEAH, AND THEN

I GO TO HEAVEN,

AND ST. PETER, WHEN HE STAR TO READ OUT OF THE BOOK,

I SAY TO HIM, "YOU DON' HAVE TO READ THE BOOK. YOU JUST LISTEN,"

AND ST. PETER, HE LISTEN,

AND THEN HE HEAR A SONG

COMING UP ABOUT MIKE MASCARENHAS.

NO. THE SONG

WILL NOT COMING UP.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THE SONG:

WILL GOING DOWN.

HUH?

YOU GO TO HELL.

HEY, NOBODY SAY

ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME.

YOU DON'T--

YOU MEAN:

BECAUSE MY HAND IS--

MM-HMM. SURE. SURE.

EVERYBODY KNOW:

THAT TO GO TO HEAVEN,

YOU MUST HAVE TWO HANDS,

TWO FEET.

YOU MUST BE:

100% PERFECT.

NO FISHERMAN:

CAN GO TO HEAVEN WITH A BITE OUT OF HIM.

HMM?

SAY, WHO STAND AT THE GATE

TO LET YOU IN?

ST. PETER.

WELL, HE WAS FISHERMAN,

DON'T HE?

SURE.

HE WAS FIRST-CLASS

FISHERMAN IN HIS DAY, HUH, DON'T HE?

OF COURSE.

ST. PETER, HE CATCH

LITTLE FISH--YOU KNOW, SARDINE, JUST LIKE THAT,

IN SEA OF GALILEE,

DON'T HE?

YOU DON'T THINK

ST. PETER CLOSE THE GATE ON MIKE MASCARENHAS,

WHO CATCH BIGGEST FISH

IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN? NO, HE DON'T.

I BET ST. PETER,

HE ASK ME GO FISHING WITH HIM.

YEAH, AND THE FIRST DAY,

I CATCH MORE FISH THAN ANYBODY UP THERE.

[MAN YELLING]

FISH!

COME ON.

EVERYBODY ON DECK. HURRY UP NOW!

Man:
FISH!

HEY, JOE, WHAT IS IT?

OVER THERE, MIKE.

WHAT IS IT?

Joe:
SARDINES.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,

SEND A SHIP OUT.

GO ON, BOYS.

HURRY UP QUICK NOW.

YOU CAN'T CATCH FISH

WITHOUT BAIT.

ALL RIGHT,

LET'S GO, GANG.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'LL HAVE

TO HOLD ON IN THE WIND. THE TIDE IS NOT WITH US.

LET HER GO.

COME ON, BOYS, LET HER GO.

COME ON, EVERYBODY,

GET ON THE JOB.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

COME ON, SILVA.

HEY, GET BUSY NOW!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes