Tin Cup Page #13

75.

78 EXT. DRIVING RANGE - DAY 78

Tin Cup arrives, fresh from the qualifier.

shafting glubs.

Romeo is

TIN CUP:

Romes! You've come back!

(no answer)

You shoulda been there, Romes, I

drained a 30-foot snake to

qualify!

(off no answer)

Earl gave me a straight read -the

thing broke half a dozen times-- missed ya, pods!

Romeo gives him the silent treatment.

TIN CUP:

Okay, don't talk to me -- butyou're still my guy...

(losing patience)

It's a little late to be pissedoff! We're in the Open! You and

me!

Still nothing from Romeo.

TIN CUP:

Awright, be that way -(

switches course)

-- say... has Molly been around?

ROMEO:

I knew you had the hots for her.

TIN CUP:

What's this? Garbo speaks? Of

course I have the hots for her and

I'm doing a damn good job ofkeeping things platonic andprofessional till I kick Simms'ass and show her I ain't who she

thinks I am because, in fact, I am

who she thinks I am but if I win

the Open I won't be.

Romeo stares back at that curious logic.

ROMEO:

Well, I don't think her nor me nor

the God of Golf his self can keepyou from blowing up in the Open...

TIN CUP:

I made it this far! I just got tohold it together for 72 more

76.

holes!

ROMEO:

There's a lotta triple bogeys out

there waiting to grab your ass.

TIN CUP:

(cheerily)

You're complaining again! Romeo's

back! Whining, bitching, pissed

off -- you're my man!

Silence. Some chagrin.

ROMEO:

You didn't fall in love with Earl

to be your caddie?

TIN CUP:

He was a wheezing heart attack

waiting to happen -- cost me

three strokes a side...

(beat)

I carried my bag the last four

holes. I love ol' Earl but I need

you.

ROMEO:

You don't love me?

TIN CUP:

(exasperated)

I love you, too, God damn it!

ROMEO:

As much as Earl?

TIN CUP:

I don't know! Yes, yes, as much

as Earl -

(beat)

More than Earl!

ROMEO:

Am I special?

TIN CUP:

If you can remove the sexual

connotations and overlay a golf

theme, Romeo -- I am your Juliet.

Romeo ponders it all.

ROMEO:

Muy bien, Julietta. In that case

-- I am your caddy once again.

77.

TIN CUP:

Podnuh.

They shake hands.

TIN CUP:

Awright... now that we got that

bullshit outta the way, I'm gonna

hit me some balls and start oilin'

that sweet swing o' mine for the

big boys...

Romeo sits back in the shade, still washing the thousands

of golf balls in the rack, watching as -

79

Tin Cup drops a bucket of balls on the hardscrabble 79

ground, pulls out a club and limbers up.

TIN CUP:

Nobody heard from Molly, eh?

ROMEO:

You got it bad, don't ya?

TIN CUP:

Somethin' about that chick...

Tin Cup addresses the ball and takes a swing. Everything

looks normal in his swing, but...

Thwock! -- the BALL squirls off to the side and RATTLES

against a fence. Ugly.

TIN CUP:

Hmmm... little chili dipper

there...

ROMEO:

Be sure to do that in the Open.

Unfazed, Tin Cup steps up to hit again, but... once

more --

Thwock! -- Another horrible-looking squib to the right.

Romeo stops washing balls and notices, watching Tin Cup.

Thwock, thwock! -- Something's terribly wrong.

CLOSE ON TIN CUP

Concern crosses his face.

TIN CUP:

Romeo!

78.

ROMEO:

I'm watching.

TIN CUP:

It ain't no chili dipper.

ROMEO:

Yeah, boss, you got the 'S' word.

TIN CUP:

What am I doing wrong?

ROMEO:

Shanks are like a virus -- they

just show up. Nobody can figure

'em out.

Thwock, thwock, thwock! -- Three more chili dippers. Our

man definitely has the shanks. And he's panicking.

TIN CUP:

Romes! Something's terribly

wrong. What's your guess?!

ROMEO:

It's the woman.

TIN CUP:

I thought you said it was a virus?

ROMEO:

A woman can have the same effect.

TIN CUP:

What do I do?

ROMEO:

Keep swinging...

DISSOLVE TO:

80 EXT. RANGE - THAT NIGHT (MUCH LATER) 80

Thwock, thwock, thwock! -- Night has fallen and he still

has the shanks.

The regulars have gathered and are huddled, murmuring.

The word has spread like wildfire -- Tin Cup has the

shanks.

CLINT:

Never thought it would happen...

EARL:

The shanks is for us mortals, not

79.

for the great ones...

JOSE:

Esta muy feo... muy, muy feo...

(It is very ugly, very, very ugly...)

Tin Cup angrily throws his club out into the night and

turns to the regulars.

TIN CUP:

Y'know why they named this game

'golf'? 'Cause the words 'f***'

and 'sh*t' were already taken!

A CAR HORN HONKS -- All heads turn to see:

POV SHOT - PINK CORVETTE

pulls in -- Doreen gets out, carrying a big package.

DOREEN:

Hiya, fellas!

TIN CUP:

What is this? Everybody like to

watch a train wreck?!

Doreen approaches the regulars, and we notice for the

first time that there are a number of bags and packages

with the boys.

DOREEN:

He's in one of his pleasant moods,

I see -

ROMEO:

He's got the shanks. We got the

makings of a Greek tragedy here.

DOREEN:

(shouting to

Tin Cup)

Quit whining and get over here.

We've got something for you.

Tin Cup drags his sorry ass to the group.

TIN CUP:

Unless it's a 'swing thought,' I'm

not interested...

DOREEN:

(ignoring his

attitude)

We're here to sponsor you in the

80.

Open. Me an' the boys have pooled

our resources and come up with

some cash so you can look and feel

as spiffy as all them big-name

pros.

TIN CUP:

But I got the shanks -

DOREEN:

Yeah, and you obviously still have

a hard-on for the doctor chick -your

face is all screwed up and

tight like you haven't been laid

in awhile -

TIN CUP:

Is it really that obvious?

DOREEN:

It's not a good look for you.

Roy, your heart is not the only

organ you wear on your sleeve.

There's a certain, vulgar appeal

to your transparency.

Tin Cup shrugs. She always has him outflanked.

CLINT:

C'mon, Tin Cup, we're trying to

make you a presentation -

TIN CUP:

Awright, awright...

She unwraps a tour golf bag -- Big gold and red lettering

advertises "The Golden Tassel." Pastie tassels hang from

all over the bag. Doreen sets it down proudly.

DOREEN:

I got the Golden Tassel to sponsor

you at the Open.

TIN CUP:

You expect me to pack that around?

ROMEO:

I'm carrying the bag.

DOREEN:

It's worth four hundred dollars

endorsement money to you -

Earl steps forward with a golf shirt bedecked with sewn

on patches and logos.

81.

EARL:

See, Dewey got you First State

Banking of Salome, and Clint got

you Short-Haul Trucking and I got

you Brink and Brown sanitation -

TIN CUP:

I'm being sponsored by a sewage

disposal system?

EARL:

We call it human resources

management, Roy, please...

Jose steps forward with a golf cap, also emblazoned.

JOSE:

I've got Wally's Smokehouse for ya

-- kind of a nice sign...

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