To Be or Not to Be Page #8

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- My poor Professor.

I had an appointment with him

this afternoon.

He was due here any minute.

Thank you very much. I won't take up

any more of your time. Goodbye.

Mrs. Tura, I want you to know

that your ties with us are not broken.

After all, you might be very valuable to us.

- Thank you.

It doesn't have to be London.

I might have something here in Warsaw.

Colonel, whatever you decide,

if you want me...

Naturally, I would have to know you

a little better.

That is my duty

and if I may say, my pleasure.

That's nice of you, Colonel.

But at the moment...

- It doesn't have to be today.

When you feel a little better,

maybe we can have dinner together.

Why don't you let me know?

- I will.

And don't take it too hard,

little woman.

I'll try not to.

- That's the spirit.

Mrs. Tura seems to be rather upset.

Naturally, it's very unfortunate

what happened to Siletsky.

After all, he died for the Fuhrer.

- Naturally.

Hello. Good morning,

Professor Siletsky. I have...

You will be a little late.

Yes.

Yes, I understand.

Will you please announce me

to Professor Siletsky?

The Professor left quite a while ago.

- He did? Thank you.

Was Tura here?

- Yeah.

Did he say anything?

- No, he just rushed in...

punched me in the jaw,

and rushed out.

Dobosh, you know what happened?

- Yes. It's all right, Joseph just left.

What do you mean?

- Well, he had some trouble.

Somebody must have grabbed his beard.

Don't worry, I fixed it up and

gave him an extra beard.

Just in case. You never can't

tell with Tura.

He's lost. They found the body in

the theater. They know everything.

What?! - What did you say?

Who opened the theater?

- The Nazis.

Who gave them the key?

- You idiot you, you shut up!

They're gonna kill him.

You've got to do something. Help him.

Rawitch, do something.

Everything is all right.

The Professor is here.

- We will be delighted.

Professor, please.

Heil Hitler.

- Heil Hitler. How is the Professor?

- Fine, thank you. How is the Colonel?

- Excellent. May I?

Tell me, Colonel, what was

your impression of Mrs. Tura?

Wonderful.

- I'm glad you feel that way.

Yes, indeed.

This is Capt. Mueller and Lt. Brundt

of our Special Investigation Squad.

Or what we call the Hotfoot Department.

How do you do?

- It's a pleasure.

How do u do? - How do u do?

It's a pleasure, I'm sure.

Professor, I think we should

have a good talk before you leave.

I have to take up a few things

with these gentlemen.

Would you mind stepping into

my living room?

He should have cracked by now.

Give him a little time.

Let him enjoy his goose pimples.

Colonel, do you really prefer

this procedure to our usual methods?

I would say with intellectuals,

the mental approach is more effective...

and much quicker.

But if he shouldn't turn out

to be an intellectual?

Then we try a little physical culture.

I don't want to hurry you,

but do you think it will be much longer?

Did you get bored?

- No, I tried to open up a conversation...

with your friend in there,

but he seems to be dead.

No. Really. Let's go and see.

It looks like murder.

If I'm wrong, Colonel,

please correct me.

There seems to be a slight resemblance

between me and your late friend.

Has that struck you, too?

- Definitely.

I have a terrible suspicion

that one of us must be an impostor.

Now that you mention it,

I think you're right.

Now, just for fun, Colonel, which one of

us do you think is the impostor?

I hope you won't

consider it impolite, Professor...

but there's a general feeling in this room

that it's you. Please forgive me.

Certainly. You mind if I play detective?

Go right ahead, Professor Siletsky.

Thank you.

Edmondson's London.

- The real Siletsky came from London.

The suit was bought in London.

You think it looks bad for me?

- Terrible.

His watch is still running.

Which means he was killed, since the real

Professor Siletsky arrived in...

This really looks bad for me.

I'm liable to get shot.

There's a distinct possibility.

There's no doubt

there was a definite purpose.

He wanted to look like me...

- Or you wanted to look like him.

That's right.

Our hair is cut alike and even the shape

of our beards is somewhat similar.

Not similar. Exactly alike.

How long did you know each other?

- I just meet him here.

Now you're lying. Plain lying.

You must have observed him

for several months.

It takes that long to grow

a beard of that kind.

Very good, Schultz.

- Excellent, Schultz.

Except you forget

I may be wearing a false beard.

Very funny.

No, Professor. I'll tell

you a better story.

Maybe he is wearing a false beard.

- I hardly think so.

Why don't you convince yourself?

Why don't you pull his beard?

I can't do it.

- No, you can't.

Too sensitive. You can murder a man,

kill in cold blood...

but you cannot pull a man's beard!

I can't believe it.

Schultz! How dare you put me in

this position? I can't rely on anybody.

You gave the order yourself...

- Shifting the responsibility on me again?

That's all, Schultz. Bye-bye, gentlemen.

Professor, I don't know how to apologize.

- You were only doing your duty.

If there's a slightest doubt in your mind,

why don't you pull my beard?

Please, Professor. No.

- Come on. Just once.

Don't rub it in. I assure you,

I never believed it for one minute...

but this Schultz...

And, Professor, if you see the Fuhrer...

You'd appreciate it if I didn't tell him.

I won't tell.

- Thank you so much.

Now, the important thing is to get you

to London as quickly as possible.

With Mrs. Tura? - Of course.

Anything you say, Professor.

Get me the airport.

- Where's Colonel Ehrhardt's office?

Heil Hitler. Colonel Ehrhardt?

- Yes, sir.

I'm in charge of the

Fuhrer's Safety Squad.

I ride with the Fuhrer this morning,

and in one hour...

I uncover a plot against his life.

Can't I rely on anyone?

But, General...

- Arrest this man.

No, General.

- This man's an imposter.

Are you crazy?

- He is Professor Siletsky!

Well? What do you have

to say for yourself now?

Here is a man with a beard,

and you didn't even pull it.

I never saw a more gross neglected duty

in my life.

General...

- I've no confidence in you anymore.

I'm taking charge of

this case myself.

There will be a reorganization here,

and your head will not be spared.

And furthermore...!

General, may I remind you of your

appointment with the Fuhrer?

Yes. You'll hear from me.

Take him out!

Piece of cheese?

Schultz!

I had a plane arranged and everything.

But Mr. Rawitch had a

burning desire to act again.

When Mr. Rawitch acts,

someone has to suffer.

Please, Mr. Tura. Forgive me

for trying to save your life.

Who really bust the whole thing up?

If you hadn't been so stupid...

and jealous of your wife.

- I hope it's true.

But it isn't.

- We'll talk about that later.

Friends...

- Romans and countrymen.

We know you want to play Mark Antony,

but that doesn't help us.

In 24 hours, they'll know everything.

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