To Die For

Here's what I found out.

That all of life is

a learning experience.

Everything is part of a big...

master plan.

But sometimes it's--

Well, it's hard to read.

It's like if you get

too close to the screen...

all you can see

is a bunch of little dots.

You don 't see the big picture

until you stand back.

But when you do...

everything comes into focus.

My name is Suzanne Maretto.

No, wait. I'm sorry.

Suzanne Maretto

is my married name.

My own name...

is Suzanne Stone.

That's my professional name.

It's not like I have any negative

feelings about the name Maretto.

Maretto is the name, after all...

of my husband...

who I loved...

very, very much.

Sorry.

It's also the name of his parents,

Joe and Angela Maretto...

and of his lovely and talented

sister, Janice Maretto...

who have been like

a second family to me...

and who I regard

as I do my own family...

particularly since

my recent tragedy.

I knew just through knowing

and being related to them.

They have given me what I think is

a very precious and valuable insight...

into the different kinds

of ethnic relationships...

that are part of the very things

that I've been trying to explore...

as a member

of the professional media.

First impressions in one word?

You really want to know?

Four letters, begins with C.'

Larry, it's a girl.

You ain't never seen one of them?

'Cold.'

Cold. C-O-I-D.

Yeah.

What did you think of Suzanne

when you first met her?

I just didn't get

the Suzanne thing.

All the girls around town

thought Larry was really cute.

I mean, Larry used to hang out

at the restaurant...

on the nights when my dad...

would let Larry

and his dopey rock band play there.

Just, you know?

Oh, Susie Q

I love you

I love the way you walk

I love the way you talk

I like the way you talk

I like the way you walk

Laura Risley, I remember.

Peggy Holden.

She was kind of a slut.

He could've had anybody,

basically, is what I'm saying.

I don't know. Suzanne-- blonde.

I don't know.

Well, yeah, sure,

I could've said some things.

Well, to tell you the truth,

I did say some things.

He's my brother.

But in a very subtle way.

What do you think

of Angela Raguzzo?

She's all right.

- She's hot.

- Why?

She wants you to ask her out.

Look, don't try and fix me up

with people. It's embarrassing.

All right.

What do you think of Dana Defalco?

You want me to go out

with a girl whose father's in the mob?

- Who says he's in the mob?

- Everybody.

So? Don't you want

a little excitement?

- I got all the excitement I can take.

- With who? The ice maiden?

You don't know

what you're talking about.

- I don't?

- No.

Inform me.

Well, it's none of your business.

But Suzanne,

she looks, you know...

very fragile and delicate, right?

But when we're--

I mean, when I'm--

I don't know why I'm telling you this.

Details are too graphic.

But let me just tell ya,

she's like--

She's like a volcano.

You mean people come from miles around

just to watch her explode?

- Is that it?

- Very funny.

Like Mount Saint Helens?

Man! When he says to me--

I'm gonna marry her.

Wait a minute. You what?

'You what?' I said.

And then he says--

I'm tellin' ya, sis, she's it.

- She's the golden girl of my dreams.

- Oh, God.

And I did one of these...

which I regretted right away...

'cause he looked at me with

that kind of doggy look that guys get.

I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding!

She can't even bowl.

Yes! Yes!

- Let me tell you something, all right?

- Yeah.

She's like--

She's like a delicate china doll.

You ever try kissing a doll?

You know, they don't kiss back.

She's like one of those

porcelain figurines that Mom collects.

She is so pure and delicate...

and innocent.

You just have to look at her,

and you wanna take care of her...

for the rest of your life.

Yeah, I can see that.

So--

Anyway, so when she, Suzanne,

says to me--

If you're actively seeking a career

in the professional ice skating field--

in the spotlight, so to speak--

I think you have to maximize

your positive features.

Sure.

What I'm saying is that

a qualified plastic surgeon...

could just snip away those little

beauty spots, or facial blemishes...

and you'd see how much better

you'd feel about yourself.

You know, commenting about

my face and stuff.

I knew where she was going.

Miss Fixer-Upper.

I believe that Mr. Gorbachev--

The man who ran Russia for so long?

I believe that he would still be

in power today if he'd done...

what many people suggested and had that

big purple thing taken off his forehead.

I firmly believe that.

Someday I hope to interview him,

and we'll discuss that...

along with other more pertinent

international things.

I'm tellin' you, sis,

she's gonna be the next Barbara Walters.

Is that right?

Well, Barbara does have

many admirable qualities--

a wide knowledge

of current events...

and a deep sympathy

for people's inner feelings...

which is a trait so many people have

who are of the Jewish persuasion.

Isn't she somethin' else?

So, yeah, that was it.

I mean, a done deal, finito.

He was a goner.

The point is that, for instance...

Connie Chung,

who is married, I believe...

to Maury Povich,

the well-known interviewer...

doesn't say, 'Hello, this is

Connie Povich with the news.'

I don't think she would be

embarrassed by it...

because she's already pretty ethnic

when you think about it.

Or, to take another example...

someone who doesn't appear to have

an ethnic bone in her body--

Jane Pauley...

who I strongly relate to...

because, you know,

we have similar physical traits.

Although, I thankfully don't have

to struggle with the weight problem...

like she does.

And she also,

to the best of my knowledge...

has never identified herself,

audience-wise...

as Jane Trudeau...

even though her husband,

Mr. Trudeau...

is a prominent cartoonist

of some kind...

and not, as so many people believe,

the ex-president of Canada.

So, what I'm saying is this:

There are some people

who never know who they are...

or who they wanna be

until it's too late...

and that is a real tragedy

in my book...

because I always knew who I was

and who I wanted to be, always.

Who wants to be on TV?

There she is!

- Look at who's looking at herself.

- Just look at that.

Suzanne, lookie there.

Come here.

Look at the camera.

- See?

- Look, what a darling.

Sweetheart.

Can't you get it focused

better than that?

And we're back...

with the families

of Suzanne and Larry Maretto.

Mr. Stone.

At first, I have to admit we--

we didn't think too much of it,

the relationship.

Here was our daughter,

a college graduate.

Junior college, yes, but...

with good grades and a degree in--

Electronic journalism.

Exactly.

And here was this young man...

a good boy obviously...

but, still, a boy

whose education was...

limited to high school.

I remember saying, 'Honey--'

Honey, I'm worried that you don't know

what you're getting into with this kid.

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