To the Bone

1

Dr. Branson, please call 5914.

Dr. Branson, please call 5914.

It's like, every time you turn

on the TV or look at a magazine,

it's, "Oh, my God,

this cake is so delicious."

And, like, your reward or something.

And then, you turn the page,

and there's some sad, fat "before" girl,

and she's all, "I hate myself."

And then, the thin "after" girl goes,

"I did this diet, and now I'm happy,

and everyone loves me."

What about the chocolate cake?

It's like they're trying

to drive us crazy.

"Society's to blame.

The world is so unfair. I have to die."

There's no point in blaming everybody.

Live with it.

Ellen, do you think there's a way

you can express that

without discounting Penny's feelings?

It's not the end

It's not the end

It's false jeopardy

I won't be let down

It's not the end, it's not the end

B*tch.

Told you you'd lose.

You owe me a carton of Camels.

Just try and be sure

It's not the end, it's not the end

It's false jeopardy

I won't be let down

It's not the end, it's not the end

It's not the end

It's not the end

Oh, my God. Look at you.

Your parents are gonna kill you.

No more trips to TJ, Rosa.

I think they put cement in your lips.

Your mom said,

"Take the room in the garage."

There's a room in the garage now?

Every time I come home, you have

a new face and there's more house.

- It was gonna be your mother's office.

- She's not my mother.

Dinner is half an hour!

- Your father and mother are eating out.

- Okay.

- Are you on that dating app again?

- No. Come on, what?

- You know what I'm doing. Come on.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

All right, go. Get ready.

- All right, ready?

- Mm-hmm.

280 for the pork,

350 for the buttered noodles,

125 for the buttered beans,

150 for the roll, and 50...

No, 75 for butter.

- You got it. All of it. Dang.

- Yes.

Oh, my God.

It's like you have calorie Asperger's.

- I mean, hold the applause.

- You're a pro.

Okay, wait. Now, so how many...

how many calories you think boogers have?

Ay, don't say that.

What? She probably knows.

You know, right?

- Not just the beans, the meat.

- I'd say snot's pretty low.

Maybe, like, five to ten,

depending on the size of the pickin's.

- The meat.

- Mm-hmm.

And you are both being disgusting.

"The meat."

You know, you used to have a jar

that you kept all your boogers in?

- No, I didn't.

- You absolutely did.

- You probably did.

- Hello!

- Stop. No, I didn't.

- Sorry we couldn't pick you up.

Work.

Mmm. Did you get settled in?

So, Jack is very upset with you.

He's very worried.

Why doesn't Jack tell me himself?

Your father would rather

you and I have this talk, okay?

Right.

It's not that he doesn't care.

He cares too much.

You don't know.

The doctor said you were defiant

and a bad influence on the other girls.

Is this what it's gonna be now?

Are you proud of yourself?

I'm maintaining.

I have to weigh you.

The agreement was you could live here

as long as you kept up

your end of the bargain.

- You wanna go back to your mother's?

- Mom moved to Phoenix with Olive.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Phoenix.

We can put you on the bus,

first thing tomorrow.

Jesus.

- I had that cold, and I...

- I don't wanna hear it. Get on.

- It's not at zero.

- Stop. Stop it. Get on.

God.

Okay.

Turn towards me.

Do you see that?

Do you see what you look like?

Yeah.

Do you think that's beautiful?

No.

So, what are you gonna do about it?

Jesus Christ. We can't do this again.

I can't do this again.

You have a car now, right?

Yeah.

What?

You're using me to burn off

half a pack of lifesavers or some sh*t.

- The view is best at the top.

- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Hey, look. Don't tell anyone, okay?

- A butterfly tattoo?

- Yeah.

Were you drunk?

- No. Butterflies are classic.

- They're retarded.

Okay, I'm sorry I didn't have

your artistic eye to advise me,

so I got a retarded butterfly.

I mean, it's pretty.

Dad and Susan are gonna kick me out,

or drag me to that treatment.

- Okay, so eat.

- I eat.

You know

that I love you like a full sister,

but you look like absolute crap.

And every time I ask you why you do this,

I always get

some stupid non-answer from you.

At least, I'm a cheap date.

That stuff goes further

on an empty stomach.

I've got it under control.

Nothing bad's gonna happen.

How many people

do you think are down there?

Like, two million?

I bet a bunch of them who are about to die

just said the exact same thing.

- That's not breakfast.

- Neither is coffee. Dad home?

He had an early meeting.

Hey.

You have a choice.

There's one last person

that we want you to see, a specialist.

- It wasn't easy getting an appointment...

- I think I will call my mom.

- I should at least try Phoenix.

- We spoke to your mother last night.

She says it's not a good time

for her to take this on.

But she sends hugs.

Now, you know me, I enjoy people,

but your mother is selfish.

Do you think we wanted to stay

in the Valley? North Hollywood.

But... with this and school for you

and Kelly, only thing we can afford.

Not that I... love the Westside.

You can never find parking.

Well, at least on our side,

we have Pier 1, which I love.

Over there at the Grove,

all you have is Cost Plus World Market.

I mean, all that is just junk.

You too? Was it hard

getting an appointment?

We were on the waiting list

for six months.

Six months?

Ooh, it wasn't that long for us.

I guess word is out

about his success rate.

So, I hear that his methods

are a little unconventional.

They're quite radical. But we've tried

everything else. Renfrew, Maudsley.

Maudsley? Ooh, you're brave.

Was that a nightmare?

It took a long time getting used to it.

- Does that really work?

- No, I'm just thirsty.

How old are you, anyway? Your mom said

you had to drop out of college.

Twenty. And she's not my mom.

Twenty, wow.

And you're some kind of artist?

Your... Well, that lady said

you're kind of famous.

She's nuts.

But you had, like, a crazy fan

or something.

Susan, my stepmom, has a reality problem.

You get one letter, you have a crazy fan.

Seriously? She made it sound like

you had a stalker or something.

Yeah. Not even.

She said she was taking

the anti-depressants,

but she'd been flushing them

down the toilet.

She was afraid

they would make her gain weight.

And I know, she has a right to lash out.

Her mother Judy, she is a bipolar lesbian.

- That is not why...

- Judy has had several breakdowns,

hospitalizations.

Poor Ellen had to call us one time

because her mother was writing

her own bible on the walls.

Judy came out when Ellen was 13.

The child is going through puberty,

and overnight, she's got two moms?

Traumatic. It has got to have something

to do with the weight and...

Sounds rough.

But looking for one reason is

a losing battle. It's never that simple.

Absolutely. I say that to her father

all the time. He blames himself.

Now, I think throwing Ellen

into the deep end, real life...

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