To Write Love on Her Arms Page #6

and now you have to sell your loft

because of me.

No, no. It's just... It's...

It's too big anyway for me.

I'm just... No, I've got, you know,

irons in the fire...

What's wrong with you?

I'm just excited, you know?

I've got a lot of stuff

going on at the moment.

It's really a busy time for me.

Yeah.

Look what I got.

Your watch.

- And it... Yeah?

- Yeah.

All right.

Well, listen, I'm so sorry I couldn't come,

and, you know, have a chance to...

To come get you out, meet you out of there.

Listen, I'm sick.

So maybe don't catch germs from that.

So what did you want to talk to me about?

What's the trouble?

I wanted to know how you stayed sober

for so... Such a long time.

- You just take it one day at a time, you know?

- Yeah?

Easy, easy does it is what we...

You know, you have to wind this or else...

I told you, you have to wind it.

You forgot to hide a

bottle over there, buddy.

I lost the band.

I'm eating crap. I lost the band.

I'm not doing great, okay?

It's been a tough time.

Okay.

I don't have anybody, okay?

I don't either.

Renee, come on!

Renee!

- Hey! Have you guys seen Renee?

- Hey!

- No.

- No.

I've been trying to get

a hold of her all day.

Why, did something happen?

You know, it's nothing.

She just wasn't herself yesterday.

- Did she say anything?

- No.

I'm going to call her.

I'm sure it's fine. I'm going to call her.

Hey! My truck! What the hell?

You have a kid?

Boy or girl?

- Boy or girl?

- A little girl. A girl.

Oh, God!

Look who it is! Yohe!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Check this out, check this out!

This is my new favorite shirt.

I love wearing this thing.

So does that mean that you're...

'Cause you're wearing the shirt,

you're sober 'cause...

Me? No, I mean,

I don't like getting high in your shirt.

So there's some internal conflict going on.

Man. You! You sobriety celebrity you!

Dude, I don't want to talk about this.

Aren't you supposed to be

at that party right now?

I'm the last person who should be

telling anyone how to live their lives.

I was in rehab for six months.

I am exactly the... I'm exactly the same.

The thing that people love about you

and your story is that it's honest.

You're sad. Sh*t happens.

You're trying, okay?

Even if it's just a little bit.

Where else you got to go tonight?

I wrote this story for Renee because

I wanted to believe in

the happily ever after.

Now, her story isn't unique,

but she is.

The way she speaks the truth.

The way she sees the world.

And I pray that never changes.

Now, Renee was

supposed to be here tonight.

But she couldn't make it.

But in the spirit of Renee,

we should open it up to you out there.

Now, we've got some friends who are

going to be bringing microphones around.

They're going to bring

them down the aisles.

Let's stand up and tell our story.

Go ahead.

The first time I ever thought about suicide

was around the same time

I started pulling my hair.

Two weeks ago,

I did a search for ways to end it

and I found the To Write Love site.

I read Renee's story.

I wasn't used to hearing

other people hurting.

Her story helped me find hope.

Thank you.

Anybody else?

Hi.

Hello.

That was...

Thank you.

I'm not sure what to say,

but my friends are here

and I know they're worried about me.

They think I'm better, and I'm not.

But I think that's okay,

'cause I have them.

Secrets make you sick.

Somebody that I love told me that

and it's true.

'Cause when I finally

asked for help, I got it.

And when my friend asked me for help,

I just...

I didn't give it to him.

I think what this whole thing is about

is what I'm going to go do

right now. So thanks.

Thank you.

Anybody else?

McKenna?

Clever. Clever.

Conrad said I should ask you about that.

My father put me in prison.

Well, selling a shitload of cocaine

put me in prison,

but my father turned me in.

I think he knew

it was the only way I'd get clean.

And I hated him for it, I hated him for it.

And I told him in a letter.

And in return, he sends me this.

I never knew why he didn't drink,

and, well, it turns out,

"Like father, like son."

He died while I was in there.

So "James Terrance McKenna."

So I guess

that's all your questions answered.

I'm sorry.

- It's all right. It was a while ago.

- No.

I'm sorry I left you.

I called Conrad.

You did?

Yep. Asked him if he had

any room at the inn.

I told him I'd prefer to get sober

in an all-girls facility.

We all wake to the human condition.

We wake to mystery and beauty,

but also to tragedy and loss.

Millions of people know

that pain is very real.

We also know that hope is real.

When Renee came to us,

we became her hospital, her church.

Coming alive to meet her needs,

to write love on her arms.

Rescue is possible.

God is still in the business of redemption.

The first step to recovery

is the hardest to take.

But it's worth it.

Life is worth fighting for.

Hi, I'm Jamie Tworkowski,

founder of To Write Love on Her Arms.

Millions of people around the world

struggle with depression, addiction,

self-injury and suicide.

There's a stigma that

if you struggle with these things,

you're not supposed to talk about it.

But I'm here on behalf of people

literally choosing to stay alive

and choosing to believe

that life can change.

If you're struggling, or if there's

someone you're concerned about,

please know you're not alone.

It's okay to be honest

and it's okay to ask for help.

You are living a story, and it's our hope that

you will never give up on that story.

To Write Love on Her

Arms still exists today.

We respond to every single message

that comes in,

and there are more ways than ever

to get involved.

I called you from the hospital

You didn't pick up the phone

I was left alone

with the crazy fishes

Swimmin' in their senseless circle

All of us together

Smashing our faces in the glass

This repetition's definition

could be insanity

But flip a switch

and check the sky as I go

Just gotta keep trying

Had to keep trying

I had said that I'd be better

Told you I'd never fall again

Countless times

and you believed me

But I let you down again

I'm not asking you to answer

I can tell this is the end

So I'm goin' to leave you at the tone

I know that I won't spend

my whole life in a cell

I will keep fighting

and so be righting myself

One foot right in front

of the other as they say

Even when it's dismal

I'm guaranteed change

I had said that I'd be better

Told you I'd never fall again

Countless times

and you believed me

But I let you down again

I'm not asking you to answer

I can tell this is the end

So I'm goin' to leave you at the tone

Goin' to leave you

Got to leave you at the tone

Goin' to leave you

Got to leave you at the tone

Goin' to leave you

Got to leave you at the tone

Goin' to leave you

I had said that I'd be better

I told you I'd never fall again

Countless times

and you believed me

But I let you down again

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