Tombstone Page #4

- Maybe... have some children.

- Doesn't suit you.

- Well, how would you know?

- It just doesn't, that's all.

I oughta know my own mind,

and I'm telling you what

suits me is a family and kids.

Suits me right down to the ground.

In fact, that's my idea of heaven.

- All right, what's

your idea of heaven?

- Room service.

Oh, he's laughing again.

Well, that's what I want.

I wanna move and go places

and never look back.

Just have fun, forever.

That's my idea of heaven.

Need someone to share it with, though.

You mean Behan.

Well, then...

Why are you with him?

Because he's handsome

and he's charming and...

He's all right.

For now.

Oh, I know, don't say it,

I'm rotten.

I've tried to be good.

It's just so boring.

The way you talk.

Never heard a woman

talk like that?

Never.

I don't have time to be proper.

I wanna live.

I'm a woman.

I like men.

If that means I'm not ladylike,

then I guess I'm just not a lady.

- At least, I'm honest.

- You're different.

There's no arguin' that.

But you're a lady,

all right.

I'll take my oath on it.

- Giddap! Come on!

Is that the opium

Lou gave you?

It's a new bottle,

isn't it?

You better go easy

on that stuff.

Wyatt, leave me alone.

- And where've you been?

- Just out.

- Hmm.

- Ridin'.

- How're you feelin', Mattie?

Uh, uh...

I don't know. Uh...

I'm all right.

I'm fine.

- You sure?

- Su... I'm sure.

Well, I was

thinkin' today,

we've already made

a pile of money in this place.

If we pulled up stakes

and just moved on, you know,

then we could stay on the move,

keep goin', see the world.

Just... live on room service

for the rest of our lives.

How'd that be?

Room serv...

Wyatt, what're you

talkin' about?

Nothin'. I just...

Just thinkin' out loud,

and you know I...

Nothin'.

Forget about it.

Ow!

What's she doin' with that lunger?

Hey!

Hey!

Is that 'Old Dog Trey'?

That sounds like 'Old Dog Trey' to me.

Pardon?

You know, Stephen Foster.

'Oh! Susanna,'

'Camptown Races.'

Stephen stinkin' Foster!

Uh, yes, well,

this happens to be

a nocturne.

- A which?

- You know,

- Frederic f***ing Chopin.

Oh, yeah.

Boy, I feel great.

I feel... just...

capital.

- Yaahhh!

- Do you see what's

going on in the street?

- Somebody's gotta do something.

- I believe you're the sheriff.

No, no, no, no. This is

not county business. This is

a town matter. Marshal?

Yaahhh!

- Why don't you just leave it alone?

No, I, uh...

I gotta do somethin'.

Wah-hoo-wahhh!

Here's your down card.

- Curly Bill!

Come on now.

Well, howdy, Fred.

Hand those over, Curly.

Hand 'em over.

Why, sure, Dad.

I'm only funnin'.

Here you go.

Fred?

Come on now. Fred?

- Got ol' Fred White!

- Hey, everybody!

Better get him

off the street.

Fred White's dead! They killed him.

They killed Fred White!

- All right, back off.

- Get a rope! String him up!

- Nobody's hangin' anybody.

- He just killed a man!

Then he'll stand trial for it.

Now get back! Move!

Turn him loose!

He said to turn

loose of him.

- Well, I'm not; so, go home.

I swear to God, law dog, you don't

step aside, we'll tear you apart.

All right, you die first.

Get it?

Your friends might get me

in a rush, but not before

I make your head into a canoe.

- He's bluffin'. Let's rush him.

- No... he ain't bluffin'.

You're not as stupid

as you look, Ike.

- Now tell them to get back.

- Go on now, get back.

Go on!

Billy!

He'll kill me.

- And you, music lover,

you're next.

It's the drunk piano player.

You're so drunk,

you can't hit nothin'.

In fact, you're

probably seein' double.

I have two guns,

one for each of ya.

All right, back it up now!

Go home now!

I'll see you soon.

- I'll see you soon.

- We'll meet again.

Well, as you can see,

never a dull moment.

So it takes Judge Spicer

three weeks to get back to town,

and he says, 'Well,

did you actually see it? '

I said, 'No. By the time I got there,

Marshal White had already been shot.'

Then Spicer leans forward

and he says,

- 'Well, can't have a murder

without a witness.'

- What?

- Case dismissed. Can you beat it?

After all that?

Aw, hell, who cares?

None of my business anyway.

Ready to go, Milt?

God, I love this game!

You know, boys, when we're finally set,

we gotta each have

a billiard room in our houses.

I been thinkin',

maybe we oughta open up

a place of our own. You know?

- There's the real money. Build it up,

Milk it for all it's worth,

then sell it off for a bundle...

and breeze outta this burg

with more money than Cresus

and ready to live like kings.

What d'ya think, Virg?

Virg?

Why don't you and me

take a walk around town...

and see if we can't spot us out

a couple of nice lots?

It's workin' out just

like you said, Wyatt.

- Goddamn, boys, we're lootin'

this burg six ways from Sunday.

- Pretty fun too, isn't it?

- Actually, yeah, I gotta admit.

- Excuse me. Wyatt,

do you have a moment?

- Will you just hear me out?

- Now hold on, Mayor.

He already told you now.

You tell him, Morg.

What about you?

You were a lawman.

- I'm busy.

We're all busy.

Sorry, Mayor, but you're

barkin' up the wrong tree.

You know, you men are makin'

a lot of money in this town.

That's good. That's good.

Good for you.

In the meantime, a lot of

decent people are suffering.

But, please, don't let me take up

any more of your precious time.

Rack 'em.

I tell ya, I'm suffering.

From a hangover.

- Stop that!

Stop. No.

Hold on a minute!

Wait a minute!

- Calm down and listen to me!

Nobody's sayin'

you can't own a gun.

Nobody's even sayin'

you can't carry a gun.

All we're sayin' is you

can't carry a gun in town.

That's not so bad,

is it?

Listen, Mayor, I have

to talk to you about this.

No, we don't have to talk.

You can read, can't you?

It's a town matter.

What in the hell are you doin'?

I told you we weren't gettin' involved.

You got us involved

when you brought us here.

Now you hold on

a minute, Virg.

Hold on nothin'!

I walk around this town and

look these people in the eyes.

It's just like someone's

slappin' me in the face.

These people are afraid

to walk down the street,

and I'm tryin' to make money off

that like some goddamn vulture!

If we're gonna have a future

in this town, it's gotta have

some law and order.

Don't do this to me!

- It's got nothin' to do

with you! It's got to do wi...

- Nothin' to do with me?

I'm your brother, for Christ's sake!

God, I don't believe this!

Talk to him, will you?

Or hit him!

Ah, God, don't tell me!

Like you said, Wyatt,

we're brothers.

Gotta back your brother's play.

Just did like I figured you would.

All right now, you listen

to me, both of ya!

For the first time

in our lives,

we got a chance to stop wandering

and finally be a family.

This is trouble we don't need.

You saw what happened to Fred White.

We know what

we're doin', Wyatt.

Okay, fine. Say you're right,

say you don't get yourself killed.

There's somethin' else.

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