Too Fat Too Furious Page #3

in a relationship.

It's leading nowhere,

but you won't let go.

Then he two-timed me

with that filthy blonde slut.

...you try to go on with your life,

but I couldn't get him out of my mind.

It wasn't until

I saw him in your freezer...

Make yourself at home.

I need to pee.

I'll have a shower if you don't mind.

That is, if the plumbing still works.

You can't get any

good plumbers these days.

Will you make some coffee?

Oh, don't use the water for a bit!

The cups are in the cupboard

on the right.

Milk is in the fridge if you want some.

Are you going to fix

my shower? How sweet...

Hey, I'm down here.

Do that again?

- What? This?

With your tongue, like that...

- Oh, you mean this.

Have you had many girls?

Alive?

Only you...

...and my mother.

Isn't that illegal?

It happened in Belgium.

So you never want to get married again?

No, never again.

Unless it's really serious, of course.

Don't stay too long.

Wait a minute...

You mean...?

Really?

Koen! Don't mess around!

You want to... with me?

We have to go on our honeymoon first.

- When?

What are you doing tomorrow?

You're a sweetheart!

Mast.

Koen, he...

Dad, I found a woman.

A living woman.

And her breasts aren't cold.

And they're not hard.

They're just like two balloons

full of tepid water.

And you can move them

up and down.

And you can bite them.

And pinch them hard.

And if you play with them long enough,

they get hard tips.

That's so beautiful...

And she wants to marry me.

Sorry, would you mind leaving?

- Can't you see we're busy?

Kid, give me those keys.

They're in that closet.

Car keys.

Oh, sorry...

You have to promise me, kid.

Is that the big gold car in the garage?

Yes.

I say...

LOCATION A:
AMSTERDAM AIRPOR

Ticket... plane...

Don't be late, okay?

Plane.

Go ahead.

Go on.

Go on!

Yes. Bennie, it's Milo.

Yes?

- Hello.

How are things looking?

- Fine. We're ready.

Oh, then I'll be seeing you soon,

won't I?

I'm giving him some morphine

to ease the pain.

Bennie.

We were going for a stroll

in the hospital garden.

No, Mast. We're going flying.

- Ah, flying.

As a pilot?

- No, as a passenger.

No one's here yet.

We checked in far too early.

Here's some more morphine.

Just in case...

Sorry I can't stay,

but I have an important...

...appointment...

It's always exciting when there's

a chance you could get caught.

Don't you think?

Gently... They mustn't catch on.

They're ready!

The money transport has arrived!

Money transport arrived.

We should have left her

in the freezer.

Bennie, take it easy with the morphine.

- Why?

I think they can mend the bike

in the next village.

Just a little bit...

I need to pee...

Where is he? That headcase.

Hello? I'm Vuck.

I know who you are!

You're going to the plane.

And you'll do exactly

what we discussed! Yes?

Koen, can you see Vuck?

Yes, he's boarding the plane now...

I'll kick that stupid halfwit...

Vuck! What are you doing, man?

Come back down!

Do what we discussed! Take the photo!

Sir! Would you mind going aboard?

Photo?

- We really don't have time.

He's chatting to the stewardess.

What?

- Please?

Very well. One photo, quickly!

What's Vuck doing now?

- He has to go to the right.

Under the wing...

To the right, Vuck. The right!

Right a little.

Head a little more to the right, Vuck.

Right.

Vuck, move right.

- Vuck is in position! I repeat.

Vuck! Take the photo now!

What's going on?

Jeanette AMV at G-731 for dispatching.

Ambulance needed urgently.

Passenger hurt.

To think these corals took

thousands of years to form that reef.

Drive! Come on, drive!

Drive, drive, drive, drive.

Love and marriage,

like a horse and carriage...

Koen, we're going now.

We'll see you at location B.

Bastard.

Did you see that?

- Yes.

That guy was eating a cheese quiche.

We're not getting married!

You've been leading me on.

You and that Fatso!

And I had to pay for my own ticket.

And you're not welcome at my funeral.

Here we are, champagne!

I think it was a leak quiche.

- No, man.

The crust was different from leak.

HQ, who cleared that ambulance?

Who is it for?

Calm down, sir. It'll be all right.

I know a cheese quiche from...

Watch out! Watch out!

Drive. Keep driving!

I can't see a thing... I can't see...

Keep driving! Go on!

Shut the hatch

and unfasten those containers!

Hey, who are you?

- You're not...

Come on! Take off! Now!

Bennie! They're shooting at us!

When I return, we'd better be flying!

Is that clear?

Martin, cockpit!

Keep an eye on the pilot!

Unfasten that damned container!

Who was that?

- The pilot.

We're going to crash!

- Man, we haven't even taken off yet!

Mast, we're going to fly. Now!

No, Mast we're going to fly!

Mast! Mast!

Calm down.

The ambulance is on its way.

LOCATION B:
IJSSELMEER QUAY 13A

Get lost, halfwit!

Great! Come to papa!

Keep it steady! Mind my paintwork!

Hey, gently!

Don't hang on it!

- My paintwork!

Gently! Let go of that thing!

Let go! Okay. We'll haul it in.

Mast!

Mast!

- What?

Bennie!

Are you okay?

Keep calm. I'm here.

Your ears are fine, a**hole.

Hey Bennie.

Too bad about your container.

I really wanted you to have it.

Better luck next time.

Keys.

Hey, f***! Don't shoot!

Die for a dead man, Bennie.

Keys, Milo.

Now walk! You too, move it.

Relax, man.

- You! Put Mast in that van.

Jump! Jump!

Jump!

Hey, f***!

You're more likely to drown

if you're dead.

You know what I mean. Jump. Jump.

And jump.

Guys.

Too bad about all that money.

I have everything I wanted.

You did all this for me.

There are sons you get...

...and sons you can choose.

Bennie! We have a problem.

All of you get out of that bus.

What was it you said?

Keys.

Keys!

Keys!

Hey! Bring that thing back!

Dad?

- I'm happy I knew you, Koen.

It's a pity I won't be at the wedding.

- Calm down.

Mast?

Damn it. Listen to me for once...

Good luck.

And keep an eye on Koen.

Look after yourself, boy.

Mast! Mast!

Okay! Stop, old fart!

You can't scare me, Milo.

What about you?

This is your last warning! Stop! Now!

- Do as they say! Stop!

Stop!

Fire!

Mast!

Come on.

She doesn't want me anymore.

You just have to try harder.

And you promised dad. Come on.

You're attracted to her, right?

See to it that she's attracted to you.

Christ! My car.

She jumped.

- At last!

Who are you?

What's this? Where am I?

Well you...

...dropped in to see your fianc.

He...

- He's going...

...to marry you.

Him?

What a handsome guy.

It's been serviced.

It's standing here.

And when it takes a bend to the left...

...it veers to the right.

Bear that in mind.

If you put it in fourth, take it easy.

- Bennie!

Dad asked me

to give you the keys.

He said that maybe

we would get together some day...

Hey...

Where are you going?

To the registry office. With Katia.

Mast always sat in the back too.

TOO FAT TOO FURIOUS

Welcome to the Quiche of the Year!

And now to find out who won

the Grand Prix for the Best Quiche!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes