Tooth Fairy Page #5

Can I ask you something?

It's about your body and how

it's changing, isn't it?

What?

You know, everything that's happening to you

and your body now is completely natural.

Stop talking! Stop talking!

Eeew! No! Stop talking!

- Okay, okay. Well, you...

- That wasn't what I was gonna ask you at all.

- Okay, okay. Alright.

- That wasn't even close.

Big boy pound for not wanting

to talk about puberty.

Thank goodness. Believe me.

I don't want to talk about it either.

Alright, so what's up seriously?

Alright, well. There's this Talent

Show coming up at my school and...

Okay.

My mom thinks I should play in it

and I'm kind of...I don't know.

- Well, maybe you should play in it.

- Yeah?

Yeah, yeah. You'll be great.

I heard you play. You're really good, man.

And the chicks they

love guitar players.

- We're back!

- Hey, baby. We're up here.

Don't tell your mom

I said that about girls.

- Hi boys!

- Hi!

- How did it go?

- Well, I lose some chips.

- Does not!

- He absolutely does and you look...

- Gorgeous!

- You took the words right out of my mouth.

You guys hungry?

How about we go get some supper?

Love to.

Where did you go, then?

Oh no.

You guys got to go.

Is someone hurt?

No, not hurt the way

that you have to be worried.

And both of you look beautiful

and I will call you later. I'm so sorry.

- Okay.

- Bye.

- Shrinking paste.

- Nope. Not that again.

- Amnesia dust.

- No.

- Flying.

- Bad wing. Forget it.

Hey, and by the way, your all-purpose

magic generator button, it doesn't work.

It's broken.

- Here's an idea, brain box. Why don't you...

- Don't touch my pouch. It's my pouch.

- That was too much.

- What do you want?

I'm just saying, you got the

magical invisibility spray.

Okay, that's relatively

the approved.

Yeah, I know that.

Ignore my last comment.

Hey, what a surprise. It doesn't work.

Your stuff stinks.

- Nice.

- Till it wears off.

- Did you hear that?

- Yes.

Go.

Are you lost?

Can we help you?

How would you like

a little amnesia dust?

- Where am I?

- Just go to the white light, my friend.

Nice doggie.

No, not me, doggie.

What is this?

- It's a long and delightful story.

- Where's the tooth?

Can I get a little help here?

That would be all.

You might just be the

worst tooth fairy ever.

- Oh, by the way, I need some more stuff.

- Stuff?

Stuff. The magic powder, the gank,

the stuff. I need some, notify Q.

No, no more stuff.

Well, that's brilliant. I have a week and a

half left on my job. How am I suppose to do that?

I'm sorry, we're running very low on

funding. And would you like to know why?

- No, not really.

- Because children aren't believing as they used to.

It's not just us. It's unicorns, leprechauns,

dragons, all those departments. Completely gone.

If this trend continues, Tooth

Fairly Land would cease to exist.

No child will ever again receive

a visit from a Tooth Fairy. Ever.

No more visit from the Tooth Fairy.

So what?

You really don't get it, do you?

You don't see the children fantasies,

their abilities to imagine are important.

Why? It nourishes their very souls.

It's the foundation that

allows them to dream.

Dreams are bad.

They're bad. They're useless.

- You're done.

- For the week?

No, for the night. Unless, you

wish to stay for Fairy-oke.

Oh my....No.

I got what you need.

- What's that?

- Goods, stuff, package, bag, bomb, the juice.

The Bing, the Bang, Frisco special,

pink lady, little drummer boy.

Who are you?

Ziggy. But you can call

me whatever you want.

You can call me Zigman, Zigmaister.

- Please stop talking.

- You know, they want you to fail.

- What?

- Think about it. You fail. They talk on more time.

It's like credit card debt, man.

They just wanna keep you paying forever.

- Yeah?

- You really wanna play that game.

- So...

- A thousand bucks.

- A thousand bucks. You're killing me, Ziggy.

- How bad do you want this to end?

Can I write you a check?

Oh, my goodness!

You can see me?

Oh, man.

This better work.

Oh no, what is that?

What are you doing?

What did Ziggy give me?

- Just stay calm.

- 911. 911.

- Fine, I just need the tooth.

- There's an alien on my porch.

You are amazing.

Lily is so tagged off

because she has to send another

fairy to clean up your mess.

I'd learned my lesson.

Never buy black market stuff.

I can't go through another

two weeks without it.

Yes, you can, friend.

You just have to surrender to a higher

power and take it one day at a time.

Hello. Case workers decide

who can see us and who can't.

Which is something you'd know

if you ever paid me any attention,

ever listened to everything I say.

But no.

You always...

Shut up!

Hey, my friend, you really

need to get yourself cleaned up.

If you want I can give you a pamphlet.

Oh and FYI, your sentence

is being extended.

Lily just tagged on

another week so well done.

- Great. Just what I need.

- I think it is what you need, friend.

Listen, I can give you fresh

supplies right now on one condition.

From now on, you follow the rules.

You embrace the fairy spirit and

you start listening to old muggins here.

Fine. I'll be the best Tooth Fairy ever.

You keep running out on me

to see I don't even know who

and then you never call and

when I do finally hear from you

it's to bail you out of jail.

What's going on with you?

I wanna tell you

but I can't.

Why not?

I just can't.

I know what this is. This

is you acting up because

you are afraid of making a commitment.

You're nervous by us

getting serious, aren't you?

Yes, that's it. You know me so well.

I'm nervous about how

serious we're getting.

What?

You're a woman and frankly

you wouldn't understand.

What?

No.

No, I'm not nervous

about us getting serious.

As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even

think about getting serious with you.

What?

I'm afraid and Carly I love you so much.

I'm scared of messing up

and I'm scared of losing you.

I understand.

So glad you could share that with me.

Where can I get some of that?

What are you doing?

Are you oiling up your abs again?

- I'm coming.

- Hurry up!

Hey, I've been stepped on,

flushed, bitten and arrested.

Will you stop complaining? You

promised to embrace the fairy spirit.

Oh, I'm embracing the

fairy spirit, alright.

But I'm doing it...

My way.

- I'm not sure that's in the rules.

- Oh yeah.

I'm just here for the tooth, sir.

Just the tooth.

I'm gonna take my glove away.

That's it.

Now, just hand over the tooth.

Nice and easy.

Let it go. Let it go.

I said let it go.

Very good.

You have a good night, sir.

- Who are you?

- I'm the Tooth Fairy.

Oh yeah.

You got it?

Alright, let's go.

Alright, Mick, how's life is

Lansing so far for you?

It's been good. You know,

I'm the new blood of the team and...

you know, some of

these wolves are getting

a little bit longer than

tooth if you know what I mean.

When you say longer than

tooth that would seem to be

a veiled reference to Derek

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