Topkapi

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Emerald,

my kingdom for the emerald

For the Topkapi emerald, oh, hallelujah

It can be done.

That's the way it can be done.

Oh! Oh, excuse me.

I've just had a great idea.

Something I've been looking

for a long time. A very long time.

Josef, how many times have you

been in and out of the country?

Many times, many times.

I should say... Yes, 12 times.

Ever had a problem

at the border, at customs?

- Bah! They know me.

- Josef,

you're going to be very rich.

Do you like that?

I like that.

It will be some time

before I see you again, Josef.

I will wait for you.

This is...

You don't even know

who I am, or where I am.

First, my name is not really

Elizabeth Lipp, but please call me that.

It's convenient.

And I am in Turkey -

in Istanbul - in the seraglio.

This is where the old sultans lived.

They had a lot of wives

and other treasures,

so they made the palace

bigger and bigger.

Like each of the buildings here,

this little shack contains

works of art unique in the world.

The entire seraglio is now a museum -

the fabulous Topkapi Museum.

But... but there is one special room.

That's why I'm here.

I'll show you.

Come in.

This cradle - pearls, rubies,

and pure, solid gold.

This is the famous throne

of Shah Ismael.

No king or emperor ever sat

on a throne more precious.

From every corner of the earth -

gitts made to the Turkish empire.

But I would give you all of them

for just one dagger,

encrusted with diamonds

and emeralds.

The four greatest emeralds

the world has ever known.

Dazzling.

Flawless.

All four are priceless.

But there is one that is perfection.

It has life. It is warm.

It has nerves, senses...

Oh, forgive me.

A strange thing happens to me.

Difficult to explain.

All right.

I'm going to have it.

It's going to be mine.

How?

I didn't finish introducing myself.

I am a thief.

Honest.

Excusez-moi, monsieur l'agent,

o est l'Htel George V?

Vous descendez les Champs lyses

et vous prenez l'avenue George V.

- Merci.

- votre sant, monsieur.

Merci, monsieur l'agent.

Taxi!

A gun is one thing,

intelligence is another.

Since I'm more afraid of intelligence -

Htel George V. Here.

Up to your old tricks, Walter?

Hello, Elizabeth.

- What brings you here?

- That old magnetism. I was drawn to you.

It took three years to get

that old magnetism to work.

- How's the captain?

- Hm?

My successor.

It took three days

for the magnetism to wear off.

Seriously?

Seriously.

- Cannibal.

- It's like Chinese food.

One hour, and you're hungry again.

- What do you want?

- You.

- Business? Pleasure?

- So many questions.

Let's go and eat.

I am hungry.

- Where?

- My studio.

- Still the same?

- Slight change.

You've lost none of your skill.

- Darling, you too.

- I was talking seriously.

- I, too.

- You're never serious,

except when it comes

to stealing emeralds.

It's a living.

Well?

It's too tough.

But I'll do it.

- I knew you would.

- On one condition.

- Granted.

- I pick the crew.

- As always.

- Not as always.

This time, with amateurs.

- Amateurs?

- Only amateurs.

- All right, I give up.

- My favourite pupil.

Sit down.

Lesson one -

the three cardinal rules of thett.

How Swiss you are.

Eins, zwei, drei.

You're right. Eins - plan meticulously.

- Zwei - execute...

- Cleanly.

- Drei?

- Don't get caught before, during...

Or atter. That's right.

The Istanbul emeralds -

the most protected jewels

in the world - have been stolen.

Alarm system.

Check Cedric Page, London.

Cedric Page?

What's that?

You will meet him.

Now, the emeralds are gone.

Policemen of the world unite.

You're Scotland Yard, Turkish police -

what do you do?

- What do I do?

- You eliminate the riffraff.

Obviously, this is a class job.

You dig out the dossiers

on the top professionals, the elite.

How many are they? Not more

than half a dozen, and all known.

But, there is no dossier

on Elizabeth Lipp -

not even Elizavetta Lippmanova -

because you have been lucky.

There's no dossier on Walter Harper -

not even Walter Haberlee -

because I have been efficient.

- What you would call "Swiss".

- Liebling.

So there must be no police record

on anyone who works with us.

Where do you find

these lily-white innocents?

That's my job.

What do you say?

Amateurs?

Amateurs.

Ah.

He has many children, Cedric Page?

None.

These are all his own toys.

- Come, look at this parrot.

- I don't like parrots.

This one isn't real.

I'm beginning to wonder

if anything is real.

I'm beginning

to wonder if anything is real.

Well you may, dear lady.

Like the old faith healer of Deal

who said, "Although pain isn't real,

when I sit on a pin

and it punctures my skin,

I dislike what I fancy I feel."

I'm Cedric Page. How nice of you to come,

Walter, and to bring Miss Lipp.

I see you've met my recording Polly.

Amusing, isn't she?

Oh, very. I hope it won't record

all our conversations.

Polly is the soul of discretion.

I never go anywhere without her.

Well, shall we move into my den?

We'll be more private in there.

Come along, Miss Lipp.

My newest toy.

It doesn't work with a ray.

Just the smallest

change of temperature,

the natural heat of the human body,

close enough to it does the trick.

If you had a refrigerated dress,

it wouldn't work!

Fortunately, I haven't. I very seldom

wear one, especially not in England.

Make yourselves comfortable.

The entertainment is charming.

- Is it all for me?

- I'm a terrible show-off.

But do let me offer you a drink.

- No, thank you.

- How was your trip to Istanbul?

Marvellous! Did you go on

the underground railway?

It's the oldest in Europe.

Did you bother to go

to the museum, Mr Page?

Well, of course. That was the whole idea,

wasn't it? The alarm.

I take my responsibilities

in this enterprise seriously,

as I'm sure you do, Miss Lipp.

Well, now, let's all go

into the museum, shall we?

Here is the door, shall we say?

And Walter - Walter is the sultan...

with the dagger.

Miss Lipp?

It was you weight that did it,

on the Treasury floor.

Perhaps I should have said,

"Even your weight".

Try again, just one foot.

Well, just the toe.

It's all based on a little chap down here.

This is a delicate strain gauge.

There are hundreds of them

under the Treasury,

each one connected to the alarm system.

They measure weight -

the smallest weight.

Even a ping pong ball.

That's our problem.

Then all you have to do

is to find the switch and turn it off.

It could be anywhere,

hidden in the walls or the ceiling,

operated by remote control

a mile away or more.

And how do you propose to get into

a museum without touching the floor?

I wouldn't have to touch

the floor if I were a fly.

It isn't how I see you, Mr Page.

We have our human fly.

And our human fly holder.

- That's Giulio, that's Hans.

- And...

...we have a sucker!

A sucker?

Yes. You'll catch on.

And we need another kind of sucker,

but him we'll find in the north of Greece.

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