Topsy-Turvy

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One, two. Two, two.

I deliver perfection... | and don't brag about it! :D

# So please you, sir, we much regret

# If we have failed in etiquette

# Towards a man of rank so high

# We shall know better by and by

# But youth, of course, must have its fling

# So pardon us, so pardon us

# And don't in girlhood's happy spring

# Be hard on us, be hard on us

# If we're inclined to dance and sing

# Tralalalala

# But youth, of course, must have its fling

# So pardon us

# And don't in girlhood's happy spring

# Be hard on us

# But youth, of course, must have its fling

# So pardon us

# Tralalala la la la

# Tralalala la la

# Tralalala la la

# Tra lalalalalala

# Tralalalalalala la!

- Sir Arthur, what are you doing? | - Going to the theatre.

- No, it is not possible. | - I have no choice!

- You must get back... | - Louis!

- D'accord.

- Louis! "Schnell", please! | - Don't move.

Clothilde, encore du caf. Vite.

Sir Arthur, la tasse, s'il vous plat.

- Merci.

Nicht so schnell.

Louis, ich muss das allein tun.

I'll be fine. Now go and fetch the cab.

- Canton. | - Good evening, sir.

Arthur!

- Arthur, is this wise? | - No, it's foolish.

- Do you intend to go on? | - Yes, Helen. I've never missed one yet.

I'll let everybody know.

- Here, take a drink. | - Thank you.

Oh, that's better, Frank.

- Your gloves, sir. | - Very good, Louis.

This "is" a surprise, sir.

# As up we string the faithless king

# In the old familiar way

# We'll shout ha ha! Hip hip hurrah!

# Hip hip hip hip hurrah!

# As we make an end of her false papa!

# Hurrah! Hurrah!

- Permission, Mr Cook. | - Permission, Shrimp.

Come!

Five minutes, Mr Grossmith.

# If you give me your attention | I will tell you what I am

# I'm a genuine philanthropist

# All other kinds are sham

# Each little fault of temper

# And each social defect

# In my erring fellow creatures

# I endeavour to correct

# To all their little weaknesses

# I open people's eyes

# And little plans to snub | the self-sufficient I devise

# I love my fellow creatures

# I do all the good I can

# Yet everybody says | I'm such a disagreeable man

# And I can't think why

# I'm sure I'm no ascetic

# I'm as pleasant as can be

# You'll always find me ready | with a crushing repartee

# I've an irritating chuckle, | I've a celebrated sneer

# I've an entertaining snigger

# I've a fascinating leer

# To everybody's prejudice | I know a thing or two

# I can tell a woman's age | in half a minute - and I do

# But although I try to make myself

# As pleasant as I can

# Yet everybody says | I am a disagreeable man

# And I can't think why

# He can't think why

# I can't think

# Why

- Bonsoir.

- Merci.

What do you expect me to do? | Kiss the carpenters?

Arthur!

Let's get him up.

Come on, sir.

Arthur, take some brandy.

What happened? What happened?!

Is Doctor Lynch in the house?

Listen to this! Today's "Times".

"'Princess Ida' will | probably run for a year...

...keeping the Savoy treasury | agreeably replete all the while."

"All London will flock to hear it."

"So will our provincial, | American and continental visitors."

"Copies of its words and music | will be sold by tens of thousands."

"Everybody connected with it will have | a good time for at least twelve months."

"So mote it be."

- How splendid, Willie! | - Sugared words, Lucy.

Listen.

"The opera is above the level of all | other entertainments before the public."

"Still, I cannot pronounce it | to be in any way...

...an improvement upon its predecessors."

"To me, words and music alike reveal...

...symptoms of fatigue in their | respective composer and author."

"Arthur Sullivan cannot write | other than in pleasing manner...

...but several numbers in 'Princess Ida' | lack the freshness and spontaneity...

...of 'The Pirates of Penzance', | 'Patience, lolanthe'...

...or 'The Sorcerer', his best operatic work."

Oh! Is it?

"Or 'HMS Pinafore', the most popular."

"WS Gilbert abundantly proves | he is still the legitimate monarch...

...of the realm of Topsy-Turvydom."

Thank you very much(!)

"But his incongruities are more | elaborately worked up than of yore...

...and therefore less funny."

"Moreover, the story is a dull one!"

- Burn it, Pidgeon! | - Sir.

Willie...!

Your kidneys are getting cold!

The show's doing splendidly. | Full houses and a healthy advance.

- Capital. | - Three tours on the road.

Pirates, Patience and lolanthe.

- Merveilleux.

New York can't wait for "Ida".

Ah, New York. How splendid.

- Helen has us booked up to year's end. | - Tireless as ever.

All part of my day's work.

- Tea, Miss Lenoir? | - No, thank you, Louis.

Very well.

I hope your confinement | hasn't made you restless.

How have you been passing the time?

I've made some resolutions, Helen.

- A little late in the new year, perhaps. | - Better late than never.

May we know what they are, Arthur?

Why not?

One.

To travel to the Continent | as soon as my health permits.

- Very wise. | - I think so.

Two.

To look for a country house | where I may repair each summer...

...without having to cross the Channel.

- Three. To take more exercise. | - Excellent, Arthur. About time, too.

A leaf out of your book, D'Oyly. | I must walk more.

And is there a number four?

Yes.

To write no more operas for the Savoy.

- And what is number five? | - To fly to the moon in his bed socks!

No, I'm serious. | I have to write a grand opera.

People expect it of me. | I must not disappoint them.

I cannot waste any more time | on these trivial souffls.

Do you know I haven't written | a symphony for over 20 years?

Not an unprofitable 20 years, | if I may say so.

Arthur.

If you would learn to organise | your time more efficiently...

...you could do everything you wished.

My time is finite, Helen. I must fill it | with that which is important to me.

Is not the Savoy Theatre | important to you?

This work with Gilbert | is quite simply killing me.

Working with Gilbert would kill anybody.

Is your contract with D'Oyly | and Mr Gilbert not important to you?

But our present concern is your health.

You must go to the South of France | and recover.

We can discuss this on your return.

I shall recover, D'Oyly.

And I shall return.

But there will be nothing to discuss.

Did you dine at the Beefsteak Club?

Yes. Somewhat unsatisfactory.

Oh.

Well, you missed Mrs Judd's rabbit curry.

One gets the impression that everyone | is snickering behind one's back.

Perhaps you could have some | for tomorrow's lunch.

The king of Topsy-Turvydom.

Humiliating.

You look a little uncomfortable.

I'm comfortable enough.

I watched a bit from the wings.

- Oh, did you? | - The first act.

Seemed to be going well, surprisingly.

There! You see?

Would you like me to read to you?

No, thank you. I'll leave you.

You must be tired.

No, I'm not in the slightest.

Wrong of me to unburden myself on you.

Don't be silly. That's why I'm here.

Come and talk to your Kitty.

Sometimes one wonders | why one bothers.

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