Torch Song Trilogy Page #5

Believe me, ma, | i know.

God doesn't know.

My son knows!

Why are | the mirrors covered?

So we don't see the pain | in our faces.

Why are you | sitting on boxes?

To make sure | there's pain in our faces.

You told me | he was jewish.

Out-Of-Town jewish.

What will you do?

Are you going to | keep the house?

I'll teach out | the term,

Put the house | up for sale,

And go live | in florida.

Why florida? | Phil and i are here.

That's what we do. | We go to florida.

My mother did it.

That's what we do.

We go to florida.

I don't care | what "we" do.

What do you | want to do?

I want to die.

Till then, | i'll go to florida.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hello...

Oh, i woke you?

Good guess.

[Cough cough]

Is this arnold?

That's what | they tell me.

Who is that?

I don't know.

Well, speak up.

I'm a drag queen, | not a mind reader.

I don't know | you'd remember me.

We both know ed reiss.

We met at | his place once.

My name's laurel.

Ed and i are lovers.

We thought you could visit us | for a few days.

Hello? | Are you with me?

I'm way ahead | of you.

Sorry, i't into | that kinky stuff.

Ed s

Whose idea was this?

We both like you | too.

But whose idea?

What's | the difference?

Ed values | your friendship,

And you never | see each other anymore.

I don't think this | is a good idea,

But thanks anyway.

We're going.

What? We are not.

Shut up. | We're going.

Isn't this civilized?

Guests up to | our country home

For the weekend.

We've had guests | before.

We can hardly | compare this

To having your sister, | her kids,

Or your parents up.

Imagine. Hostess | to your lover's ex

And his new boyfriend.

Would you stop?

[Honk honk honk]

This is it.

Hi.

Hi.

You finally made it. | How you doing?

Look at you.

Hi.

Hi.

You look great.

This is laurel.

Arnold, hi.

You're alan.

Yeah.

You need help?

Oh, thanks.

You got it? Good.

This is laurel,

And, uh, | let's go on inside.

Hi.

How are you?

Come on in.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. Ha ha ha!

So...

Arnold, ed tells me | you're a transsexual.

Transvestite.

I'm sorry.

That's all right.

Actually, i'm just | a drag queen.

I'm teaching | my classes computers.

It's an experimental | program.

Really?

He's even tried | teaching me,

But i'm baffled.

Hardware, software,

I can never remember | which is which.

Computers | are the opposite | of people.

With computers, | the software goes | into the hardware.

And with people--

All this food | has done me in.

What say | we hit the hay?

Eh?

Did you see how | he fawned over alan | at dinner?

He practically cut | his steak for him.

No more than i | fawned over you.

The two of you | were lovers.

Little games and jealousies | are going to pop up.

Did you see how | he made a point

Of running off | to bed early?

"All that food's | done me in."

If i had someone | as pretty as that | to go to bed with,

I wouldn't have | stayed up either.

He's pretty?

Uh-Huh.

Don't you think | he's a little young?

Uh-Uh. | You hear the way

Their bedsprings | were squeaking?

I think that i | do pretty well

In the squeaking | department.

Oh, you do, huh?

Making allowances | for wear and tear.

It's too early | in the race

To make a plea | for sympathy.

You want to race? | Ok. We'll race.

Ha ha ha!

Jesus! Do you | hear that?

[Bump bump bump]

Ooh, baby, | talk dirty to me.

Well go outside | and listen at their door.

Give my best | to the bisexuals.

Only he's bisexual. | She's straight.

Too bad.

Mixed marriages | never work.

So what | do you think?

About what?

Seeing ed again

With me | to compare him to.

Is that what | we're doin' here?

He ain't so hot.

Not hot enough

To be the great | love of your life, | anyway.

I never said he was.

He's got | his good points.

He's good-Natured, | good-Looking, good in bed.

Good and boring.

He's not | good and boring.

He's just | plain boring.

But you | loved him, right?

I guess so.

He loved you.

I see the way | he looks at you.

Why did you two | break up?

We wanted | different things.

Like what?

I wanted a husband.

He wanted a wife.

That was delicious, | laurel.

Isn't she | a great cook...

Besides | being beautiful?

Just delicious.

I bet i gained | five pounds.

Ed, why don't you | show them

Our new | canning machine | in the barn?

Thanks. | I've seen the barn.

Uh, ed...

Why don't you | show it to alan?

He's the real can | connoisseur in the family.

I'll stay | and help laurel

With the dishes.

We need to compare | notes on you.

Uh, just what she's been waiting for. | Mind if i steal the brandy?

Come on.

Stuck with the dishes.

It's right up there.

Tell me about you.

That's the reason | we're here.

Is it?

Sure is.

Wasn't going to let | this opportunity

To meet my competition | go by.

I'm no competition.

I am.

So talk.

Why don't you | ask arnold?

I'm sure he has lots | to say on the subject.

He says you're | a boring,

Insensitive | old fool

Who wouldn't know love | if it wore wings, diaper

And shot arrows | at your butt.

Anything you'd care to add?

No. That'll do.

What do you think?

I' think i'll reserve my judgement | until i can make a closer inspection.

Close enough?

You asked me | to sit in the hay,

Not roll in it.

I think you're | very beautiful.

I thought | you were reformed.

You want me | to stop...

Just say so.

Do you?

I didn't think so.

Let's go.

I'm sorry you couldn't | stay for supper.

So are we.

Yes. It's a shame.

Laurel, listen, | i'll call you.

Thanks.

Drive safe, ok?

What the hell's | wrong with you?

Bye.

Give us a call | any time.

Maybe we'll do it | again sometime.

Let's just | get out of here.

[Doorbell rings]

[Ring ring ring] | [ring ring ring]

Oh, i'm sorry.

I thought | you weren't home,

And i was working | out some frustration.

And i thank you for it. | Come on in.

Is alan here?

No. He had | some early appointments.

Are you all right?

I could use | some caffeine.

I can't believe | how i misjudged

Your relationship | with alan.

Actually, you're | so perfect together.

I'm certain you'll | work everything out.

I wasn't aware of anything | to work out.

You two didn't have words?

None we haven't used before.

You mean what happened between ed | and alan doesn't bother you at all?

What?

You blurted it out? | Just like that.

I thought he knew. | I meant it as a friendly remark.

With friends like her | who needs divorce court!

I thought you left him. | I thought it was because | somethin' i said .

You gonna | tell laurel?

What i do is my business.

Ed told me about it after you | left. He was crying.

I was dumbfounded.

I didn't know which | one of us to comfort.

All you had to do was ask.

Ask you what?

Not to fool around. | And i wouldn've.

But you never asked me?

Cause i wanted you to | feel that you could.

You mean you wanted me | to feel that you could.

Just once in my life. | Couldn't an affair | go on the rocks

After the passion | wears off?

Your the one that wanted | this weekend. You wanted to know--

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