Total Eclipse Page #4

But me... l'm here

because I choose to be.

Yes?

Yes.

And why exactly?

Why did you choose

to come to London with me?

No doubt you regarded it as

another stage in your odyssey...

only by plunging ever deeper,

if I may mix my myths...

will you gain the right to graze

on the slopes of Parnassus.

Of course there are

less subtle reasons...

for putting up with me.

Such as?

Such as the fact

that I support you.

Your mind is almost

as ugly as your body.

Where are you going?

- Are they fresh?

- Yes.

This one.

God, you look such a c*nt.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Wait!

Paul, wait!

Move!

Don't go!

Come back!

Don't leave me!

Come back!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

How am I supposed to live?

Come back.

Please come back.

You're my only friend.

I promise you

I'll behave myself.

It was only a stupid joke.

Sir?

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

When I called you,

why didn't you get off the boat?

We lived together for

two years to finish like this?

Think back to what you were

before you met me.

Listen to your heart.

Yours for always.

I'll go back to Paris tomorrow.

Look...

it won't happen again.

I'll never walk out

on you again, I promise.

No, you won't.

I'm not going

to give you the chance.

What was I supposed to do

in London with no money?

I'm sorry. I was very hot.

For God's sakes, why?

I've said far worse things

to you than that.

You really did look like a c*nt.

Where have you been?

Out.

I went to

the Spanish embassy again...

to see if they'd change

their minds, but they wouldn't.

It's f***ing ridiculous.

"I'm willing to fight

and die for your cause.

"You can't afford to turn

away volunteers."

They said they weren't

taking on any foreigners.

Then I said, "You deserve

to lose the f***ing war...

"and I hope you do."

You were at

the Spanish embassy all morning?

No.

You're drunk.

I have, yes, had a few drinks.

What are you doing?

Packing.

Where are you going?

I'm going back home to Roche.

I'm going to finish my book

and have it published.

Oh, publish.

I thought you were

far too important for that.

Anyway, I've decided.

We're going back to London.

We're not going back to London.

It's by far the best idea.

Then why did you go

to the Spanish embassy?

I didn't.

Don't go. Think it over.

I've thought it over.

Do you know what day

it is tomorrow?

Friday.

It's my wedding anniversary...

and I haven't seen her,

my wife...

since we made love here

in Brussels nearly a year ago.

She won't answer my letters.

I wrote her if she didn't come

to Brussels within 3 days...

I'd commit suicide,

and she didn't even reply.

But then you didn't

commit suicide.

I suppose

you think that's funny.

No, it's pitiful.

How many people did you tell

you were committing suicide?

I'm surprised you didn't

send out invitations.

How can you be so callous?

Callous?

You abandon me in London...

then summon me to Brussels

and expect me to hang around...

while you decide whether

to leave your wife...

join the army,

or shoot yourself?

Then when you fail

to achieve any of these aims...

as you undoubtedly will...

you want me to go

back to London with you!

It's not gonna happen!

I'm leaving you!

You can't.

You can't!

Look, look.

Look, this summer...

Remember last summer

when we set out...

how wonderful it was?

Remember?

Why don't we go south?

Late summer

on the Mediterranean...

we could dedicate

ourselves to warmth.

Or Africa.

You've always wanted

to go to Africa.

Just for a month,

then make up your mind.

Look at the sun.

No.

Why not?

I can't.

It's no good.

It's too late.

It's not!

I promise you, it's not.

You know if you leave me,

you'll kill me.

I can't bear to be alone.

I don't exist

without someone else.

I don't care if you stay with me

out of pity, just stay!

- I can't.

- Why not?

You don't care.

You have no idea

what this means.

For God's sake, stop whining!

It's very hot.

Take off your coat.

I will.

I did some shopping

this morning.

I bought a gun.

What for?

For you, for me...

for everybody.

I hope you bought

plenty of ammunition.

I'm not going

to let you go, you know.

This is a rather

entertaining number.

We haven't seen this one before.

I'll kill you!

For God's sake,

pull yourself together.

I read your letter.

You begged me to come back.

You said you were crying

as you wrote it.

I could see

your tears on the paper.

That was before I thought

of pawning your clothes.

I didn't mean to.

Look what you've done.

I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.

Look.

Oh, my God. Kill me.

Shoot me.

Shoot me!

How can I, you stupid f***?

You've just blown

a hole in my hand.

Oh, God. What have I done?

You missed.

Open up!

Open up in there!

What exactly

are you doing in Brussels?

I was hoping my wife

might come and join me here...

as she had done on one occasion

since our separation.

I fail to see how

the departure of a friend...

could have cast you

into such despair.

Did there perhaps exist

between you and Rimbaud...

other relations

besides those of friendship?

No.

This is a suggestion

slanderously invented...

by my wife and her family.

Take off your trousers

and lie down on this, face down.

Both doctors have testified...

that on the basis

of their examination...

they are satisfied

you have recently indulged...

in both

active and passive sodomy.

Have they?

Do you deny you're

a practicing sodomist?

The word is sodomite.

Whatever the word may be,

the activity it describes...

is not one which is

encouraged in Brussels.

Paul Verlaine,

the court finds you guilty...

under Article 399

of the penal code...

of grievous bodily harm

and sentences you...

to a fine of two hundred francs

and two years imprisonment.

Now what's the matter?

Eat.

God.

What does it mean?

I don't understand

what it's supposed to mean.

It means exactly what it says.

Word for word.

No more, no less.

How are you?

Where's your rosary?

I thought you'd have a rosary.

Is it true in prison

they called you Jesus Christ?

It happened quite suddenly.

When the governor said Mathilde

had been granted her divorce...

I lay down

and looked at my life...

and saw there was nothing.

The only thing I could do

was submit myself to God...

ask him to forgive me...

and help me face

my situation and He did.

I promise you He did.

Now you want us to love

each other in Jesus?

I want you to follow my example.

I hope you didn't think

I might be angry with you.

No.

You didn't know

I'd be put away so long.

I certainly forgave you for it.

- I didn't forgive you.

- What for?

For missing.

Tell me. Why did you come here?

I want you to find

some direction in your life.

I want God to help you

achieve your aims.

Aims? I have no aims.

- Your writing.

- I've stopped writing.

I don't understand.

Let me put it another way.

I no longer write.

Why not?

Because I have

nothing more to say.

If I ever had anything

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