Totem

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1

Take your marks!

All right, guys, smile.

Okay, cool.

Good.

Hey, you did great today.

Hey. Thanks.

Oh, I'm all sweaty.

You killed it out there.

I guess. Would have

been nice to win though.

Well, you got a trophy.

I got a medal.

So did two other girls.

Well, I'm allowed

to be proud of you, so.

Proud of me, too?

Yes, I am.

What for? You're a

very special person.

A very special snowflake.

That's right. A special snowflake.

Okay, what'll it be?

Your turn.

Well, you're the big

winner, you decide.

You know, you never choose. You

should get some say around here.

"Frozen"?

You know, if that's

how you want to spend your turn,

okay.

You will both be asleep

so soon, it won't matter.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That, lady, is BS.

Strikes midnight, all the

evil things in the world will arrive.

The stories are not always

pleasant or understandable.

Go safely, and leave some

of the happiness you bring.

Yeah, yeah.

Um...

Nope, inappropriate.

Why?

It's just one of those

society things, sis.

Go change.

Need any help? Uh, you

don't have time to help.

Go get dressed.

I don't know what

I'd do without you.

Good morning.

Uh...

What is it?

Nothing, no,

it's just...

Actually, I wanted to talk

to you guys about...

Oh, no.

What is it?

Not what. Her.

When?

When's she coming?

Next week.

I like her.

You do?

Look, I just

want you to be happy.

Me, too.

But can I just say one thing?

And it's about what's right for you,

so you just can't get mad at me.

Well, I reserve the right to get

mad, but you can say what you like.

I'd... I'd rather see you

with someone else.

Wow, now I am a little mad.

Wait, why?

Well, listen,

I mean, you get a vote,

but it's after the third

or fourth date,

you don't get one

a year and a half later.

I'm sorry, I just...

Listen, I play more

than fair with you.

I haven't had her

over here for sleepovers...

TMI!

That you know of, anyway.

Way TMI, Dad!

But I want... I want her

to be part of our lives.

Look, she could really

help you out around here.

You could be like

a real 17-year-old

instead of a superhero

17-year-old.

Well, I like superhero 17.

Penny for your thoughts.

I'm nervous, you know?

What are you talking about?

The girls love you.

Really?

Yes.

Really?

I just...

have this feeling that...

Look, it's gonna be

a shakeup, but...

I think that's a good thing.

I just don't want them to

associate me with disruption.

No, disruption, that's...

That's a good thing.

I mean, I need disruption.

I know, but she's seventeen.

I remember that age, I mean,

she's gonna have opinions.

Listen, if you're having second

thoughts, you got to tell me...

No, no, no... because I put the

deposit on the moving truck, and...

No.

I'm just... thinking out loud.

I think...

I'm gonna make

a good friend for them.

Wow. Wow, you are just...

You are such a toxic presence,

I don't know how

this is gonna work.

What?

I don't know.

What?

I can't understand you.

Oh, she'd be great.

No, she's nice.

What are you doing in there?

I won't tell anyone.

What are you...

What are you doing?

Talking.

Aren't you a little old

for imaginary friends?

I'm not tired anymore.

What do you mean?

You're not scared, are you?

No.

Then why can't you sleep?

Because.

Count some sheep

or something, all right?

It'll make my job easier.

You can do this.

I just... I wanna thank you girls

for letting me into your home

and your hearts.

I love your dad very much and...

I'm looking forward

to being your...

Mom?

Sister?

Maybe I could be a bit of both.

Uh... Momster.

Ooh. Now,

that has a ring to it.

What are you doing?

Well...

it's a new start, right?

She doesn't know

you were married?

What? No, of course

she does. I just...

You know, we want to

make her feel welcomed.

It's a new start

for me too, you know.

I don't remember her.

You know what?

She loved you very much.

Do you want to put that in your room?

Would that make you feel good?

Yeah?

Wow! It's up already?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you sure that it fits?

Yes! Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

Really?

Very much so.

We can do

a "Game of Thrones" thing.

Everybody's finally doing okay.

I've been trying so hard.

Don't worry.

I'll keep it that way.

Good stuff.

Make it all the way

through this one?

Can't blame me for trying.

Well, you know,

Abby's a little weird,

so if you need any help,

just let me know.

There's no book for her.

Thanks. That'd be great.

Wise men say

goodbye to yesterday

Oh, lighter.

Ah.

Yeah.

Ah!

When did this start?

You'll have to wait.

It's dinnertime.

Just the other day.

Hey, Abs, what's the deal?

Do you...

What's the deal?

Do you like her?

She eats a lot of green things.

I think imaginary friends

can actually be healthy.

Yeah. Not as healthy

as real ones.

Meh. Let her explore.

Did you just say "meh,"

like, phonetically?

Oh. Is that not

how you do it?

No, Momster,

it's Internet speak only.

Oh. Are you sure you're only 29?

Just different

interests, I guess.

Okay, here we go,

here we go, here we go.

First two.

Uh, I got a medium.

That's a medium.

Okay.

And medium rare.

Sesame seeds?

Uh, hemp seeds.

I run track.

They test, you know.

Oh, don't worry,

it won't show up.

And if it did,

weed never made anyone

run any faster.

It's okay, Kellie.

Um, it's got omega 3s.

Your dad loves it.

Yeah, load me up.

Yeah, um,

it adds an extra crunch.

I like it.

And your brain likes it, too.

I would like to propose a toast.

Um... to, um...

welcoming Robin into our home

and into our family.

Thank you. Cheers.

Jesus!

Are you okay?

Uh, I'm fine...

Um, could you grab me

a paper towel?

Y-Yeah.

Ahh.

I'm sorry.

Yikes.

Yeah, it's pretty deep.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

Mm.

It's never been this exciting.

Are you okay?

Hey! Jesus Christ,

you scared me!

You can't be here right now.

Wait, why not?

My dad's here.

He's never here on Tuesdays.

Well, now, she's here

and that's changed.

Well, that sucks.

Didn't you see the cars?

We have talked about this.

Oh, come on,

you know we're

more than friends.

How's that?

I can tell by the way

you look at me.

Look, they won't

hear anything, all right?

I mean, they're probably

going at it right now.

And you want to do it

in sync with them? Eww.

Besides, I don't... I don't

want to think of him that way.

Like, with another woman?

No. No, I mean,

no one wants to think

of their dad doing anything.

The seeds were stupid.

I should have asked

before putting them on.

No, you know

that's just not true.

She really liked them.

But it's my first night here,

and I'm messing with her food.

Not good.

I know I'm not their mom.

Kellie's obviously fine...

but... Abby...

Abby is so young.

There's so much

to protect her from.

What happened?

Someone slammed the window! Hey.

What? No one slammed

the window, it just fell.

Listen, I'll fix it later. It's

too cold to have it open right...

What is he doing here?

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