Traffik Page #3

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- All right, just hold on.

- Okay.

Just hold on.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Trust me!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Oh, my God!

(PANTING)

F*** you!

What a dick.

We're not playing

their games.

It was crazy.

BREA:
(EXHALES)

Good driving.

What happened?

A little problem, Red.

Billy tells me

you've been chasing

a couple of f***ing tourists

through the forest.

There's a schedule to keep.

So, if you're gonna go off

schedule, you tell me, okay?

If you don't understand

that, tell me now

before you cause me any more

f***ing problems, you hear me?

Billy, get them

to send the truck, okay?

Make sure the contact's

at the border.

Okay.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

Almost there.

And here we are.

My God.

(GASPS) Oh, my gosh...

(CHUCKLES)

JOHN:
Man.

I didn't expect this.

(LAUGHS)

Oh! It's magnificent.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Wow.

I love it.

This is amazing.

I can't wait

to see inside.

Go check it out.

- Meet you in there.

- Okay.

Man, D came through.

(GASPS)

Wow.

Hmm.

What she pack in here?

(GRUNTS)

My gosh.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLES)

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

Oh.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES)

This is crazy.

BREA:
Sorry about

last night.

This is incredible.

There's, like, nobody here.

Look at this, it's unreal.

You never cease to amaze me.

A car, and then this?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- Okay. You get the wine.

- I'll get the wine.

And I'll get the pool warm

- and ready for us.

- Okay. Okay. Okay.

- What do you think? Yeah?

- All right.

(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH LAUGH)

- Hey.

- Mmm.

It got chilly out here.

You know, right?

It's okay, baby.

- You do know, don't you?

- Mmm-hmm.

You show me.

Why do you put up with me?

Because I love you.

Oh, you are...

- (CHUCKLES)

- Come now. Come on.

I love you.

I know you do, baby.

I love you, too.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you.

Now this means

we can do this right here.

(CAR APPROACHING)

- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)

- That's weird.

Did you order food?

No.

Maybe it's the neighbors here.

- I'm gonna go check.

- Okay.

What the hell?

(DOOR OPENS)

John?

Brea.

Darren. What are you

doing here?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...

- What the hell is this?

- I... (STAMMERS)

- (STAMMERS)

- Are you kidding me?

DARREN:
What can I say?

- Ooh!

- BREA:
Hi, Malia.

I did not know you guys

were coming. I'm sorry.

MALIA:
Well, I tried

to talk him out of this,

but he said

that you said it was okay.

- It was okay, right?

- No.

What? Are you kidding me?

- Oh, my God, Darren!

- DARREN:
Maybe I forgot.

That's fine. I'm always

happy to see you.

Don't be silly.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

You look beautiful.

I need a bathroom.

You know why.

Sour face. Relax.

- Darren, for real?

- I'm gonna change.

- JOHN:
Put some clothes on.

- It's a celebration.

BREA:
Ugh. I didn't know

you were coming.

I was celebrating the couple.

Come on. Lighten up.

What are you doing here?

I told you

I was coming up, right?

You said tomorrow.

You couldn't call?

Okay. Tomorrow, today.

I tried calling.

It went to voicemail.

We're in the mountains.

Anyway, the real question

is, did she say yes?

I don't know, 'cause I ain't

get the chance to ask her.

Thanks for ruining

the moment.

You haven't

asked her yet?

Did you hear

what I just said?

Well, apparently

by the look of your girl,

you did something.

(LAUGHING)

Bruh, you know how many girls

I've smashed in that pool?

(WHISPERS) A lot.

Bruh, you can't front.

I hooked you up.

I appreciate that, too, man.

It's just...

You don't have to say

all that, man.

It's incredible but just...

Just look. Look.

I'm trying

to create a moment.

I wanna give her something

she could remember

for the rest of her life,

that's all.

So, just please...

Enough said.

We'll get out your way.

Tomorrow, we'll go into town.

Leave you alone.

You handle your business,

and then when you're done,

just let me know and we'll

celebrate together.

That cool?

- All right.

- All right. Man.

It's a crazy ass

day anyway.

Why? What happened?

Anyway, so how was

your drive up here, guys?

Uneventful

compared to y'all's sh*t.

- MALIA:
Mmm-hmm.

- Oh, did you hear it?

- DARREN:
Man.

- We're like Bonnie and Clyde.

We are not to be

f***ing toyed with.

I'm saying.

It's sh*t. Wow.

DARREN:
Yeah. So, you know, what

do you think about the pool?

Well, I quite like

the pool.

DARREN:
And,

just so you know...

- Mmm-hmm?

- It's a saltwater pool,

so your pH, it keeps

everything right.

That is really good to know.

You know what, Darren?

You are always so full of

helpful, healthy information.

So full of sh*t.

DARREN:
I'm just trying to help.

I'm just trying to help.

You know the only thing

I hate about this place?

- No reception. I'mma use the landline.

- Yes, I noticed that.

I'll be back, all right,

y'all? Save me an egg roll.

- I'll try.

- JOHN:
Give me his egg roll.

DT. What's up, champ?

What's going on

with you, man?

- You must think I'm some...

- BREA:
Okay.

- MALIA:
So, what's new?

- I love you.

No, no, no, no.

Hold on, hold.

DT:
You f***ed up, man.

We've been rocking since you

graduated from college, bro.

You... I'm on

vacation right now.

I will leave right now.

I'll come right into the city.

We can talk about this.

Let's just talk about

this man to man.

- Just face it.

- No, this is me hanging up.

- Hello?

- MALIA:
Oh, my goodness.

Hello?

(DIAL TONE BEEPING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

JOHN:
I agree.

BREA:
Keep me at bay.

I'm just...

(SNIFFING)

- Sh*t, it's amazing.

- Little weird.

So silly.

Everything good?

Everything's fine.

(SNIFFING)

An athlete gets arrested,

story of my life.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

From now on, I'm just

gonna represent women.

When's the last time you heard of Venus

and Serena getting locked up, hmm?

(LAUGHING) That's...

That's a good point.

- Right?

- JOHN:
Yeah.

- DARREN:
F*** that, man.

- JOHN:
Yeah.

- BREA:
Men, huh?

- A bunch of f***ing divas.

Some men just can't help

but act like boys.

It's like Peter Pan

syndrome or something.

(JOHN LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

John, get your girl, bruh.

- "Get your girl"?

- John, get your girl.

Hey, when she's right,

she's right.

(MOCKINGLY) "When she's

right, she's right."

- You are...

- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Babe, your phone's ringing.

You guys get reception

out here?

- It's not ours.

- That's not my phone.

My phone's right there.

No, it's coming

from your purse.

BREA:
I'll go look.

Maybe it's in the couch or

something from a former guest.

Let's see.

(CLEARS THROAT) Your girl

got two phones, bruh.

- That ain't good.

- JOHN:
Stop it.

- DARREN:
Just saying.

- JOHN:
Stop it.

Little side nigga action...

(CHUCKLING)

Babe, this is not my phone.

Hmm?

- Whose is it?

- BREA:
It's a satellite phone.

I used one of these when I was

out doing a piece in Panama.

How did this get

in my purse?

This is crazy.

That's strange.

BREA:
Somebody come in

the house? I can't even...

This is the strangest thing.

Wait.

Babe, that girl.

Okay. Hello? What girl?

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