Training Day Page #2

- Yeah!

- Then don't come down here.

I see you down here again,

I'll make you walk home.

I'll let the homeboys run

a train on her. Know what that is?

Yes, sir.

All right, gentlemen.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Let's go. Safe your iron, son.

Sh*t!

I like that sh*t.

I like how you move.

You were trained well.

Check that out. It's a bad dime.

See the hairs, undeveloped seeds.

You see how immature it is.

That's classic Mexican garbage.

Let me see. It's old.

Probably last year's.

To be truly effective...

...a good narcotics agent

must know and love narcotics.

A good narcotics agent should have...

...narcotics in his blood.

- What, you gonna smoke that?

- No, you are.

- Hell if I am!

- Yes.

- You're not?

- No.

- Why? You a Mormon?

- I'm not losing my job.

This is your job.

- Smoke it.

- No.

This ain't a test. Take a hit.

Listen, I became a cop

to stop people from using...

- That ain't cocaine. Take a hit.

- No, man.

- Jesus Christ!

- Yeah, right.

If I was a dealer, you'd be dead!

Turn sh*t down out here,

and your wife gets a flag.

What's wrong with you?

You know what?

I don't want you in my unit.

Get the f*** out of my car, rookie.

Poo butt-ass.

- What's the holdup?

- Move it!

Give me that thing.

I'll smoke it. Give it to me.

You want me to, I'll smoke it.

Virgin lungs. Man up now.

Man up, n*gger. Man up.

Go ahead. Get it.

- Come on!

- Shut the f*** up and just wait!

- Man the f*** up! Finish that sh*t!

- Geronimo.

Let's go, n*gger. Let's go.

Oh, sh*t!

You okay, kid?

That's a man size hit you took.

When's the last time you smoked weed?

The last... Twelfth grade.

We were...

- Well, we were...

- Smoking weed.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Left that out of your service jacket.

I know you got secrets.

Everybody got secrets.

- Didn't know you liked it wet, though.

- What's wet?

Butt-naked. Ill. Sherm. Dust.

PCP. Primos. P-dog.

That's what you had.

You couldn't taste it?

- I never done it.

- I haven't, but you have now.

Sh*t!

Sh*t. I'll get piss-tested,

and I'll get fired.

The boss has our back.

We know before we piss.

- Sh*t!

- Boom!

Why did you do this?

You're an adult.

Nobody made you smoke.

You made a decision. Live with it.

Not like I put a gun to your head.

Man...

- Oh, man, sh*t.

- Come on, get your sh*t together now.

This is my dog's house.

We'll see what he thinks of you.

- Get your ass in here!

- Roger, what's up?

- How are they treating you?

- All right.

- I didn't wake you up?

- I never sleep.

Right. This my new guy, Jake.

Come on. Get in here.

Yeah. Time to get my swerve on here!

- What you drinking?

- The best.

The best, I know. Best for the best.

I heard about Vegas.

Got a green light on your ass.

No problem.

Russians want you. I got your back.

I know that. Thank you.

Here. Get that medicine up in you.

- Back to the world.

- Back to the world.

Went and got yourself

a daisy-fresh rookie.

He's high as a motherf***er.

What did you give him?

- A little of Mexico's finest.

- Yeah.

Garbage.

- Where'd you grow up?

- North Hollywood.

- What's your last name?

- Hoyt.

Hoyt. Hoyt...

- Strong safety, North Hollywood High.

- Right.

- How'd you know that?

- How did you?

- I follow all the good players.

- No doubt.

Excuse me. Sh*t.

- Strong safety, huh?

- It's me. What's up?

I can't do anything.

Clean up your own mess. Don't call me.

Hey! Here's a joke, boy.

Man walks out of his house,

sees this snail lying on his porch.

So he picks it up,

chucks it into the backyard.

Snail bounces off a rock,

busts its shell up all to sh*t...

...lands in the grass.

Snail lies there dying.

But...

...snail doesn't die.

Soon it can crawl again.

And one day...

...snail heads back

to the front of the house.

Finally, after about a year...

...the little guy crawls

back on the porch.

Right then the man walks

out of his house...

...sees this snail again.

So he looks at it...

...and he says:

"The f***'s your problem?"

That's not funny.

What you laughing for then?

- I don't know, man. L...

- Hey!

Figure that joke out,

you'll figure the streets out.

Nothing to figure out.

It's senseless bullshit.

- You know... I already figured it out.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- You already figured the streets out?

Well, it's all about smiles and cries.

- Put the drink down. What is that?

- Hold on!

Hold on. Smiles and cries.

Smiles and cries.

Smiles and cries. I hear you.

Yeah, you gotta control

your smiles and cries...

...because that's all you have,

and nobody can take that away.

Oh, sh*t.

What you think, dog? Think this

greenhorn can handle undercover?

You were just like him.

Same silly-ass look and everything.

Saving the goddamn world.

Now that's some smiles

and cries for your ass!

- That was you.

- Sh*t lasted a week.

Gotta get back to it.

Thanks for the snort.

- Good to see you.

- Yeah.

Yes, sir. What you doing later?

Stay home. Save some cheddar.

My dream's less than a year away.

Philippine Islands, here I come.

- Let me go too.

- You're invited.

Hey. Open your eyes, man.

You'll feel a lot better.

Boom! Come on, man. Sit your ass up.

Who are you?

I'm the Zig-Zag man. Who are you?

- I'm a cop. Watch out!

- Don't shoot nobody.

Get that beer in you for ballast.

- No, man.

- Get it in you. You'll feel better.

Stop the car!

Stop the car! I saw something!

- Just relax.

- Stop!

All right! Hold the f*** on... Hey!

F*** me, man! Sh*t.

Police officer!

Get away from the girl!

- I'm gonna f*** you too, cop!

- Get the...

We didn't do sh*t! B*tch is crazy!

Roll over, man. Roll the f*** over!

F***ing ass prick!

My n*gger!

Go ahead, cowboy,

you got mad squabbles.

- Thanks for the help.

- You should've shot them.

What's happening?

- You're dead!

- Okay! Wait! Hold it!

- You too, white boy!

- Okay...

- My cousins will blast you fools!

- Calm down.

- Calm down. You okay?

- No, I'm not!

- Look at my nose!

- I see it.

Put ice on it. You'll be fine.

What're you doing here?

- I was just...

- They probably got AIDS.

Why you not at school?

I was going to a ditch party and...

You almost became the ditch party.

- Where your cousins from?

- Hillside Trece!

- Remember that!

- Tell your cousins to get your back.

Grab your bag and go home now.

- No! I need a statement...

- Don't need no statement.

- They'll f*** you up.

- We gonna let them go?

You wanna beat them up, go ahead.

I got a punching bag at home.

They should be off the streets.

You hear that?

- Wanna go home or to jail?

- What you think?

Got room at the booty house.

You been there?

- You'll grab your ankles.

- Suck my dick!

- I know people.

- That's how it starts.

What about you? What you got?

- Got nothing?

- No.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Where's your horn?

- Got none.

You got money, though.

You lied to me!

Lucky I don't make you eat that.

Stand up, you. Stand the f*** up!

Yeah. Oh, sh*t, huh?

Rate this script:3.5 / 4 votes