Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Lovingly and VERY difficultly

cooked by Bakemstr

We were once a peaceful race

of intelligent mechanical beings.

But then came the war.

Between the autobots who fought for freedom,

.. and the decepticons who dreamt of tyranny.

Over matched, and out numbered.

Our defeat was all but certain.

But in the wars final days.

One autobot ship escaped the battle.

It was carrying a secret cargo.

Which would have changed our planets fate.

A desperate mission.

Our final hope.

A hope, that vanished.

VLA Radio Observatory - New Mexico, 1961

Move it there.

Move it there,

one more down there.

Whatcha got?

Impact detected.

We have impact confirmed.

Contacted.

- 22:
50 GMT. - What? NASA

DIRECTOR - LANGLEY, VIRGINIA

Give me SEC-DEV on the phone right away.

Mr. McNamara, the President is expecting you.

- Get Bobby in here.

- Mr. President

Designation, top secret.

We believe a UFO has crashed into the moon.

We think the Russians are on to it as well.

Well then you tell NASA to move heaven and earth.

We need to get to the moon.

We're going to attempt a manned mission.

NASA said it would take five years.

You get there before the Russians.

I believe that this nation should commit itself.

To achieving the goal.

- Fifteen seconds.

- Before this decade is out.

Of landing a man on the moon.

And returning him safely to the earth.

Ignition sequence starts

Five... Four... three...

two... one.

And ignition.

Lift off, we have a lift off.

Thirty two minutes past the hour.

Lift off on Apollo 11, tower three.

Apollo 11 is on the way.

Riding that pillar of flame

from the Saturn five.

Out there 250,000 miles away.

Where the moon is waiting for man's first arrival.

Houston you're a go for landing, over.

Picking up some dust.

Thirty feet, two and a half down.

Four Forward. Drifting to the right a little.

Contact light.

Okay, engine stop.

Houston, tranquility base here,

The Eagle has landed.

You got a bunch of guys about to

turn blue. We're breathing again.

Perhaps 400 million persons are

watching this broadcast today.

Of the greatest event in our time.

And one of the great events

of all recorded history.

I'm at the foot of the ladder.

I'm going to step on to land now.

That's one small step for man,

one giant leap for mankind.

- Are we good?

- Yes sir.

Unofficial time on the first step 1092...

Eagle we're getting a signal interference.

Do you copy?

We now have a confirmation.

Loss of signal from Apollo 11.

The Apollo 11 is for the moment,

on the far side of the moon.

Neil, you are dark on the rock.

Mission is a go.

You have 21 minutes.

Please stand by, 18-45 seconds and counting.

My god.

It's some sort of giant metal face.

Jesus.

Control, we are inside the ship.

Extensive damage.

Way to big to check the entire ship.

Everything is dead in here, Houston.

No signs of life anywhere.

This things a mess.

We copy.

You got seven minutes on your oxygen.

We are not alone after all, are we.

No, sir.

We're not alone.

All right, go ahead Mr. President.

Hello, Neil, Buzz.

I'm talking to you by telephone from

the oval room at the White House.

And this certainly has to be the

most historic telephone call ever made.

I just can't tell you how proud we all are.

For every American, this has

to be the proudest day of our lives.

Because of what you have done

We have splashed down.

The heavens has become a part of man's world.

For one priceless moment.

In all of history of man.

All the people on this earth are truly one.

Along with their pride in which you have done.

You've inspired us to redouble our efforts,

to bring peace and tranquility to Earth.

My hero,

needs to wake up.

What is that?

This is your new lucky bunny.

Yeah, it's a beautiful thought, Carly.

But I don't think it's the whole, uh, bunny that's lucky.

You see it's just this section here.

You see it's just the rabbit's foot that's lucky.

All right, it's just a good luck charm.

Hmm, help you think positive.

Today's important.

Come on, get up.

- Hey, wear that nice tie.

- Yeah.

You need any money for lunch?

No, I don't need any money for lunch.

I have money from yesterday's lunch.

You love it, don't you.

I'm just your American boy-toy.

A lover boy-toy.

You how demoralizing it is to save the world twice,

to be groveling for a job.

They don't know you saved the world, Sam.

I mean I do, I believe you.

If everyone knows, I could get a job right here in D.C.

I mean I should be working with the autobots.

Otherwise, it's not fair.

Come on, they paid for your college.

The president gave you a hero medal.

Thank you, man. Great job.

- Wow.

- And as I recall that wasn't even the highlight of your day.

- Mr. Ambassador, here.

- British embassy you're up next.

- It's not really.. I couldn't even if I wanted to.

- Leave it there.

Leave it in the box, right.

You keep it in there, what a gorgeous box.

Oh yeah, my medal.

You know who gave that to me?

Who?

- POTUS.

- Oh.

The president of the United States.

Hey, it's hard for everybody to get a job.

I don't have time. You see my parents

are going to be here in a week.

From their road-trip party world tour.

My dad gets here, and I don't have a job.

He's gonna spank me you know.

It's go time for me.

All right, tonight I'll give you a job.

Romance me with a nice dinner and, uh...

maybe get that banish.

Ohh

- Good looking.

- Get out of here.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, he's gross.

She's good.

They've been stranded here.

Somebody's got to watch out...

- ... for them, you know.

- Yesterday that one was in my underwear drawer.

Good reason, it looked real good too.

- What are you hitting, huh?

- I want a normal boyfriend.

- That's what you love about me, isn't it.

- Heh, what a cry baby.

You know I don't have the word yet.

Maybe a little bit closer when

you can pay your half of the rent.

Bye.

Frinking shorting my circuits out here.

It's inhumane, what it is.

Make us live in a box on a balcony.

Right next to a beast.

- Like a common animal.

- Stop, okay.

You and your creepy sidekick, you

can't be in here without permission.

According to who, Miss blondy-blonde?

Get out little doggie.

Hah!

Yo brain's what's up?

Doing good.

Ah shoot, I'd seen this one.

It's the one where Spock goes nuts.

You know Sam, I don't know

about moving in with this chick.

Uh, what if she dumps us like the last girl?

What she was mean, didn't like her.

Us guys got to stick together.

No, we're not family.

You're a political refuge.

And I have finally found someone

who appreciates me for me.

Well you tell her that we're not your pets.

And we're not your toys.

All right, we're an advanced genius alien race,

...just looking for a home.

- We could leave it right here.

- Didn't think we should stop.

Come on what are they going to do, tow it?

Where is he?

Sammy!

- Oh, come on now Sammy, ha, ha.

- Sam.

I miss you guys so much.

Sure you did, what do you think?

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