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CHEEKY!

Moira.

- Are you Italian?

- Venetian, how did you know?

I was married to an Italian

and you speak English like him.

Are you looking for a house?

More than anything a little apartment,

inexpensive though.

I need it for four weeks.

In what area?

Close to the Hyatt Park Hotel

if possible.

I work there. I'm doing an internship

as a receptionist

and right now I'm living

in a very small room.

And it doesn't work for you.

Yes, it's fine, but in 10 days

my boytriend will be coming for a full

immersion course in English and...

Fiance?

A little bit...

I understand...

Basically you are looking for a room

for a sexual full immersion course...

I wish...

I believe I might be able

to help you...

Not in the area

that you want though...

- Ah, no?

- No.

Where then?

Follow me, I'll show you.

We are in Chelsea and your hotel

is here, in Nates Bridge.

I have a loft on the Thames,

right where the docs are.

It's not too far

from the Hyatt Park Hotel.

With the metro you can get

there very quickly.

Where is it exactly...

- Oh?

- Here...

What happened?

Did you get an electric shock?

No, my nipples are rather sensitive...

He is a lucky man.

What's his name?

Who?

The boy that is going

to meet you in London.

- Matteo.

- It's too bad he's coming...

You could have stayed

at my place for free.

Since I got separated,

there's much more space there.

Can we go and check it out?

Yes, but not today,

I'm the only one at the agency.

How much is it?

It depends on you...

Does he kiss them well at least?

He's not bad at all.

Men don't know anything

about what women like.

Oh, but Matteo, really...

Bullshit, they're all the same

and they only think

of what makes them happy.

No Moira, please...

Why not, I know you like it...

Tell the truth you little piglet,

in Venice also, you walk around

without your panties?

Oh, I am a little allergic...

You are humid like your city...

Ah.

Stop it Moira, please.

I don't want to...

Liar.

So, I'll see you tomorrow

to go see the loft?

All right, at what time?

At 10 o'clock here...

By the way, what is your name?

Carla Borin.

Carla, nice name...

Carla the Venetian.

Thank you.

See you tomorrow.

These designers are so boring...

You know what I think

when I see all these curves?

You don't have to tell me.

A nice f***, that's what we need

to feel relaxed before the exam.

You can always masturbate...

Already done, my friend,

already done,

thinking of that slut, Giulia...

I get a hard on right away.

- Giulia who? Paolo's girlfriend?

- Paolo's girlfriend officially,

but in practice,

everybody's girlfriend.

I don't believe it, does Paolo know?

He is the only one

who doesn't know,

or at least that's what he makes you

believe. Tell the truth Matteo,

- you've thought about Giulia, too.

- That's bullshit, I only think of Carla.

Even when you masturbate?

Especially when I masturbate.

Really?

And what do you think about?

Regular stuff...

Naked.

I am on bottom

and she's on top.

Sh*t, you really don't have

any imagination.

I thought you were at least

imagining her doggie style

with an English guy.

Why should I think of her

with some other guy?

Well, when there is no sex

for a while...

How long has it been

since Carla is in London?

About a... month.

And you think that someone

can go one month without f***ing?

You're obsessed with sex.

It's not like that

for women, you know?

Feelings come first for them.

Bullshit, they are just better liars,

and they know how to fake it better.

They too get wet first

and then they fall in love.

Stop it, come on.

- Not all of them, come on.

- All of them.

All of them.

That's why I like them so much,

because they are all whores.

- Hello?

- Hi, my love, it's me.

Carla.

Are you happy to hear from me?

Yes, of course, very happy.

Why are you calling?

Oh well, because I miss you,

what's going on?

- You sound weird...

- No, no, I just wasn't expecting this call.

How is London?

Oh it's beautiful,

you should see... Ah.

What's going on?

Nothing.

I'm staying in shape for you.

I am doing the bike exercises...

Oh Matteo, I can't wait

for you to come here.

I'll be there soon.

Did you find the apartment?

That's why I'm calling.

Tomorrow I am going to see

one on the Thames.

On the Thames?

It must be expensive.

Well, Moira is going to give me

a pretty good deal... Ah.

Who is Moira?

The owner of the real estate agency...

I think she really likes me.

What do you mean,

she really likes you?

Well, I think she is a lesbian,

and she wants to sleep with me.

She wants to sleep with you?

Are you crazy Carla?

No, I'm just lusting...

- Matteo, can you hear me?

- Yes I can hear you.

Did she try already?

No, no, but come here soon,

I'm tired of being alone.

Swear to me that nothing happened.

Oh Matteo, you are boring.

You know that without you

sex doesn't exist for me.

So why do you think

that she wants to sleep with you?

Well, you know how it goes.

Some things can be understood

between women...

Are you telling me

the truth, Carla?

Of course, silly...

Listen, do me a favor:

Before you leave,

go to my place

and ask my mom to give you my panties,

the ones with the butterfly,

and the book

on dream interpretation.

Although the interpretation

of every dream is always coitus,

I miss that book.

Do you miss me?

Well you can always be replaced...

Maybe with Moira.

Tell me the truth, Carla.

Did you two already do something?

The phone card is almost empty,

come Matteo.

Please, come soon.

I need you.

Oh...

Speak of the devil...

Screw you.

Do you know that statistically speaking,

cheat while they're on vacation?

Carla is not in vacation.

Is it here?

No, we can only

get up to here by taxi,

but the entrance

is on Riverside walk.

Wow, it's so beautiful.

I'm glad you like it.

The bathroom is over there.

I am sure Matteo will like it.

It's probably

very expensive, though...

Matteo?

Oh, yes, your boytriend...

Well don't worry about the price,

I am sure we can find

an agreement...

I'll take it then.

I dreamt of you last night...

Oh really?

You were naked.

Really?

And what was I doing naked?

You were riding a wave

and sweating...

Freud will definitely say: coitus.

I like you Carla.

Oh, what are you doing?

- I want you.

- No Moira, please. Oh.

Why not, I know you like it.

- Don't resist me Carla, don't fight it.

- Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Oh. Make me come.

Oh. Make me come, Moira, please.

Make me come.

Who is it?

Good Morning, Mr. Borin,

it's me, Matteo.

I'm sorry to bug you.

I came to pick up Carla's stuff.

I'm going to London next week,

- and this way I can bring it to her.

- What stuff?

Well, she told me

she explained it to her mom.

My wife is not here right now.

Do you know what it is about?

Well, yes, more or less...

A pair of panties and a book.

Wait a second. I am going to see

if my wife prepared them for you.

"The more I wank it,

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