Traumulus

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A film based on the tragicomedy by

Bakery and Confectionery

Now we have to hide the ladder.

-Man, it's almost 6! -Shhhh!

What's that? Quiet!

How was it, anyway? Do tell!

Hans, you may be my best

friend, but you wouldn't understand.

Why not?

-I don't understand it myself.

What is there to understand?

-Shut your mouth!

Oh, I have met a person, Mettke!

A person... -I know, I know, like

no other person on earth.

An old story. Say, is she pretty? Is

she blond? Huh?

Both. I'm going to get engaged to her.

Wha... What?! That's too much!

Who is she?

-Miss Link.

What, the actress?

-Yes.

Say, you have gone completely bonkers.

What's your father going to say?

Your whole family!

I told you you wouldn't understand.

We'll see.

Anyway, you Zedtlitzes already had an

unpleasant reputation in the Middle Ages.

Get up!

Guys, I'm looking forward to

the Easter vacation.

Tell us, Klausing, is Olga so slim, or

did she just tie her waist tight?

Hey, she's very much in love.

-You see?

Yeah, just recently, when she brought

soup, she leaned against me, I tell you!

Hey, who stole my shaving brush?

What are you doing?

-Every decent person shaves on Sunday.

Last Christmas I got

a pair of shiny boots.

Mettke just told me something amazing!

Zedtlitz was there the whole night.

...engaged to her right away.

-Yeah!

He's a gentleman. He can't

stay celibate much longer.

To whom is he engaged, anyway?

-Yeah, to whom?

To Lydia Link. -What, the actress?

-A Hungarian chick.

Boys, we'll serenade him.

-Oh, yeah!

And? You're still sitting here.

Have you been having nice dreams?

I didn't sleep at all.

We congratulate! We congratulate!

We congratulate!

The Niemeyer alumni, on whose behalf

I have the honour of speaking,

are proud to wish their eldest roommate,

von Zedtlitz, the best of luck in advance,

for his upcoming engagement to Lydia

Link, Germany's most famous dramatic

actress, and herewith

to hand over gifts.

But gentlemen, what are you doing?

This is not acceptable!

You're spraying water everywhere.

No, no, no!

My dear von Zedtlitz, I'll have to

report this. -Are you serious, Schimke?

But you can't expect me to let this pass.

I mean, what happened last night...

Well, I don't like to do it, but

I'm an old soldier. Duty is duty.

Yes, but boys, I might

get the blame for it.

I was involved in 1870-71, but such

things? No, no... -Yes, that's true.

No! No, your confession...

-Come on, take it.

No, your confession is irrevocable.

No, I'm just doing my duty.

-That's all right, Schimke. -Ok then.

Mr. Schimke! -What is it, my child?

-There's a coin here. Did you lose it?

What, a coin?

Oh God, once again my wife forgot

to sew the hole in my pocket!

Well, gentlemen, tomorrow morning,

11:
20, arrival of His Majesty.

Welcomed by the head of the

administration. Honour guard salute.

Drive past the cheering masses.

At 1 o'clock, breakfast at city hall,

at the same time as on the town square,

where they will unveil the monument

of Kaiser Wilhelm the 1st at 3 o'clock, in

the presence of his noble grandchildren,

and His Majesty, Kaiser Wilhelm the 2nd.

Cheers! -Cheers!

Major, this visit might be a damned heavy

blow to the pinkos of our city, no?

Thank God, the pinko gentlemen

were unsuccessful at

sabotaging the construction

of the memorial to the Kaiser.

Tell me, dear assessor, how many Social

Democrats do we have in our city?

78, Health Officer. 78!

-Terrible!

It's becoming rampant.

-You know every one by name.

What has me concerned is this endless

pageant of Professor Niemeyer,

which will be displayed tomorrow

in front of His Majesty.

Listen up. Professor Niemeyer has cut his

pageant to accommodate the ceremony.

Our headmaster always shows

the most selfless generosity. -Yes!

He's a fine man, a noble man. My

sons are very pleased with him.

Yes, your nephews too!

If only it were dependent on

the senior class.

But the high government.

And the stern county commissioner.

-Yes, yes, sadly I have noticed

that there seem to be certain small

tensions between the two gentlemen.

Tensions? Tensions are good.

You favour discreet phrasing, yes?

But it's high regrettable, no? A man

with such a charming wife should

be without rival. -Precisely an old

Prussian like our county commissioner.

He has a damned sense of beauty!

Maybe it vexes you that such a mossy

old Greek teacher snagged

himself such a swift little antelope.

Antelope... -I-I must say the

headmaster's is simply a sexy woman.

Fabulous.

Please, I assure you. I've only once

had the pleasure of meeting his wife.

It was at our last Sederer Ball.

Wonderful.

Very nice, madam.

And what madam feared...

...is not there.

-Do you really think so?

Yes. May I take this opportunity to

remind of the bill from summer, madam?

I mean, suppliers don't like to wait.

Are you starting with that

too, Ms. Wetterhahn? Huh?

Send me the bill tomorrow, by mail.

No, no, no, miss, this is too much!

This is the fourth time I have

come for nothing.

Your students pay on time, after all,

and I'm always supposed to wait.

Well, what can I do about it? Do you

think I eat the 50 buns myself?

Oh, no, no.

-What's going on here?

Hahaha, um... oh, miss,

that's wonderful, it is.

Yes, take a look, honourable

Mrs. Headmaster,

ultimately, I want to see a little money,

too. I mean, otherwise I can't

deliver the goods anymore.

-Well, then we'll just go to Moldenhauer.

Oh, I... -You're ultimately not the

only baker in the world.

Oh, Mrs. Headmaster, that's just a joke.

-Do you want me not to enjoy your

triple buns?

-I say! My triple buns? Madam...

Mr. Schladebach, today is a holiday.

I told you once. Come back tomorrow.

But tomorrow, Mrs. Headmaster, is also a

holiday. Here it's always a holiday.

Goodbye, Mr. Schladebach. See you tomorrow.

-But, Mrs. Headmaster... -I assume you

will give me the pleasure of a visit...

-Yes, naturally, but can't you give me

just a little bit?

-Goodbye, Mr. Schladebach.

Look, Olga, can you see to it that these

people with the endless bills don't

get in the way of the professor. Where

is Fritz? -I've gone to the young man's

room three times, but... -And?

-...the young man doesn't want coffee.

He'd rather have two Aspirin.

Don't you want to finally get ready?

-If it could be avoided in any way, no.

Your father will be back from church any

minute, so kindly hurry up.

Don't you have some pickled

herring or a small light beer?

Do you have to go there every night? -What

am I supposed to do? One can go crazy here.

Luckily, the semester begins soon.

Golly! It's very beneficial.

-Very easy. Just a little change.

If my old man ever finds out about your

deficit balance, then I wouldn't want to

be my stepmother.

-Don't get fresh!

Oh, don't be like that.

-If I got into debt because of you...

Because of me? That's rich. But if you

are, you can give me a hundred marks, huh?

I just gave you 30 marks last Sunday.

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