Treasure Hounds Page #5

in the primordial

slime compared to me.

And why must we reside

in this shoddy pup tent?

We're on a covert

mission, Gunther.

The tent is the best way to

hide without being detected.

[doorbell rings]

That must be our pizza.

- You got thin crust, right?

- Of course. I'm not a savage.

- Mama!

- Gunther.

- Oh, and you must be Ronnie.

- That's me, I'm Ronnie.

- Come to me, Ronnie!

- Uh, ok.

- Mmmm.

- Okay, alright.

- Yeah, uh-huh.

- Do you know who I am?

Uh, the lady what

hired me for this job?

Ya!

And I am also your mother.

- What?!

- Ya.

Gunther, this is your

American step-brother.

From when I lived in New Jersey.

I had to give him up for adoption

when I had to flee the country.

The FBI, the CIA, and Walmart

security were after me.

- I had to run.

- Well, yeah.

[soft guitar music]

Oh, my brother

Something has been

missing in my life

Now you're here I can

finally see the light

Oh, my brother,

my best friend

I'll always

be there for you

[farting]

I'll always

be there for you

Right 'til the end

My brother!

OK, yeah.

[grunting]

Wow.

This is a lot to process.

Come here, bro!

Oh, it's so much fun!

I can see my house.

Could you at least

let me look at the book

until we get back to your place?

I'm not crossing your mom.

If she told my parents

what I did I'll be dead.

So what happened

to you and Twyla?

You used to be best friends.

Yeah, when we were little.

And then I got into

clothes and make-up

and she got into weird

clothes and freaky make-up.

But you used to have

so much in common,

like pretending to be

pirates and the art of mime.

Shut up. She did not show you

that video, did she?

Your stuck in a box

trick was amazing.

Really. It moved me.

Yeah, we thought we were

gonna be world famous mimes.

Doesn't every kid?

So, what about you?

You really think you're gonna

find some old Spanish treasure

hidden by your grandpappy?

It's Grandpops, and yes, I do.

Well, you know that's

impossible, right?

No, it's not. Why do you think

those guys came after us?

Um, ever heard

of security guards?

You know what your problem is?

You have no imagination.

Whatever.

You only care about

hair and clothes.

And that's it.

And that's boring.

Yeah? Well at least

I'm not delusional.

Well, at least my best

friend isn't make-up.

Well, at least my

best friend isn't a dog!

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah!

Well, at least I'm

not a terrible mime!

Grandpops Cragmore hid that

treasure from me for 30 years.

Once he passed away...

Not now, sweetie.

...and I found his obituary

online, I knew where to look.

Tell me, did you find the box?

No, but his grandkid did.

There was a movie

in it with a clue! A book!

- Did you obtain the book?

- No.

That sniveling cretin

of a boy has it!

We shall get that book, mama.

I will start a campaign

of surveillance,

infiltration, and extraction,

and steal that book right from

under that boy's

snotty little nose!

Nein, nein.

There's a better way.

Yeah, Ma's got a better way.

Wait, you're

calling her Ma now?

What?

I call you bro.

Bro.

[speaks German]

I cannot believe

I have a brother!

[laughing]

Shut up, dummkopfs.

Let me think.

- You got anything?

- Ma?

- How about now?

- Anything?

- How about now?

- Now?

How about now?

You want a thinking marshmallow?

- Not now, sweetie.

- Ow.

[rooster crows]

Fred? Fred?

Hey, Fred.

Are you actually

talking to me?

Yeah, you're the

only Fred around here.

Well, Fred Bellson's

over there.

[grunts]

What I meant to say was,

why are you talking to me?

- You hate me.

- OK, I don't hate you, Fred.

I just, I have cool friends

who rag on me when I,

- you know, talk to...

- Nerds?

Yeah, like my old friends.

Anyway, I'm trying

to get a hold of Jack

but I don't think he'll

talk to me anymore

and I don't even know how

to approach Twyla, so...

What's up?

OK, remember that book that you

guys stole from the store?

Oh, you kept it.

That's amazing!

- That's great...

- No, I didn't.

I returned it to the store.

I'm a good person.

Oh, man.

This dream's totally over.

We could have saved the

whole town with that book.

- Really?

- That's what Twyla and I were hoping.

I'm not so sure

about Jack, though.

Well, I was looking

through it last night.

I noticed something.

See?

- Let's go tell the others.

- OK.

[Fred] Hey, what about me?

- Not you!

- Oh.

[sighs]

[door opens]

[Fred] Jack?

You down here?

What're you guys doing here?

[Twyla] I wish I knew.

OK, you guys need to see this.

Jennifer found

something in that book.

- What, fashion tips?

- [Skipper] Ooh.

Oh, shut up,

mistress of the dark.

- Oh, that's a burn.

- At least I'm not an illiterate princess.

- Oh, that's a double burn!

- Why are you such a jerk?

Burnfest!

- Why are you such an airhead?

- [Skipper] Scorched.

OK, forget it.

This was a stupid idea.

Wait, wait, wait.

You came all this way.

What did you find?

[exhales]

OK. So I was looking through

the book that you guys stole

and there are a few words

highlighted throughout the pages.

We knew that.

OK, well did you

know what words?

"Hurry the heed,

bell and seat, to your."

Wow. Hurry the heed,

bell and seat, to your.

Jennifer, you cracked it!

[chuckles]

Oh. Wait.

No, you didn't.

OK, well I just thought you guys

might know what it means.

Can I see that?

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

If you scramble

the words it says,

"Heed the bell and

hurry to your seat."

It probably means

something about school.

And everybody told me

dyslexia was a bad thing.

Sure worked here.

- What?

- Fred, you're a genius!

You solved it.

Now let's go find the treasure.

Sorry, no. I'm not

breaking into some school

just so Jack here

can strike it rich.

Um, I thought that we were

trying to save the town.

We were.

Jack is trying to leave town.

I'd help but

Twyla's my friend. Sorry.

At least I still

have you, Skipper.

Uh, I need to return some

books to the video store.

So these are the

schools in the area.

Which one is it?

He knows we're watching

and he's waiting.

He's a crafty little devil.

Ah-hah!

He's playing the waiting game!

What is the waiting game?

You know, where he

waits for us to give up

and then he goes in

and gets the treasure.

But we're not giving up!

Don't give our position away!

We must move soon.

No more spying.

- We must take action.

- Yeah!

Thankfully, I have a plan.

No more waiting

game for us, hey, Mama?

[laughs maniacally]

Stop that, you're scaring me!

[Skipper] Jack.

Jack, you gotta come upstairs.

Your mom seems pretty upset.

Jack? Hello?

Here, I'll sit for ya.

Jack. Hey, buddy.

Jack? Your mom.

Will you come upstairs with me?

Jack? Oh, right. I'm a dog.

I keep forgetting.

[clears throat]

[barking]

What is it, Skipper?

[barking]

What is it, boy?

[knocks]

- Mom?

- [sniffles] Hey, bud.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

You're crying.

I'm not crying,

don't be silly.

[sniffles]

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