Tremors 5: Bloodlines Page #2

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sighting of what

you would refer to

as an Ass Blaster.

That's impossible.

The species are confined

to the Northern

Hemisphere.

Oh, well, then, I suppose it's

some other flying carnivore

that shoots flame

out of its rear end

that we have wreaking

havoc in Africa?

Is this a confirmed

sighting?

Oh, yes, sir. Although the

witness is no longer alive.

When do we leave?

Excellent.

Slow your roll,

there, Gums. Okay.

You're quite the fetching bushman, Mr.

van Dick.

It's Van Wyk.

Van Wyk, right,

okay. Um...

Mr. Gummer really isn't in the

monster business, anymore.

I'm what?

Give us a minute,

will you?

What the hell

are you doin'?

I'm working this

dude for some paper.

Paper?

Cash. Listen.

You don't take the first offer.

Let me close this deal.

Request denied.

I work alone.

Come on, but you need

a videographer, okay?

You need to take

the long view on this, okay?

Think about it.

The Gummer in Africa.

This is our chance to catch you

on tape really doing what you do,

and really giving it

to those Ass Blasters.

Okay, that came out weird, but

you know what I mean, right?

This is real world, son.

You're a newbie.

Newbie?

Okay, stop being Burt for a

second, and just listen.

I may have not

spent most of my life

fighting giant,

blind worms,

but I spent the last 10 years

of my life deep in the sh*t.

Pulling gigs for CNN

and Fox in the sandbox.

Yeah, Afghanistan, Syria.

You know those places?

Yeah.

And as for firearms,

I just added this

baby to my collection.

HK91.

Where'd you get that? Uh-uh-uh!

You punch my ticket

to South Africa,

and will I hand

over this beautiful,

semi-automatic

Mr. Shotty to you.

Deal.

Erich. May I call

you Erich?

Of course.

We really

appreciate your offer,

but Mr. Gummer's monster-hunting

schedule's all booked up.

Sorry.

Oh, uh...

That's a pity.

Bigfoot in the Ozarks.

Possible gremlin in Fresno.

Family of werewolves

in Peru we heard about.

Thank you for

your time, gentlemen.

I don't suppose it

would make any difference

if I offered to fully fund

Mr. Gummer's videos

for the next two years?

Four

Three.

What time does

your plane leave?

How quickly can

you roll your tents?

Rolled.

Burt Gummer.

In Africa.

Africa's not

for sissies, yeah?

We eat what we

kill here, boet.

You mind if I

call you boet?

Boet?

Yeah. It means brother.

So, you're the

monster-hunter?

Yeah, somethin' like that.

This doesn't look like any

Ass Blaster I've ever seen.

Strange attraction.

Come again?

A man who hunts a monster.

It's a strange attraction.

Mr. Bravers,

are you drunk?

Not yet.

Mr. Gummer?

We're heading for a safari

lodge, just south of the river.

The owner's been

kind enough

to let us base our

operations there.

Hey, where's my bug-out bag and

the weapons I brought from home?

About that.

We have very strict customs

laws here in South Africa.

I should have warned you about the

three-day weapons quarantine.

Three-day what'?

Don't worry about it. I've

procured us some weapons.

They're waiting

for us at the lodge.

There, there it is,

there, there.

Nice digs, Van Dyke.

It's Van Wyk.

Hey,boet

Yeah?

I got a story

for you.

Every morning in Africa,

a gazelle wakes up.

And he knows he's gotta run

faster than the fastest lion,

otherwise...

He gets killed.

Every morning,

a lion wakes up.

And he knows he's gotta

outrun the slowest gazelle,

otherwise he's

gonna starve to death.

So, it doesn't matter if you are

a lion or you're a gazelle,

in Africa,

when the sun rises,

you better be running.

Hey, if you need my help,

call me on the horn.

Mmm.

Now, you go well, boet.

Thank you.

Chop-chop, Pops.

Stop calling

me "Pops."

Got you.

Old man.

And we're clear!

What? I don't understand.

This is a seismic

vibration monitor.

It's uplinked

to the South African

National Grid

of Seismology

and can detect

Graboid movement

within a 50 square-mile area.

Next level type stuff.

Graboid? Worms?

Exactly.

This is Johan Dreyer.

He's my local

field representative

and a safari

guide in the area.

He's the one who witnessed

the fatal attack.

That's right.

And this towering hunk of dark

chocolate is my assistant, Thaba.

That's quite

a gun you got there.

Rifle.

Bet it makes you feel like

you got a lot of power.

I can drop a charging

rhino at 100 meters.

You wanna go for a run?

How's life in the

Thunderdome?

Well, you wouldn't know

what a rhino looked like

if it shoved its horn

through your throat.

Graboids and

Ass Blasters are immune

to any known form

of tranquilizer,

rendering your weapon useless against

the creatures we're hunting.

Capturing. Capturing,

that's the plan, right?

You don't capture these things.

You kill them.

Kill them,

capture them, I don't care.

But what we have in Africa,

sir, is not Graboids.

If you've got Ass Blasters,

you've got Graboids.

Odontotermes baadi.

Yes.

But on a massive scale.

It has the same

magnesium mandibles.

That explains the presence of formic

acid in the bedrock surrounding it.

It spits out the acid

to soften the rocks,

while the mandibles

chew through it.

This is a super digger.

We're going to be on the

cover of Science magazine.

Been there, baby.

I want National Geographic.

Whoo!

Ugh!

Mr. Gummer.

Mr. Gummer. Over here.

Can you say, "Ballin"'?

Hey, what's the Zulu

word for "ballin"'?

Hello, Baruti. Taking the

kids for a walk, I see?

Well, you know that

these young ladies

are too high-class

for the likes of you,

so,I guess

somebody has to do it.

Just act natural.

These men are here investigating

the impundulu attack.

Oh, right, the

monster-hunters, right?

Ish. I'm still in training, but

I got, like, a credit away.

There.

You want guns, Burt?

This is how we roll.

Wow.

Here you go.

What's this?

The weapons you asked for.

A BSA .303 and a .30-06?

Well, there's also

a Colt Peacemaker.

And a...

Ooh! The double-barrel thingy.

Are you serious? We might

as well use a spit straw.

Granted, it's not

everything you requested.

No, what I requested

was confiscated

by your mindless

government lackeys.

Yes, I'm sorry about that.

They don't just

hand out machine guns

to every jacked-up safari jockey

that comes to this country.

This is Africa, Mr. Gummer.

But we're not

all bushies.

Was that racist? That

sounded a little racist.

Bushist.

You promised me

adequate weaponry.

What do you think we're hunting,

Rocky, the flying squirrel?

That .30-06 will drop

anything on this continent.

Anything.

Who's this?

HEY-

Hi.

What are you doing?

Zapping worms for bait.

Look. Here they come.

Damn!

Whoo-hoo!

You got any wasabi?

Eat it.

Eat it?

Eat it.

African tradition.

ls it really

African tradition?

No.

Oh, God.

Travis, Travis.

This is Dr. Nandi Montabu.

She owns the reserve.

Hey, Doctor.

Nandi is fine.

No, free Wi-Fi at

a coffee shop is fine.

You are like

a holiday drink.

Like a caramel macchiato

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