Trick 'r Treat Page #2

KREEG:
Then fix it!

It stinks like a dead whore out here.

I'm...

trying.

KREEG:

Keep your kid out of my yard!

Goddamn freak.

-Happy Halloween.

KREEG:
Screw you!

[YELLS]

BILLY:
Daddy!

I wanna carve the jack-o'-lantern now,

but I need your help with the eyes.

In a minute, Billy.

And can I go to the parade

with you later?

No, Daddy has a date.

Oh! But we haven't done anything

fun together.

How about if we make some

caramel apples, just like Grandpa used to?

-How about that?

-When?

After we carve the jack-o'-lantern,

but you have to be quiet.

Okay.

But don't forget to help me

with the eyes!

"Daddy, I wanna carve a pumpkin."

"Daddy, I wanna go to the parade."

"Daddy, I wish Mommy was still alive."

KREEG [MUFFLED] :

Wilkins! Wilkins, over here! Wilkins!

Help me, goddamn it!

Help me!

-Help me!

-Screw you.

Billy!

[SCREAMS]

BILLY:

Gotcha.

So can we carve it now?

[WOMAN SCREAMING ON TV]

Yeah.

Let's go downstairs.

Let's carve a scary face this time.

A scary face it is.

Wrap it around.

But don't forget to help me

with the eyes.

Trick or treat!

[LAUGHS]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING

ON STEREO]

Aren't you guys adorable?

Thanks, Mrs. Henderson.

That's a great costume.

I know. Isn't it just "purr-fect"?

You want a drink or something?

It'll be our little secret.

-Sure.

-No, thanks. But....

All right, fine. I'll see what I got for you.

Actually, Mrs. Henderson,

we were wondering if you might--

[LAUGHING AND GROANING]

-If you might...

-Holy sh*t.

have a jack-o'-lantern we could borrow.

Here you go.

Now, be safe...

and watch out for monsters.

I don't even know what that was.

Coach Taylor was in a hot-dog costume

butt-f***ing a pig.

-I think. And then--

-Chip. Let's just not.

SCHRADER:
Trick or treat.

-What'd you find?

That's it?

Sorry, but some a**hole went

down the street smashing all of them.

But we have 3. Isn't this enough?

Almost.

SCHRADER:

Macy, why didn't we just start here?

MACY:

I didn't know she'd do this.

[DOOR OPENS]

This is weird.

Is that Rhonda the retard?

MACY:

She's not a retard, she's an idiot savant.

SARA:

Here she comes.

MACY:

You're on, Schrader.

Did you carve all these yourself?

Yeah. Made my costume too.

Like it?

I do.

I'm Schrader.

Rhonda.

[DRUMS POUNDING]

[CHATTERING]

[MOANING]

ALLIE:

Let's get another drink.

[ALLIE SCREAMING]

EMMA:

Henry.

-I need help.

-She's just drunk, baby. Come on.

[ALLIE SCREAMS]

You must really like Halloween.

-You mean Samhain?

-What?

Samhain, also known as All Hallows' Eve,

also known as Halloween.

Pre-dating Christianity,

the Celtic holiday...

was celebrated on the one

night between autumn and winter...

when the barrier between living

and dead was thinnest...

and often involved rituals

that included human sacrifice.

I like your eye patch.

Oh.

Great, a rock quarry.

Nice way to celebrate Halloween, Macy.

SARA:
Why are we here?

-To pay our respects to the dead.

What happened? Did somebody die here?

Wait.

Is this where--?

-It is, isn't it? This is where that school--

-Shut up, Sara.

The Halloween School Bus Massacre.

-Just don't call it that.

-What's she talking about?

It's this awesome town legend.

There was this bus--

Jesus, will you shut up

and let me tell the damn story?

You said a bad word.

[SIGHS]

It happened 30 years ago...

on a late Halloween afternoon.

A school bus was on its usual route.

But this wasn't your typical school bus...

and they weren't your typical kids.

There were 8 of them...

and they were different.

Troubled.

Disturbed.

Every day, parents put their dirty secrets

on this bus...

to be driven to a school

miles outside of town.

BOY:
3260.

But that day...

the driver took a different route.

Wrong way.

Wrong way.

Wrong way.

And instead of

taking the students home...

he drove the bus

to an abandoned rock quarry.

This rock quarry.

The kids didn't know that over the years,

their parents had become exhausted...

embarrassed.

And they were willing to do anything

to ease their burden.

So one day, the parents approached

the bus driver and made him an offer.

Shh.

With the money they collected together,

they asked him to do the unthinkable.

It almost worked perfectly.

BOY:
Wrong way.

Wrong way.

Home. Home.

I wanna go home.

I wanna go home.

Home.

[ENGINE REVS]

Home. Home.

Home! Go home!

Home.

The driver was never heard from again.

[GASPING]

As for the bus, some say

it sank so deep that it couldn't be found.

Others say the town

just didn't want it to be found.

For all we know, it's still down there...

and so are those kids.

You are so full of sh*t.

Really?

Then I guess

you won't mind being first.

First what?

8 victims, 8 jack-o'-lanterns...

each one representing a lost soul.

So we're going to leave them

by the side of the lake...

as an offering to those who died.

Oh.

Is that one of yours?

Yes.

It's very pretty.

Thank you.

It can only hold 3 safely.

I'll send the keys back up.

You guys bring the rest.

Uh.... Okay.

EMMA:
I can't do this.

If you put me in a box...

[PHONE RINGING]

it makes me feel like

you're not proud of me.

If you're not proud of me....

-Hello?

-Who's your favorite big sister?

You there?

Yeah. Hi.

So there's a guy here

who really wants to meet you.

Is he young? Cute?

[G TOM MAC'S CRY LITTLE SISTER

PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

Uh.... Yeah.

Yeah, no, you could say that.

He's really, really nice.

So he's hideous.

Just get your ass over here.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Nice.

Great.

Not now, Andrew.

-Josh.

-Whatever.

[HOWLING]

Werewolves.

Very funny.

SARA:
That bus is around here somewhere.

I think it's over here.

SCHRADER:
Over where? I can't see sh*t

in this fog. Think I found a dead retard.

SARA:
That's me, a**hole.

SCHRADER:
Like I said.

MACY:

Both of you shut up and keep looking.

SCHRADER:

There's something moving by that rock.

MACY:
I can't see.

SARA:
Jesus, what is that?

[SARA SCREAMS]

Help me!

MACY:
Sara! Where's Sara?

SARA:
Run!

SCHRADER:
There's nowhere to go.

CHIP:
Up! I wanna go back up!

[CHIP WHIMPERING]

Macy? Schrader? Sara?

Aren't you coming? Okay, stay here.

Don't let the candles go out

and they'll protect you, okay?

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[THUDS]

SCHRADER:
Oh, sh*t.

SARA:
Is she dead?

Hey.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

SCHRADER:
Rhonda.

Rhonda.

It was all going so well.

-You're all dead!

-Rhonda, calm down.

It was all just a trick.

Look, none of this is real.

It was just a trick.

-A bad joke.

-I'd say it was a pretty good one.

Shut up.

[RHONDA WHIMPERING]

Here, let me see.

Does it hurt?

-Go pack everything up. We're leaving.

-Says who?

Macy, she's scared out of her mind.

What else do you want?

Let's go.

CHIP:

This one's still lit.

If this was all a trick,

then how did the school bus get here?

MACY:
That part's true.

-What happened to the bus driver?

I don't know, Chip.

[CHILDREN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

-What?

-I didn't say anything.

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