Trouble with the Curve Page #5

next year, and I'm gunning for it.

Announcing?

Yes, Gus.

I plan on bringing all that hard work

and dedication I had as an athlete...

to my profession as a broadcaster.

Ever think what would've happened

if the Braves hadn't traded you?

No more than eight, nine hours a day.

Yeah.

Never goes away, does it?

No, it doesn't.

God Almighty, Gus.

What happened?

Cut myself shaving.

What are you fellas staring at?

I'm not a pole dancer.

What you doing with hot dogs?

I couldn't hold out any longer.

One of those for me?

Nope.

Good job, Bo.

Yeah, there's one more game.

We'll watch it and then make our decision.

- You think the Sox are gonna pass?

- How the hell should I know?

Try and get a sense

of what they're gonna do.

I'll get that, Mom.

Yeah, I'll see what I can do on that.

Dad, I'm starving.

I gotta hang up now. Mickey and I

are gonna get something to eat.

She still there?

Yeah, she's here.

She's just, you know, sightseeing.

He's a monster.

Three for three, two homers and a single.

We could be looking

at the next Albert Pujols.

Oh, my God, I want this pick.

Maybe the Red Sox are on the fence,

we do a draft and trade deal.

Just make sure Grandpa

doesn't screw it up, all right?

He's got some young babe with him.

I'm surprised he can still get it up.

- All right, keep me posted.

- You got it.

It was Mississippi.

No, I know it was Mobile, Alabama.

They had one of those promotion nights

where they had a horse out on the field.

They had one of the players

race the horse around the bags.

That's right, and the player won.

You almost gave me a heart attack.

How?

Well, you kept pestering me

about getting up on the horse.

And the horse ran off,

right out over center field.

I thought it was gonna go through

the center field fence.

I loved that horse.

Yeah, I know you did.

And then you went back looking for him

and he wasn't there.

What? What is it?

Nothing.

It was just a long time ago, that's all.

- Here, I got it.

- No, I got it.

Dad, I've got it.

Let me help, that's why I'm here.

No, I got it!

Night.

- Hey, Greg.

- Mickey.

If it wasn't for your assistant, I wouldn't

have known you were out of town.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I meant to call

you, I just had a lot going on up here.

I just want you to know

I've been thinking about us...

and I am really clear that I want this

to go to the next level.

So, basically, I just need to know

that you're feeling the same way.

Greg, I can't answer that right now.

That's the problem.

It doesn't feel like you can ever

give me an answer.

This isn't one of those things

that you can just put on paper.

Well, I guess that's my answer.

You...

You take care, Mickey.

You could buy me a drink if you want.

You have got to lighten up.

Seriously.

I don't feel so light right now.

- Get out.

- What?

Go.

Why don't you two go out,

meet some people? Have some fun.

You don't want to hang around here.

- Thank you. I meet plenty of people.

- Well, you're still single, aren't you?

- Yes, I'm still single, very single.

- Maybe you are emotionally unavailable.

Emotionally unavailable?

- Yeah.

- Who are you, Dr. Phil?

Hey, that is quality television.

Yeah.

By the way,

if I am emotionally unavailable...

which I am not, thank you very much,

it would be because of you.

Just go, will you?

- No.

- Jesus Christ.

We gotta get a camera crew

to follow you guys around.

I mean, the Kardashians

have nothing on the two of you.

That poor Bruce.

Come on. Will you, please?

Just the two of you, get out.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Name a team...

to have four 20-game winners

in the same season. Go.

'71 Orioles:
Palmer, McNally...

Cuellar and Dobson, they lose

to the Pirates in the series. Go figure.

You've got to be kidding me.

Have you had enough?

No, no, no. Fire away. Come on.

Okay, '75 World Series...

Carlton Fisk hits a homer

to win the game, right?

What was the player who hit a homer to tie

the game and take it into extra innings?

The three-two pitch.

This one's hit deep to center, way back.

Way back.

This baby's got a chance. It's gone.

Home run.

Bernie Carbo has just tied the game.

Bernie Carbo has just tied the game.

- Very good.

- All right, that's... Yeah.

You're actually very good.

You're really very good.

You sound like the real thing.

- Let's hope the Red Sox agree with you.

- I would listen to you.

- Really?

- Really.

Who's the only player to be named

MVP in both leagues?

Frank Robinson.

Baltimore and Cincinnati.

That was too easy.

- It was really, really easy, actually.

- Sh*t.

Who was he traded for?

Milt Pappas, but if we're going to be

specific, Baldschun and Simpson.

Drink up.

Who are you?

- I see what's happening here.

- I'm kicking your ass is what's happening.

Well, maybe.

I mean, you're trying to get me drunk.

You're hoping to get lucky.

Really?

Too much moonshine?

What are they doing?

Clogging.

- Clogging?

- Clogging. Clogging.

- It's a mountain dance. No?

- No.

Where I'm from, they'd take you

to a psych ward for that.

No, actually, it's a...

I think you'd like it.

It's really fun. You should try it.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- Yes.

- No.

- Come on, it's fun. It's really fun.

- No.

- It's really fun. Come on.

I'll deny this ever happened.

Just try to keep up.

Hop up and down, they'll think

you know what you're doing.

Okay.

I think we're going in a circle.

Oh, yeah!

You're good at this. I don't believe you,

I think you clog all the time.

Just keep bouncing, just bounce.

I think I got it now. I got it.

Yeah, it was

my first start after being called up.

God. There's nothing like it.

I mean, it's Fenway.

As I'm walking out to the mound,

all I could think about was...

all the legends that had played

there before, you know?

How'd you do?

Went six and a third, three earned.

First start, that's awesome.

Well, that's the best it got.

We needed middle relief help.

So they used me...

a lot.

My arm got tired...

didn't say anything.

Ended up tearing my rotator.

That was it. What are you gonna do?

Why didn't you say anything?

Because I was afraid if I did,

they'd find somebody else.

I'm sorry.

So, what's Mickey short for? Michelle?

Mickey is short for Mickey.

As in Mickey Mantle,

my father's favorite player.

Lucky it wasn't Yogi Berra.

Sh*t, I'm sorry.

Jealous boyfriend?

No, this thing is all work, no play.

There's no available space

for jealous boyfriends.

You want to tell me

what's wrong with Gus?

You can trust me.

Okay?

When Gus scouted me,

we spent a lot of time together.

To be honest, when I got traded, I think

it bothered him as much as it did me.

Actually, I remember him saying

he had a daughter in college.

Yep.

He would say that she was smarter

than me and him put together.

That's why when I met you, obviously,

I thought Gus had another daughter.

Doesn't sound like my father.

That sounds like a compliment.

Well, he said it.

Well, he never tells me anything.

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