True Confessions Page #5

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-It's good for my soul.

But you see, I have the sin of pride.

I always have.

And I recognize it in you.

Because you Iike power.

You Iike to use power. I've told you that.

Yes, sir, I agree with you.

But how could you get things done

without using it?

If our business is saving souls,

then we need a place to save them.

And somebody's got to take care of that.

So you're always saying.

I know, but what other choice is there?

What...

Well, I don't know.

But just don't sell yourself short.

Next time I ask you for a nine-iron,

give me a nine-iron, would you?

He gave you the seven

because the Iast time

you birdied the hole with a seven, Dan.

Was I playing with you?

Mind your own business, would you?

I keep reading about

your brother, the policeman, Des,

in the newspapers about

this "virgin tramp" business.

Well, it's the Virgin Mary

they should be writing about.

Don't you think so, Des?

That's right.

- Well, people are bored.

- The war is over.

They have to have something

to sink their teeth into.

But he's a grand policeman.

That's what they tell me.

Is he making any progress, I wonder?

We've got to unload Jack.

It's not as if Jack's done anything illegal,

Des.

No, only profitable.

It's been going on too Iong.

It's a full-time job, Iooking the other way.

He's got to go and that's it.

I don't think you want to

get on the wrong side of him.

Why don't you Ieave that up to me?

Wasn't there a run-in recently between

Jack and your brother, the policeman?

What about it?

You Iet Jack go now,

what's it going to Iook Iike?

And what about Rancho Rosa?

Forget Rancho Rosa.

That's not going to happen.

Oh, that's going to be very difficult, Des.

No more difficult than it was for you

to pension off

Cornelia Cronin, her name was?

Otherwise know as Corky.

That was a Christian thing to do, Sonny.

I think I can get Neddy FIynn

to bid against Jack

on that contract for the new

orthopedic wing at St. John's Hospital.

That's perfect.

Neddy Ioves getting his bones broken,

I hear.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

There's Iots of grand ways to handle it,

Dan,

so as Jack's feelings don't get hurt,

is what I mean.

We could give him a dinner.

Catholic Layman Of The Year?

That's grand, Des. That's just grand.

May I help you, young man?

Mrs. Phil Spellacy. I know the way.

You'II have to wait.

She's receiving communion.

May all your sons be Jesuits, Sister.

Who is that come in, Monsignor?

-Is that you, Tom?

-Yeah. Here you go.

Brought me something!

-Good to see you. How are you?

-Bad breath, Thomas.

-Are you still constipated?

-Oh, every day.

The Monsignor here

recommends the castor oil.

And Iisten to the Monsignor, Thomas.

You remembered my favorite color.

What's this with the orange bow on here?

He has grand grammar.

AIways had to wash

your mouth out with soap.

-The dirty words.

-Okay, Ma, Iet's forget about that, okay?

Wouldn't it be grand

if you had turned out to be a nun

Iike the younger one.

I'm a priest, Ma. I think I'm a priest.

And a swell one too.

Tom, has Moira received

first holy communion?

Yeah, about 12 years ago, Ma.

That's grand, Tom.

Spell out the holy days of obligation.

And start at the beginning.

There's a rap on the knuckles

if you don't start at the beginning.

What's the beginning?

Well, Immaculate Conception.

-Immaculate...

-Try Immaculate Conception.

-I-M-M-A...

-I-M... Immaculate.

-That's the hard part.

-...C...

Conception is a snap

once you know your C's from your S's.

Will you Iet me finish? U-L-A-T-E. Okay?

-You're a much better speller now, Tom.

-I hope so.

You used to have trouble

with your vowels.

A, E, I, O, U. Sometimes Y.

Conception, Thomas.

Mind your C's.

Hello, Sister.

I didn't think she'd talk about your breath.

Yeah, a grand speller Iike yourself.

-I'II give you a ride back to the chancery.

-That's C-H-A-N-C-E-R-Y.

Yeah, you're right.

Remember Uncle Eddie's wake

when Aunt Jenny asked Pa

what Uncle Eddie was really Iike after all,

because he knew him so well.

Pa Iooks down at Eddie's casket

and Iooks up at Aunt Jenny and says,

"Well, he was a good shoveler, Jenny.

"Not a fancy shoveler, mind you,

but a good shoveler."

High praise from the old man.

One thing about the old man,

he never missed a wake.

Free booze and plenty of it.

-Ever feel Iike doing something?

-Sure, Iet's do that.

-Let's...

-Maybe Saturday?

Saturday? Well, I have my golf game

on Saturday, but...

Oh, okay.

Well, I'II cancel it

if it's the only day you have.

No. No, that's okay.

It'II interfere with your golf game.

-I'II change it.

-No, just forget about it.

-Tommy, I can change it.

-No.

Just forget it, okay?

Another time.

But I just... I'II... I'II... Never mind.

It would behoove you, Seamus,

to remember that I'm running

this archdiocese, not Monsignor Spellacy.

Well, I respect that,

Your Eminence.

It's just that this archdiocese

has become so...

I don't know.

Every day, I'm feeling Iess Iike a priest

and more Iike an employee

of a construction company.

Yes, well, I want you at that Iuncheon,

Seamus.

I suppose I could pick up a few pointers

about the cement business.

Yes, Seamus.

As you wish, Your Eminence.

Desmond?

Sit yourself there, Desmond. Sit yourself.

I'm afraid he'II have to go.

Do you mean that...

I mean he'II have to be replaced, Desmond.

And don't Iook

as if you'd never heard the word before.

Well, I think you're making a mistake,

Your Eminence.

Oh, is that so?

I don't mean to be disrespectful,

but I think that he's

a good priest.

He runs the best parish in the archdiocese,

and he's a good man.

Yes, of course, he's a good man.

But the fact is we need younger pastors.

That's the Iong and the short of it.

Men who will do what they're told.

For the good of the Church.

Yes.

For the good of Holy Mother Church,

that's exactly what I mean.

So will you just find out

what his needs are?

I'm sure you'II be able to find

a place for him, Monsignor.

And perhaps it will be a Iesson

to some of the other pastors.

As you wish, Your Eminence.

You know, you said that exactly Iike him.

Well, you may as well

know it now as never.

You'II find you'II have

a few unpleasant things to do

when you become a bishop.

You know, of course,

there's an opening for an auxiliary bishop.

I've recommended you.

And I strongly suspect that

Rome will accept the recommendation.

And then, perhaps, you'II find

an ambitious young monsignor

to do the dirty work for you.

-That's all, thank you.

-Thank you, Your Eminence.

There's an opening for a chaplain

at St. Francis Hospital.

Nope.

I can't think of anything better.

Well, there's a parish in the desert.

St. Mary's.

Yes, but that's in the middle of nowhere,

Monsignor.

Yes, I Iike the desert.

-Well, then, consider it done.

-Thank you, Monsignor. Thank you.

Goodbye, Monsignor.

Bye, Monsignor.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye, Desmond.

Is it true you're dating Sabu,

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