True Romance Page #3

CLARENCE:

Go to the liquor store -

(to Cliff)

Where is there a liquor store around here?

CLIFF:

Uh, yeah... there's a party store down 54th.

CLARENCE:

(to Alabama)

Get a six-pack of something imported. It's hard to tell you what to get

'cause different places have different things. If they got Fosters, get

that, if not, ask the guy at the thing what the strongest imported beer he

has. Look, since you're making a beer run, would you mind too terribly if

you did a foot run as well. I'm f***in' starvin' to death. Are you hungry

too?

ALABAMA:

I'm pretty hungry. When I went to the store I was gonna get some

Ding-Dongs.

CLARENCE:

Well, f*** that sh*t, we'll get some real food. What would taste good.

(to Cliff)

What do you think would taste good?

CLIFF:

I'm really not very -

CLARENCE:

You know what would taste good? Chicken. I haven't had chicken in a while.

Chicken would really hit the spot about now. Chicken and beer, definitly,

absolutely, without a doubt.

(to Cliff)

Where's a good chicken place around here?

CLIFF:

I really don't know.

CLARENCE:

You don't know the chicken places around where you live?

(to Alabama)

Ask the guy at the place where a chicken place is.

He gives her some more money.

CLARENCE:

This should cover it, Auggie-Doggie.

ALABAMA:

Okee-dokee, Doggie-Daddy.

She opens the door and starts out. Clarence turns to his dad as the door shuts.

CLARENCE:

Isn't she the sweetest goddamned girl you ever saw in your whole life? Is

she a four alarm fire, or what?

CLIFF:

She seems very nice.

CLARENCE:

Daddy. Nice isn't the word. Nice is an insult. She's a peach. That's the

only word for it, she's a peach. She even tastes like a peach. You can tell

I'm in love with her. You can tell by my face, can't ya? It's a dead

giveaway. It's written all over it. Ya know what? She loves me back. Take a

seat, Pop, we gotta talk -

CLIFF:

Clarence, just shut up, you're giving me a headache! I can't believe how

much like your mother you are. You're your f***in' mother through and

through. I haven't heard from ya in three years. Then ya show up all of a

sudden at eight o'clock in the morning. You walk in like a goddamn

bulldozer... don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you... just slow it down.

Now, when did you get married?

CLARENCE:

Daddy, I'm in big f***in' trouble and I really need your help.

BLACK TITLE CARD: "HOLLYWOOD"

INT. OUTSIDE OF CASTING DIRECTOR'S OFFICER - DAY

FOUR YOUNG ACTORS are sitting on a couch with sheets of paper in their hands silently mouthing lines. One of the actors is DICK RITCHIE. The casting director, MARY LOUISE RAVENCROFT, steps into the waiting room, clip board in hand.

RAVENCROFT:

Dick Ritchie?

Dick pops up from the pack.

DICK:

I'm me... I mean, that's me.

RAVENCROFT:

Step inside.

INT. CASTING DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

She sits behind a large desk. Her name-plate rests on the desktop. Several posters advertising "The Return of T.J. Hooker" hang on the wall.

Dick sits in a chair, holding his sheets in his hands.

RAVENCROFT:

Well, the part you're reading for is one of the bad guys. There's Brian and

Marty. Peter Breck's already been cast as Brian. And you're reading for the

part of Marty. Now in this scene you're both in a car and Bill Shatner's

hanging on the hood. And what you're trying to do is get him off.

(she picks a up a copy of the script)

Whenever you're ready.

DICK:

(reading and miming driving)

Where'd you come from?

RAVENCROFT:

(reading from the script lifelessly)

I don't know. He just appeared as magic.

DICK:

(reading from script)

Well, don't just sit there, shoot him.

She puts her script down, and smiles at him.

RAVENCROFT:

That was very good.

DICK:

Thank you.

RAVENCROFT:

If we decided on making him a New York type, could you do that?

DICK:

Sure. No problem.

RAVENCROFT:

Could we try it now?

DICK:

Absolutely.

Dick picks up the script and begins, but this time with a Brooklyn accent.

DICK:

Where'd he come from?

RAVENCROFT:

(monotone, as before)

I don't know. He just appeared as magic.

DICK:

Well, don't just sit there, shoot him.

Ravencroft puts her script down.

RAVENCROFT:

Well, Mr. Ritchie, I'm impressed. You're a very fine actor.

Dick smiles.

INT. TRAILER HOME - DAY

Cliff's completely aghast. He just stares, unable to come to grips with what Clarence has told him.

CLARENCE:

Look, I don't know this is pretty heavy-duty, so if you wanna explode, feel

free.

CLIFF:

You're always making jokes. That's what you do, isn't it? Make jokes.

Making jokes is the one thing you're good at, isn't it? But if you make a

joke about this -

(raising his voice)

- I'm gonna go completely out of my f***in' head!

Cliff pauses and collects himself.

CLIFF:

What do you want from me?

CLARENCE:

What?

CLIFF:

Stop acting like an infant. You're here because you want me to help you in

some way. What do you need from me? You need money?

Rate this script:3.8 / 5 votes