Trust

I mean, it's pretty

dumb, but whatever.

Look at this.

Oh, my God,

that's so pretty.

I love it. Thank you

so much, Aunt Nicole.

Isn't it

pretty, Brit?

Dad? More decaf?

So, you two. High school.

That's pretty great.

I guess. It's gonna

be sorta weird though.

Really?

Our school is kind of a

feeder for New Trier's

so we're gonna know like

a ton of people already.

Here, Annie.

Happy Birthday!

It's like the one you saw

on The Hills, right?

I don't think The Hills are

the role models we were looking for.

It's a bit revealing,

don't you think?

She's fourteen,

you guys.

Yeah, no need

to remind me.

- So. You did great.

- Mmm hmm!

Come on.

Come on what?

Give it to me.

What's she talking about?

It's a heavy box.

It's the new

MacBook Pro.

It's got a four

gigabyte hard drive

What? I know what

that means.

I think you're actually

passing wind at this point.

Daddy.

it's getting

late, Banannie.

Five more minutes, Dad, please?

It's still my birthday.

All right.

Promise.

Who are you

talking to?

I'm chatting, Dad.

My friend Charlie

from California.

He's a junior and plays

volleyball for his high school.

Ooh, a junior.

Well, he's obviously a very smart kid.

LOL. Laugh

out loud. Right?

Nice one, Dad.

PWOMS?

"Parent watching

over my shoulder."

And what is that?

"Laughing my ass off.

Me too."

No, wait.

Dad, can you go talk to Mom about

mortgage payments or something.

All right. Good night,

birthday girl.

Good night.

Love you.

Love you.

All right.

Let's see what you got.

There you go, ladies.

Touch the line.

Make sure you're

touching the line.

Last one.

You're almost there.

Hey, Annie, come here!

This is Serena.

So, you're Peter

Cameron's little sister.

Your brother's

hot as sh*t.

Uh, thanks, I guess.

So, I'm having a little

party at my house Saturday night

and you, little

Cameron, are invited.

Okay. Uh,

thanks, Serena.

Tell your brother.

ls it deliberate?

NO, not at all.

Hey, honey?

No phones

at the table, please.

Sorry.

Katie, will you take a

picture of me and Peter?

Hey, what did Mom just say?

I was just gonna send a

photo to Charlie, but okay.

So, seriously,

what's this guy's deal?

Well, he's smart.

And funny.

His brother's being recruited

by UC Berkeley for football

and that's where he wants

to go, but for volleyball.

Oh, right.

The girl's sport.

What do his parents do?

His mom teaches

kids with autism

and his dad

works for ESPN.

I don't know,

sweetheart.

Sounds like he's got too much

going for him for my likin'.

Hey.

Yeah, I know

what you're talking about.

I'm looking at them right now.

These are definitely for a

clothing company, right?

So why isn't anybody

wearing a shirt?

No, I'm kidding. Yeah.

They're good. Go with it. Okay. Bye.

Hi, Mom!

Hey, honey, how'd it go?

I made the team!

You did? That's great!

What happened?

Annie?

Come on.

Where are you?

About time.

Hi, Charlie.

Where's mine, bozo?

What?

"I'm really 20.

Sophomore at UC Berkeley."

What?

Twenty?

Bye.

Hello.

Wow.

Hi, girls.

So did your brother come with?

No, he's packing

for college.

Great.

Looks like I wore these for nothing.

Come join us.

We're teaching Alexa

how to give a blow job.

She sucks.

She keeps gagging.

Serena, where's

your bathroom?

We have like six of them.

Go down the hall. You'll find one.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, sweetheart.

You have a good time?

Mm-hm.

Those girls kinda

freaked me out though.

Yeah?

I-l really want them

to like me, you know?

It means a lot.

Just be yourself

If the Serenas of the world

don't like it, it's their loss.

No, it's

high school, Dad.

If the Serenas of the

world don't like me

I'm screwed.

You get it?

Not really, no.

Sorry, I've, I've really gotta--

Yeah, okay.

Night.

'Night.

ls that Charlie?

Yeah, he has a

big paper due tomorrow.

That picture he sent you is so hot.

He's totally ripped.

Sh. Shut up.

My mom.

I got donut holes.

They're very

good. Here.

Who was that?

- It was Serena and Tanya.

- Oh.

Get anything good?

Mm.

What?

She told me

to buy a bra.

Oh, really?

Let me see.

Classy.

- You saved the receipt though, right?

- Mom.

If you think you're ready

for a bra like that

then we'll talk

about it, okay?

Serena kinda made

fun of her sports bra.

- Why?

- 'Cause it totally, like, flattens out my b*obs.

She said that guys would

think that I was hotter

if I, like,

had a better bra.

Does, like, Serena say

like all the time too?

Because, like,

you never used to.

Sorry.

You don't have to dumb yourself

down for guys, like Serena.

You know that.

Maybe she thinks that's

all she's got to offer.

Her parents own half of

downtown Chicago.

You get my point

though, right?

Yes, Lynn.

It's a parking lot,

moron. Go around!

Did you get my point?

Yeah, Mom. I get it.

Oh, for the love of--

- Bite me!

- Mom!

Yeah, I'm gonna get the steak sandwich,

medium, with grilled onions.

And can I get a side

of chips, please?

Oh, I'm sorry, we don't--

He means French fries.

Twenty years here, he still

can't say French fries.

I'm gonna have the same thing,

actually, except rare on the steak.

And to drink,

we'll have a bottle of--

Really?

'92 Rothschild.

Fantastic selection.

So what are

we celebrating?

So A & A wants to use us.

For everything.

- They liked the campaign?

- Liked?

How 'bout I just got a

phone call from the CEO

that was basically

ten minutes of phone sex.

Hey, let me

ask you something.

How old are you?

- Old enough.

- Oh.

I'm Claire, by the way.

Hi, Claire. I'm AI.

- That's Will.

- Hi.

Please let me know if there's

anything else you need.

Anything?

Can you stop?

She's nineteen.

One hour.

That's all I ask.

Just one hour

with that ass.

How's Barbara?

Oh, f*** off.

That is so weird.

Peter and I were just doing exactly

the same thing in his room.

Ah, Dad.

Okay. What now?

What? How old

are you?

Why do you keep lying?

What?

Why do you keep

lying to me?

Man, you won't believe

the stuff I'm Finding in here.

I'll say.

You wanna keep these Playboys?

What?

Just kidding.

Oh. Yeah, me too.

What, you packed

'em already?

Yeah, kinda.

You all right with this?

With What?

The whole college thing.

Yeah, I guess.

Don't feel pressured

into doing things

you don't want to do.

Wait. This isn't another

father-son talk, is it?

Oh, Dad, we had the sex talk,

like, three years ago

and I still can't order a salad

with cucumbers in it.

I just don't want you to lose

sight of what's important, like--

Taking responsibility

for my actions

living up to my potential

and personal expectations

staying true to my beliefs.

Basically, being a man?

Something like that.

Relax, Pop.

I got this. Trust me.

God. Come on.

Let's hug it out.

I feel the same way.

You coming in, sweetheart?

It's getting cold.

Hold on a sec.

Um, I'm talking

to Brittany, Dad.

Two minutes.

Okay. Now go away.

Hi.

How do I know that?

Okay.

Well, are you

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