Tully Page #5

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Yeah, no one's treated

my whole

in a really long time.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- (MIA GRUNTS)

- Oh.

My baby.

Are we going to have

a good day today?

Meow.

Ooh, are you a little kitten?

Meow.

What the...?

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

MARLO:

Hi.

Is it okay

if we bring in treats?

They're nut-free.

My mommy made them.

- (EXCITED CHATTER)

- I want cupcakes.

MARLO:

I am gonna steal this one.

- BOY:
No!

- Yes.

- Hey, Mia. Mia.

- I want one.

- Okay.

- I want one.

MARLO:

Hi.

- Oh.

- I'm here to apologize for the other day.

I brought an olive branch

of sorts.

Actually, it's a cupcake,

but who wants

an olive branch, right?

(MIA FUSSES)

Sorry, Dallas,

I only brought one.

And, look,

about the Jonah thing,

I-I get it.

You know, sometimes it just

doesn't... it's not a fit.

You know, you'll find

the right place.

Yeah.

We will.

Chapter three

of I Hate Rules!

"Katie Kazoo decides

there should be

no more rules at school."

- So, what are the consequences?

- I don't know.

What about George?

He has ten desserts.

What happens then?

MARLO:

Come on, guys. Dinner.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oh, my God.

Are you shocked that

I can roast a chicken?

- I am, actually.

- It's so easy.

You just take a bunch of lemon

and you shove it

into the cavity,

a little salt and pepper

- and you're good to go.

- Hmm.

Is the cavity the butt?

Honey, that's gross.

It's not the butt.

SARAH:

What is it?

It's just the gaping hole

where the chicken's organs

used to be.

Hand me the bread.

- That's worse than a butt.

- I know, Sarah.

(WHISPERS):

It's murder.

- Ah, there she is.

- (MIA COOS)

- (KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS)

- TULLY:
Hey.

Where's Mia?

(GASPS)

How was your day?

Good.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

I'm starving.

So, what do you do

during the day?

The same thing I do every day,

try to take over the world.

(LAUGHS)

- (CHUCKLES):
Oh, God.

- (LAUGHS)

No, I'm just pretty much

napping mostly.

Wow. God, that's nice.

Hi.

Hi, little bear.

Hey, thanks for those cupcakes.

- No problem.

- Oh...

All right,

I will be in my quarters.

Night-night.

Hi, little bear.

Oh, you're starting

to look like Ma.

And one day he packed his bags

and left.

Yeah.

I have an early flight.

Portland?

Phoenix.

A server farm.

They got me

on a rinky-dink airline

with no seat assignments,

so I just want to

get there early.

- (MIA FUSSING OVER MONITOR)

- Um...

- Are you guys gonna be good?

- Mm-hmm.

(MIA COOS)

Is she okay?

(SOFTLY):

Yeah.

- Um...

- Oh...

So how are you feeling?

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

(SIGHS)

I feel fine.

- Yeah.

- Hmm.

Okay, good.

- Okay.

- Good.

All right.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(MIA FUSSING OVER MONITOR)

(SIGHS)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Are you excited about

the new school?

- I'm scared.

- That's okay.

I'm a grown-up, and even I find

new things scary all the time.

- Like your new baby?

- I'm not scared of the baby.

What's going on?

I have to pee.

(SIGHS):

Oh, God.

Okay, come.

Quick, quick, quick.

JONAH:
Are you sure

nobody's gonna flush?

Nobody's in there.

Nobody's gonna flush,

I promise.

I don't want it to be loud.

Oh, my God.

Jonah, nobody's in there!

- (TOILET FLUSHES)

- (JONAH SCREAMING)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I didn't know it was automatic!

- Jonah! Jonah!

- (JONAH SHOUTING)

Jonah, stop!

- Jonah. Jonah, stop.

- (CRYING LOUDLY)

The world is full

of loud toilets.

The world is a loud toilet.

Please, shh.

- Hey.

- Hi.

What's going on, little fella?

- (JONAH SNIFFLES)

- Sorry.

He just gets freaked out

by certain noises.

I'm sorry, we're... We'll go.

No, no, you don't have to go.

Hey.

How about you and me hang out

and be trees for a bit?

Is that okay?

Hmm?

Okay.

Can you bring your foot

up like this?

You want to give me

some branches?

That's good stuff.

Big breath in.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Now you blow out

through the leaves.

(TRILLING LIPS LOUDLY)

That's better, right?

You don't have to apologize.

You don't have to leave,

'cause you didn't

do anything wrong.

("YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE"

BY BEULAHBELLE PLAYING)

Oh, come on.

Have fun in class.

You only live twice

Or so it seems

One life for yourself

And one for your dreams

You drift through the years

And life seems tame

Till one dream appears

And love is its name

And love is a stranger

Who'll beckon you on

Don't think of the danger

Or the stranger is gone

(SINGERS VOCALIZING)

Live twice.

- Mom?

- Hmm?

Why do you wear makeup now?

I guess I just want

to look nice sometimes.

Why? You don't like it?

I like it.

You just look different.

Like Draculaura.

Which one is Draculaura again?

She's Dracula's daughter

from Monster High.

Hmm. Monster High.

That's high school

for monsters, right?

Yeah.

What's Draculaura's

story again?

She's 1,600 years old.

Mm. Sounds about right.

(PANTING)

(MARLO PANTING)

Are you okay?

Yeah.

What?

Oh, it's milk.

I make milk.

(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING)

(STEADY PUMPING)

(TULLY SIGHING)

(GASPS)

Is this sangria?

Yeah.

Yeah, it always

reminds me of college.

You see, you are a homemaker.

- Because I made sangria?

- Mm-hmm.

You know they make sangria

in prison toilets, right?

I know. They call it pruno.

Shall we?

TULLY:

Okay.

No sh*t. I knew a guy

who had one of these once.

- He filled it with water.

- (SIGHS):
Oh.

(SIGHS)

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Does Drew ever ask about me?

Yeah. I mean, he finds

the whole thing a little weird.

Yeah.

Does he like being a dad?

Sure.

The way dads do.

I mean, he works really hard

and then he comes home.

He does the homework,

the reading logs, all that.

We make lunches together,

and then he goes upstairs,

puts on a headset,

kills zombies and passes out.

And you guys don't ever...?

- Have sex?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, no, not in months.

I mean, it's like

we both want dinner,

we just can't pick a restaurant

or even decide if we're hungry.

Oh. Well, why don't you guys

just talk about it? (CHUCKLES)

Are you in a relationship?

Yeah. I'm in several.

(MARLO LAUGHS)

I used to be like that.

Yeah.

I rode every horse on

the carousel until I met Drew.

And... which horse was Drew?

Drew was the bench.

But you love him.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Definitely.

I know I picked

the right person.

So why don't you guys have sex?

I hold a baby all day,

and it's me and her

and it's primal.

We're like two gorillas

at the zoo.

And then nighttime rolls around

and I'm supposed to just

switch gears like...

hello, all sexy now.

Look at my b*obs.

They're all sexual.

It's...

I get that.

Of course you do.

I like Drew.

- No.

- (LAUGHS):
I do.

I mean, what I know about him.

I don't want my kids

to grow up like I did.

I had three stepmothers.

It was... (SCOFFS)

- It was crazy.

- Okay.

So then we need to fix this.

Because Drew needs

his battery charged.

- His battery?

- His battery.

(TULLY CHUCKLES)

What kind of...

stuff is he into?

I-I checked

his browser history once,

and it was

pretty basic stuff.

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