Tumbledown Page #4

- Definitely.

- ...add up to what you're hearing.

I'm going into town

to interview this, uh...

Yeah, I'll be back soon.

Wait, someone that knew Hunter?

I'll come with.

No, no. Not that.

I work freelance

for a local paper

and write these little

community portrait things.

That is very sweet.

Okay. I'm late.

Work hard.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

So tell me what you ate

at your birthday.

The Lord's largest whoopee pie

with 88 candles on it,

and I blew out those puppies

all by myself.

Are you going to tell me

what you wished for?

Oh, can't do that, Hannah.

Hey, it's called

investigative journalism, guys.

Okay? Your mom's

paying me to do this.

All right?

Go! Go, go, go!

All right?

Have fun, all right?

And consider what I said

about Jessie's kid.

Kenny ROY?

Oh, he's one big hunk

of man, child.

Keep it in your pants, Esther.

You shush.

This is my interview.

Happy birthday, my dear.

Yeah. Hannah?

You want to know

what I wished for?

Off the record.

Well, not if it's going

to break the rules.

There are no rules to it,

sweetheart.

I wished to keep

living in the present,

to die just as happy as I was

at my birthday party,

and to be reincarnated

as my granddaughter's cat.

Next Friday's paper, Esther.

Keep your eyes peeled.

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, he!!!

Back inside. Back inside!

Oh, no. No, please.

Are you kidding me?

Hey! Guys, guys, guys.

Come here!

No, no, no!

Ripken! Glover!

Whoa!

Oh, you freezing?

You freezing cold?

Oh! Oh, hey!

Hey, you're back.

I didn't see--

see you get here.

Hey, what's everybody doing out here

in a state of undress?

I'll give you two guesses.

- You didn't--

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, I did.

No, I took them on a walk

and locked all the doors by instinct.

Yeah, very primal.

Our Neanderthal cousins

were constantly locking themselves out.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

This is one wet T-shirt contest

I don't want to win.

I'll get a fire going.

Wow.

You're still freezing, huh?

Oh, thank you.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Hunter was prone to the bone chill, too,

if he wasn't wearing his long johns.

I made him wear two pairs

the day we got married.

Hmm. Well, you know,

special occasion and all.

We had a whole

spring wedding planned.

Daffodils were just coming up

and days were getting longer,

and a foot of snow the day before

we were supposed to get married

in my parents' backyard.

So Hunter says,

"Come on, Buttercup,

put your snowshoes on."

And we clamber up and...

say our vows

on top of Bald Mountain.

Hunt said the whole world

was wearing a wedding dress that day.

- Well, the man was a poet.

- Hmm.

I had been made redundant,

so I decided to wear magenta.

Yeah. Plus, you would have been

camouflaged, right?

"Hannah, do you take this man

to be your-- wait, Hannah?

Hannah, are you there?

I don't see you."

- Oh.

- Hmm.

Hannah? Are you there?

I can't see you.

Hannah, you all right?

Oh, hey, Curtis.

What are you, uh--

what's going on?

- Whole county's gone black.

- Huh. Right, well, great timing.

Looks like we're going to

have to ride this one out till morning.

God, you are wicked pretty

with your hair--

Jeezum crow, boss!

Who are you, if you don't mind

my barging in?

This is my friend

Andrew McCabe.

We were at college together.

He's just...

This is Curtis.

He provides light

for western Maine...

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

...and single-handedly keeps

the deer population under control.

- Well...

- Andrew:
Oh, yeah?

You make deer condoms, huh?

Kidding.

Speak of the devil.

Got some venison

from the deep-freeze.

Looks like I thawed out

a bit more than I could chew.

Curtis, that's sweet.

Here, let me take it from you.

Here. Thank you.

Okay. There we go.

I'll cook it up tonight.

Oh, you want to--

you want to stay?

Wha-- aw, no.

I-- I wouldn't want to interrupt

you and your old friend

catching up on whatever,

et cetera.

See, that's the good thing

about being a hunter, Andy,

is that even when

the gatherers are up a creek

because they realize

they haven't put away

enough nuts and seeds

to last the winter,

a hunter, he can find himself dinner

any day of the week

as long as he can sniff out

the right dung,

keep a steady shot.

Yeah.

Oh, boy, I hear you.

Loud and clear.

Couldn't agree more.

I don't think I'd get on in the city

without my Glock.

You know,

when things get really nasty

and I haven't been able to gather up

enough takeout menus,

I just head up to the park,

blow up a beaver.

See, I'd probably go

for the raccoon first.

- Oh, yeah? Why's that?

- More white meat.

Yeah, that's a good tip.

Appreciate that.

So, Curt, what do you do

for fun up here?

Is it too cold for ice cream?

That's all right, Hannie.

I, uh, ahem--

sure I'll be up licking

the crack of dawn tomorrow.

But it sure was nice meeting

your smart-ass buddy.

And I look forward

to our next rendezvous.

Hannah:

Okay.

- Oh, hey.

- Hmm?

Sometime we should, uh--

we should get dinner and a dump.

Mmm! It's very neighborly of you

to check in on me.

I will see you sometime, hmm?

Mm-hmm.

- Oh.

- What?

What? I didn't say anything!

What are you--

what are you talking about?

Aw, come on!

No, I-- what?

It's very rare for me to get to dine

with the executioned

and its executioner,

that's all I'm saying.

No, you don't know me well enough

to bust my chops.

- Here.

- What?

Here. Come on,

get over there,

unless you want to die of cold.

No. No, thank you.

Honestly, I think it's great.

No, seriously, though.

I think it's good.

I think it's a good thing for you

to be getting back on that horse.

And that guy-- oh, boy.

What a thoroughbred.

Hold on, young lady.

You might be falling in love again.

Good for you.

I've known him since high school

and he's awesome in bed,

and that's all he is.

Wow. Never had

any intention of, uh...

hearing you say those words.

There they are.

Hey-

- Shh!

- But seriously.

- What?

- If I freeze to death...

- Mm-hmm.

I just want you to know this has been

some of the weirdest sh*t

I've ever dealt with in my life.

You're welcome.

Good night.

Andrew:

No, it-- it's actually pretty nice out.

Well, it's Easter, so I assume we'll be

beheading the sacrificial lamb

before dinner, right?

Okay.

Wait, hold on one sec.

Look, you know, you really

don't have to do this.

Why don't you

just take the truck home

and there's a nice bottle of Macallan

under the kitchen sink.

No, no, no.

I'm solid as a rock.

And hungry.

This is going to be great.

- Great.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right?

Hey, hon, we're here,

so I should really get rolling.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

No, I'm curious what I can discover

from the rest of the flock.

Hello!

- Hi! Happy Easter!

- Hello!

Oh, hey!

Holy smokes.

- The gang's all here.

- My favorite sister!

- Hi.

- Hey, get in here.

Hey, you grew a beard, huh?

Incoming!

Oh, my God.

Where did you get that?

Fresh fruit!

Be still, my heart.

Yeah, I caught it, Mom,

in my World Wide Web.

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