Turks & Caicos

1

This programmes contains

some strong language

OK. Here we are.

What a great evening. Thank you.

If you want, I could come in,

pour you a drink.

Tell you the problem.

I'm not thirsty.

But I had a great time. Thank you.

Good night.

PHONE BEEPS:

DIALLING TONE:

'Yeah?' No luck.

'Why? What happened?'

I don't know why.

I have to try something else.

What's this?

It's lobster. I've never had it.

OK.

I don't think my mom

wants me to eat it.

Well, then leave it.

Yeah...

Good, huh?

Brave man!

CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

WOMAN:
Don't touch me!

No, I don't want to hear it.

Stay away from me, leave me alone!

DISTANT CONVERSATION

Would you like another beer?

No, thanks.

Incredible.

We have to go see your mum.

How is he?

He's fine. Did you get a job?

Only two kinds of job on the island,

hotel or bank.

Give rich people their lunch,

or give rich people their money.

Which?

Lunch.

How was your lobster?

Rubbery.

It was kind of you.

Forget it. I'd rather be with

Aldous than be on my own.

I enjoy his company.

You saved my bacon.

If I can return the favour.

Don't worry.

I'll think of something.

Bye, Aldous. Nice day.

Let's do it again.

Don't you have a car?

I left it in Cambridge.

Good night.

Hey! Hey! We know each other?

Who are you?

If you know me, you don't need

to ask. I know you, don't I?

No, I don't think so.

You're bluffing, aren't you?

I live nearby. Is that it?

I'd bet a lot of money

you and I have met.

I'm sorry. I wish I could help.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Yeah?

'I found your number.'

So that means you must know my name.

'Come and have a drink this evening.

'There are some people

I'd like you to meet.'

Are you still there?

'I'm still here.

'If you don't, you'll spend the

evening worrying, "What did I miss?"'

I don't worry. I never worry.

I'm at the Shelter,

you must know it.

PHONE RINGS:

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

'You have reached a machine.

'Please leave your message

and we'll get back to you.'

ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS

'You said to get in touch

if ever I was in trouble.'

Well, that's it. I'm in trouble.

Bell me.

PHONE BEEPS:

Morning.

TV:
'..closing price of $233...'

You're looking cheerful.

I just had a good workout.

You should try it.

I don't think the Prime Minister

wants to play squash with me.

He would if he met you. No.

My game's not good enough.

Do you ever win?

Almost never.

He'll play with anyone as long as

they give him a good game

and he can beat them.

That's Alec. What are you up to?

Nothing special.

Fishing for clients.

You?

Oh. Planning the future.

Anything urgent? Nothing. OK.

Tom, great you could make it.

Why wouldn't I?

Only problem with paradise,

nothing to do!

You must find it boring

after such an eventful life.

How do you know about my life?

Please,

don't insult my intelligence.

Keep cool, keep calm,

don't say too much, OK?

And now, introductions.

No. You go first.

Gary, Frank, Dido,

this is Tom Eliot.

He's English. British.

Well, we can spend the next hour

debating the difference.

In my book you're English.

Englishman!

LAUGHTER:

So now perhaps you'll tell me,

what's your name?

Who is this guy? Are you serious?

He comes for a drink,

he doesn't know who you are?

I'm Curtis Pelissier.

Of course you are.

I'm the host. Gary, remember,

I can ask who I want.

I fall in love too easily

I fall in love too fast...

At the end of the day, go private,

because you want to know something?

It works out cheaper.

Across the Atlantic, say.

By the time you buy tickets for your

kids and the nanny and the wife...

Oh, Christ, just pay the 50

and travel in comfort.

You don't have to listen to other

people. That's worth 50,000!

Dido, you're crazy. You've lost

all sense of what's going on.

Oh, have I? I don't notice you

piling into Jet Blue.

You know,

people have this contempt for money

because nowadays nobody's allowed

to say what everyone knows

that money is the best way

of keeping score...

Dido, you're full of sh*t.

I'm not full of sh*t.

I'm telling you...

I don't think we've met.

No, you're right. Hello.

Welcome. Thank you.

How do you know Curtis?

Erm...

I don't.

Then why did he invite you?

Interesting, I've been

asking that myself.

I take it you're a friend of his?

I'm a friend of everyone here.

So, who are they exactly?

Entrepreneurs.

They run a company called Gladstone.

You must have heard of it.

Gladstone? Have I? What do you do?

Are you asking me?

Er...yeah, I just asked.

I'm a financial PR. Meaning?

Well, if you haven't heard

of Gladstone, then that's my fault.

Once upon a time, back in the old

days, it would take

a whole lifetime to destroy

the reputation of

a politician or a banker -

but now, as we know,

someone just hits send

and it can happen overnight.

And usually does.

So it's my job to keep

the company's good name.

Does Gladstone have a good name?

Good enough.

Tom Eliot.

Melanie Fall.

It's a classier idea.

It's about exclusivity.

It's about grabbing the moment.

So, Tom, what do you think?

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening...

Clearly. Frank was saying...

I was just saying,

we're in business, you know,

so we want to make something

that's popular.

But we also want it to be exclusive.

That's a paradox,

that's a challenge.

It's what Stirling always says...

Stirling?

Stirling Rogers.

Rogers is a friend of yours?

He's an associate.

Stirling says, by definition,

exclusivity means for the few.

So if we just catered for the few,

we don't make any money.

Example. This is a nice hotel.

But you build 200 of

them, all of a sudden

people say it's not so nice

any more.

So, how do you solve this dilemma?

How do you solve it, Tom?

I'm not the man to ask. I'm retired.

What business were you in,

Mr Eliot?

I was a civil servant.

Where? In London.

Which ministry?

Agriculture and Fisheries. I know

a lot about cod. Salmon quotas.

That sort of thing.

Answer me this -

how can you afford to live here?

The answer is, I can't.

They probably gave him

one of those socialised pensions.

Lives off it for life.

It's modest, actually.

The rest of us poor bastards,

we worked every minute on the clock,

turns out we were in the wrong game.

Dido, calm down.

Big mistake,

should have lived off other people

like a socialistic, left-wing dick.

This guy can live on the islands,

because he has got

gold-plated security.

While we were out there,

we were taking risks.

Tell you what happens to

people who take risks,

they get screwed by people who never

took a f***ing risk in their lives.

That's the way it is. There are

a few people who lead. Who innovate.

And then there's the rest.

I'm sorry.

There's no need to apologise,

really.

Dido is a difficult man

going through a difficult time.

What sort of time?

The recession.

Oh, the recession, I see.

No recession and he would have been

pleasanter, would he?

I'd say, throw in Asperger's,

and it's a dangerous mix.

Be-definitely.

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