Twentieth Century Page #6

- I don't care what you do.

I want to tip you off to something.

Is it all right to talk in front of...

You can get right out now,

that' s what you can do.

I happen to be calling on Miss Garland.

I want you to listen.

Oscar's broke.

They're going to take his theater away.

That' s kind of interesting.

They've got him across a barrel.

I'm afraid he's going to do the Dutch act.

Still jumping out of windows?

Old fainting Bertha.

Don't laugh at him, Lily. If you don't

come across for him, it' s curtains for him.

You're his only chance.

I would rather drop dead where I'm standing

than ever do another play with him.

- It might be a smart bet for you.

- What?

You go back and tell that fake Svengali

I wouldn't wipe my feet on him...

- if he were starving, and I hope he is.

- That' s no way for you to talk. He made you.

He what? Get out of here.

- You've said enough.

- I thought you were a bigger woman, Lily...

- but I see I was deeply mistaken.

- Get out. Right outside.

Well, we asked her.

Let' s tell the earth-shaker.

I thought I told you he fired me

for the last time, and I meant it.

Come in.

Are you down, O.J.?

And almost out.

What was the name of the minnesinger

who cracked about:

"It' s always darkest before the dawn?"

I don't know, Owen, but he was an ass.

Did you ever hear of a female

entitled Lily Garland?

Don't be humorous, Owen.

O.J., suppose, just hypothetically,

of course, that you, Mr. Bromo...

could get together again with Miss Seltzer.

I wouldn't take that woman back if she and I

were the last people in the world...

and the future of the human race

depended on it.

Besides, she's 2,000 miles away.

No, she ain't. She's right on this train.

- O'Malley, you're a liar.

- Okay, but she's right in there.

- I wonder if she's doing this deliberately.

- I shouldn't think so offhand.

- Owen, it' s a miracle.

- What?

She made the first move being here.

I'll meet her halfway.

I'll make the supreme gesture.

You mean you're going to let Lily

work for you again?

How did you guess that?

I'm going to forgive her.

As a matter of fact, sire,

we've already broached the subject to her.

What did she say? Tell me everything.

You know her. She screamed like a fishwife.

That' s a good sign. She blew up?

That shows the battery isn't dead.

Did you give her any false idea

about her being necessary to me?

- Not a word.

- Are you sure?

We just talked

some good horse sense to her.

- That' s fine. Where's Oliver?

- You fired him.

He's taking advantage of that, is he?

There are only two musketeers left.

Very well, we'll work all the harder.

I want you to send a wire to Maurice,

the florist in Toledo...

and tell him to send every gardenia he has

in the shop to Drawing Room...

- What' s the initial?

- "B" as in "bughouse."

Drawing Room B, this car.

There's a message

I want to go with those gardenias.

Take your pencil out, I'll give it to you.

To my little Madonna of the snows.

No, wait a minute.

We won't use that this time.

Put that down, Owen, it' s very distracting.

I've got it.

From the grave of someone

you loved yesterday.

- How's that?

- A little on the sad side, isn't it?

It' s perfect. Wish I could get playwrights

to write like that.

Can I have a little sip now, O.J.?

So Oliver thought I was through, did he?

It had all the earmarks of a crisis.

That' s when I'm at my best,

with my back against the wall...

disaster staring me in the face.

Joan of Arc, The Bride of Bagdad,

Desert Love.

No money, no credit.

My theater, everything gone.

Everything but the name of Jaffe.

They got me down.

But I'm like a prizefighter who gets up at

the count of nine, staggers for a moment...

and then leads with the fury

of a wounded lion.

You've seen me in action before.

I don't have to tell you.

It' s been my privilege several times, sire.

I'm going into action now.

Now don't interrupt us,

no matter what happens.

Darling, remember that we love each other.

- Who is that?

- Who?

That fellow kissing her.

This is the final irony.

Mousing around with boys...

after Oscar Jaffe.

I always knew she'd head for the gutter.

I can't stand it.

My heart' s breaking. Conductor!

Where's the conductor? Conductor!

Come here, you.

Who is that man with Lily?

- Who is he? What' s his name?

- I don't know.

Yes, you do, you Mata Hari.

- Is he going to New York with her?

- Is that my fault?

- Mr. Jaffe.

- Did you hear that?

There's a law in this country

about riding on trains.

- I call on you to invoke it.

- What?

Stop the train. I want that man

in Drawing Room B thrown off.

- Nobody can stop this train.

- Oscar Jaffe's telling you to stop this train.

Oscar Jaffe or no Oscar Jaffe.

Fires, floods, or blizzards...

this is the 20th Century

and we get to New York on time.

Now if you'll just go in and relax,

you'll feel much better, I'm sure.

Kissing her.

Come back here, you. Hold him, Flannagan.

That' s not necessary, gentlemen.

I'm harmless.

I'm a well-known businessman, Conductor.

Here, that' s my line:

Sunshine Fruit Tablets. I'm President.

I'll pay for anything I've done.

I'm so ashamed of myself, I can hardly talk.

What' s the idea of running around

pasting those stickers?

- Did I put up many of them?

- Why, the place is plastered with them.

Oh, dear.

- Is your name Mathew J. Clark?

- Yes, sir.

Got a wire here concerning you.

- Is it from my nephew?

- It' s signed Harold Clark.

Thas he. Does it convey the fact that

I'm a little crazy but perfectly harmless...

and that he will meet me in Cleveland?

That' s right.

It also says that you're in the habit

of passing out phony checks...

for large amounts

and not to accept any of them.

You nearly caused a panic among

the passengers. "The time is at hand."

They got to worrying

about a wreck or something.

That' s terrible. Don't tell my nephew.

- What did you do it for?

- I don't know.

It' s a sort of spiritual call.

But I'm entirely normal now,

and if you'll allow me to go to my room...

I give you my word of honor

not to cause you any more trouble.

- How are you feeling?

- Fine.

Entirely over it. It' s quite gone now.

Here, let me pay you for the trouble.

No, we don't want your money,

but I'm sorry you've got this disease.

Thank you very much.

Let me give you the rest of the stickers.

This whole thing is so humiliating to me.

I just hope we can keep it

out of the newspapers.

I'll take care of that. Remember, boys,

not a word about this to anybody.

If you'll just go to your drawing room

and rest...

I'm sure you'll be well taken care of.

The reason I'm taking you back

is on account of your wife.

I see.

No need to have the innocent

suffer with the guilty.

I have to change my plan of campaign.

The first thing to do

is to get rid of the lover, eliminate him.

Now get out your pencil.

We're going to draw up a contract

between Oscar Jaffe and Lily Garland.

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