Twins Page #15

Vince listens to this earnest declaration and tries to

keep a straight face. Suddenly the truth dawns on him.

VINCE:

Now correct me if I'm wrong.

You're a virgin, aren't you?

JULIUS:

That's private.

(CONTINUED)

TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88 57.

68 CONTINUED:
68

Vince clocks Julius's reaction as he removes an eviction

notice from his front door.

VINCE:

(to himself)

He's a 230-pound virgin. *

69 INT. VINCE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 69

It's a small one-bedroom decorated primarily with garden

furniture. As they come inside, Vince is confronted by

a reproachfully MEOWING CAT.

VINCE:

(to cat)

Alright! Alright! I got your

food. Yes! 'Liver and Cheese,'

'Chicken Giblets,' all your

favorites, Julius.

JULIUS:

You named your cat, Julius?

Vince freezes, realizing the implications.

A70 INT. VINCE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT A70

Vince is seasoning some containers of take-out food and

popping them in the microwave, while Julius strokes the

cat who shares his name.

VINCE:

The secret to take-out veal

Parmesan is adding a little extra

cheese. I know you're probably

used to growing your own vegetables

and spearing fish in the lagoon,

but here on the mainland we just

nuke it!

The microwave ALARM sounds, and it pops open.

VINCE:

Dinner is served!

70 INT. VINCE'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT 70

As Vince and Julius prepare to eat, they both turn their

plates counter-clockwise, then dab their lips with their

napkins. They both reach for the salt at the same moment.

(CONTINUED)

TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88 58.

70 CONTINUED:
70

They both freeze and stare at each other for a long beat.

Julius smiles and we --

CUT TO:

71 EXT. AIRPORT GARAGE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 71

72 INT. AIRPORT GARAGE - NIGHT 72

A man, pushing forty, appears, taking a keychain with a

caddy fob on it from his pocket. This is WEBSTER.

Dressed in businessman's clothing, he looks odd -- but not

necessarily frightening. He walks to the spot where the

car was.

CUT TO:

PARKING SPOT:

It's definitely empty.

CUT TO:

WEBSTER:

He looks at the Cadillac key. Clearly, he is not happy at

the turn of events.

CUT BACK TO:

73 INT. VINCE'S DINING ROOM - LATER 73

They've finished eating.

VINCE:

(expansive)

So, let me get this right. One of *

our fathers was a famous football

player, another one was a physicist

at M.I.T. --

JULIUS:

He won the Nobel Prize.

Vince, playing along, rolls his eyes.

(CONTINUED)

TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88 59.

73 CONTINUED:
73

VINCE:

Naturally... so all of our dads

were these big shots and Mom was,

like, Superwoman, but she didn't

survive our delivery. I got sent

to an orphanage while you were

brought up in a tropical paradise

by this scientist you do research

for, but who doesn't actually pay

you because you don't need money.

(a beat)

Did I leave anything out?

Julius ignores Vince's cynicism.

JULIUS:

I think it's important we try to

find our fathers.

VINCE:

You mean, all those geniuses who

contributed to the...

(making a jerk-off

gesture)

... Sperm milkshake? *

JULIUS:

Why are you being so immature

about this? *

Vince throws down his napkin.

VINCE:

Do you know how many times I've

heard stories like this? It's

every orphan's fantasy: 'My real

Mom and Dad were rich and

beautiful, but there was a mix-up

at the hospital and I got switched

with another baby... But one day

there's going to be a knock at the

door and there they'll be with

open arms, crying... "My darling!

My treasure! We didn't know! How

can we make it up to you?"'

(a beat)

I'm telling you this for your own

good, Julius. It's a crock.

Vince goes over to a trunk, rummages in it, comes up with

a dusty mouldering folder from which he removes a yellow-

ing piece of paper.

(CONTINUED)

TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88 60.

73 CONTINUED:
(2) 73

VINCE:

I liberated this from my file at

the orphanage. Read it and weep.

Julius takes the paper and reads aloud.

JULIUS:

Dear Sister Anderson, your request

for orphans benefits for Vincent

Benedict has been denied.

According to our files his mother

did not die during birth. We have

a current address for her at 172

Canyon Glen Drive, Los Angeles.

Vincent's case seems to be one of

simple abandonment and as such he

is inelligible for aid.

Vince snatches the paper back. Julius stares at him,

just stunned.

VINCE:

That's right, Julius, she abandoned

me.

JULIUS:

This letter was written thirty *

years ago. We were five years old *

-- Our mother... didn't die when

we were born...

(staring at Vince

now)

You've known all this time where

she was and you never contacted

her?

VINCE:

(angry)

I don't know about your momma,

Miss Perfect of 1952, but my momma

was a slut, and if she's still

alive, I hope she's in a lot of

pain. She dumped me once -- no

way she gonna get a chance to do

it again --

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