Two-Lane Blacktop Page #2

and they honk.

But I keep my cool.

I don't get into it with 'em. They get hysterical.

They're just a bunch of small-town car freaks.

That's all they are.

But I tell you one thing, mister.

They'll run right over you

if they get the chance.

That's homemade stuff.

They can't stand up to a 455. No way.

Sh*t. I'd run off and leave them

in 20 minutes.

J ust color me gone, baby!

Why can't I ever sit up front?

What is this, anyway,

some kind of masculine power trip?

I'm shoved back here

with these goddamn tools.

Screwdrivers and wrenches

don't make it for me, you know.

We oughta get some action soon.

We'll need bread to do a little work

on the carburetors and check out the rear end.

I don't see anybody

paying attention to my rear end.

Listen. I've gotta take a leak.

Honest.

You gotta stop this car.

Put her flat out for a while.

- Good morning.

- Fill it up.

- May I check the oil, sir?

- Yes, you may.

- Good morning.

- Mornin'. We need a tank of-

It's not in there.

Can I check the oil, sir?

No, he'll get that.

I don't like being crowded by a couple

of punk road hogs clear across two states.

I don't.

I don't believe I've ever seen you.

Course, there's lots of cars

on the road like yours.

They all get to look the same.

They perform about the same.

If I wanted to bother,

I could suck you right up my tailpipe.

Sure you could.

14.9- $ 5.00.

Thank you, sir.

And you come back.

# Well, a truckload of art #

#From New York City #

Hear those cicadas?

Yeah.

You talk about survival.

Man, those are some freaky bugs.

They spend, uh - They come out

of the ground every seven years.

They live underground

the rest of the time...

and the only time they come out of the ground

is to crawl out of their skins and grow some ring -

grow some wings so they can f***.

And then they die.

But before they die, they manage

to lay some more eggs so that these bugs -

We've got a better life,

haven't we?

- We make them look sick.

- Oh, boy, I'll say.

Well, don't get any splinters.

You bore me.

These are groovy records.

Play one.

- You travelin' with those guys?

- Yeah.

Say, where'd you get

such a far-out car?

Vegas.

I won it shootin' craps.

Thought I'd drive to New York

and spend some money.

I don't care.

I'm just gonna hang loose.

#Busted flat in Baton Rouge #

How fast'll that car go?

- Oh, I don't know.

Pretty fast.

I can take 'im.

I know I can take that antique.

# Took us all the way

to New Orleans #

#I took my harpoon out #

# Of my dirty red bandana #

# Was blowin'sad

while Bobby sang the blues #

# With them windshield wipers

slappin' time #

#And Bobby clappin'hands #

# We finally sang up every song

that driver knew #

How you doin'?

- #Freedom's just another word #

- Fine.

- #For nothin'left to lose #

- Better.

I think we got us a squirrel to run.

#Nothin'ain't worth nothin'

but it's free #

#Feeling good was easy, Lord #

# When Bobby sang the blues #

#Feeling good

was good enough for me #

# Good enough

for me and Bobby McGee #

- You got nothin' in that engine but a bunch of-

- We'll race.

Sure, we'll race.

You're damn right we'll race.

For pinks.

Pink slips?

You mean, for cars?

You wanna race for the whole shot?

That's right.

All the rolling stock.

- Where to?

- You name it.

I n that case, smart-ass,

Washington, D.C.

Right.

Washington, D.C.

Washington, D.C.

J ust a second, man.

No, you're on.

You're definitely on.

- I was going there anyway.

- Show him how to do it.

We put the pinks in an envelope,

send 'em to D.C., general delivery.

First one there waits for his car.

I'll do that. I've done it before.

- How much do we owe you?

- 8.15.

Thank you.

You all come back.

We stay on the country roads.

Less heat that way.

Never say you're racing,

or they'll bust you for it.

No way, baby.

They ain't gonna see me.

The sun is still soft, but not for long.

#First, foremost, factual #

First, Foremost

and Factual News, presented by-

- Turn that sh*t off.

- What?

- Turn it off! It gets in the way!

We had some good sleep last night.

Leastways I did.

We could be eating better

for a long race.

All that sweet stuff and Coke

get to you come night.

- How are your eyes?

- Good. It all feels good.

I figure we can go straight through.

Three or four stops for gas. Eat light.

It's best to keep a hunger on.

- I'll relieve you in six hours.

- I feel good. I can take it all the way.

Okay.

There's a little muscle

jumping around in your neck.

I like it that way.

It's gonna rain.

He'd better find himself a relief driver,

or he's in trouble.

Unless he has some uppers.

-# Well, as I was motivatin' over the hill #

# Seen Maybelline in a Coupe de Ville #

# Cadillac a-rollin' on the open road

Nothin' outrun my V-8 Ford #

# Cadillac doin' up to 95

Bumper to bumper, rollin' side by side #

# Maybelline

Why can't you be true #

# Yeah, Maybelline

Why can't you be true #

# Well, you done started back

doing those things that you used to do #

- It's a real pretty car.

My cousin used to have one of these.

Tore up the road with it.

It's a test car.

I'm driving a test now,

as a matter of fact.

Racing a Chevy cross country.

Detroit set it up.

If I win, it could mean millions

for the organization.

- How far you goin'?

- Oklahoma City.

- You ever been there?

- No, I never been there.

Do you mind if I stretch out,

make myself comfortable?

No. Go right ahead.

# Well, the motor cooled down

the heat went down #

# That's when I heard

that highway sound #

# Cadillac looked like

it was standin' still #

# Well, I caught Maybelline

at the top of the hill #

# Cadillac looked like a hunk of lead #

# Well, 110, half a mile ahead #

# Maybelline

Why can't you be true #

# Maybelline, why can't you be true #

# You done started back #

# Doin' the things you used to do #

I'm not into that!

I just thought it might

relax you while you drive.

This is competition, man.

I got no time.

Hey! Hey, sweetheart!

Come on!

Yeah, well, we gotta get on it.

Don't go!

You son of a b*tch.

You would've left me, wouldn't you?

- Okay, get your ass outta here.

- It's raining. You can't let me out here.

Out. I told you

to keep your claws off of me.

Oh, come on.

How was I supposed to know?

We can still be friends, can't we?

Out.

I ain't movin'!

- First town we come to, you're out.

I got no time for sidetracks.

I'm gonna change the jets

on the carburetor.

Get me a cheeseburger

with everything on it and a Coke.

Step back over here for me.

Howdy. Can I help you?

Yeah.

This man's dangerous, Officer.

He passed us on the right

a couple of miles back.

- I swear he was going about 90.

- Step back over here for a minute.

Howdy.

Did he pass you in the ditch?

That's right. He was weaving all over the road.

Scared my wife about half to death.

He must be on something. Say, do you

need me as a witness or anything like that?

No, sir.

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