Two Can Play That Game Page #2

You got the look in your eyes.

Yeah, but I will say this.

Mm-hm.

There's nothing you can ever say to

make me leave that woman of mine.

She do got a fat ass.

Did you smack it?

Conny Spalding.

Vice president of marketing

and a bona fide ho. Hey, Conny!

Hey, how you been?

Fine. Where you headed?

To see your man. Is he there?

He's there.

Let me go holler at that Negro.

Okay. Bye, sweetie.

B*tch.

Every girl's got a bit of ho in them,

but Conny's different.

She's a do-whatever-it-takes-

to-get-your-man

kind of ho.

I don't know how she got that job.

But after she got hired, her boss

got a divorce. You make the call.

I'm here to see Keith.

Why am I not afraid of her

hanging around him?

I trust him.

I'll see him for dinner. He knows

what he's got. That's my man.

Oh, did I mention

how accomplished he is?

Gotta love that man.

Ooh.

Time to see Tracye. It's spring.

She'll be fighting with her man.

Who are you messing with?

I won't get mad or yell.

Just tell me who you're messing with.

Because I know you

messing with somebody.

So who's the b*tch

that you messing with?

What are you talking about?

I only mess with you.

You's a liar.

I ain't lying.

You's a liar.

Because you smelled some perfume

on me the other day?

I hugged my mother.

Her perfume must've got on me.

I know you're lying, Dwain.

I know because I found these

drawers underneath the couch!

So who do they belong to?

They damn sure ain't mine.

That's right.

Sit down and think up a good lie.

I wanna see how you'll

get out of this one.

If you're not sure your man

is cheating, this is what you do.

Plant underwear at his house.

Too big or too small,

so it's clear they're not yours.

Pull them out in front of him

and see what he has to say.

Tracye, that's your problem.

You're too jealous.

Who do the underwear belong to?!

I'll tell you.

Go ahead and tell me!

Relax, okay?

The underwear belong to

my sister.

Your sister.

Her machine broke.

She came to wash her clothes

and left them over here.

Matter of fact, she called me

about them. Let me see.

With the glitter. That's them.

That's them? You sure?

Yeah.

What?

Liar! I'm sick of your lying ass!

You ain't nothing but a liar!

Damn, they're loud.

Good Lord.

Why must black people cause ruckus

in a white man's building?

I hate that I had to say that.

But admit it, minorities do seem

to get louder than white folks.

- Stupid-ass motherf***er!

- Stop yelling! Sh*t!

People are outside.

I'm so sick of your lying ass!

How you gonna talk about

your sister...

Trace?

Where you been today?

- Tracye?

What's up, Dwain?

Stop. I ain't playing with you.

I ain't playing either!

B*tch. Excuse us.

Get ahold of that. Relax.

Let me ask you.

Why do men let women come over

their house and break sh*t?

That don't make sense.

When you do your dirt,

go over her house

so when she gets mad,

she can bust up all of her sh*t.

That's it. I'm through with you.

It's over. I'm going home.

Let's go.

I'm sick of you anyway.

I'm sick of you!

Just get out.

Don't you tell me what to do.

Where you going? Get back in here.

Son of a b*tch!

Tracye?

My mother bought me that vase.

I'll catch you later. Okay?

I'm coming.

I just got some sh*t I got to handle.

Now we can go.

No, you gonna pay for that.

I ain't paying for sh*t.

I bet you'll pay for that.

I won't.

Lord have mercy.

- You're gonna pay.

I ain't paying.

I'll take the jacket.

Give it back.

You gonna take it? Stop.

Before a man cheats on you,

there are signs.

I was working late.

What's wrong with a brother

buying some new underwear?

I mean, yeah,

I wear Fruit of the Looms,

but I wanna try Calvin Kleins.

I was working late.

My ring?

It's right here.

It was itching my finger.

I was working late.

I know I ain't worked out in years.

But I'm trying to get back

into shape for you.

The number 1 excuse

of a cheater is:

I was working late.

That's right.

"I was working late."

- There you go.

- Ready to go, Shant?

I can't. I gotta do dinner

with Keith.

Oh, Keith.

Oh, Keith.

Don't hate.

I'm not.

Let's go. A sister trying

to get something to eat.

You can't have a drink?

No, I'm hungry.

My man and my food.

Either one, I have to cut you.

That's ghetto.

Yes, honey.

Ghetto fabulous and proud.

Ooh.

I heard about you redecorating

Dwain's apartment.

Yes, with a baseball bat.

Jacked all his sh*t up.

That's what he get for lying.

At least he got a job.

He better than my sorry-ass man.

Know what I don't understand?

How a man can have a mouthful

of gold teeth and be broke.

I don't get that sh*t.

Grill just loaded. A grand.

Michael has great teeth.

He should for what they cost you.

Don't start.

They did set you back a bit.

I don't know what you saw in him.

Get out of here!

That's what she saw.

That'll do it every time.

And was sprung. Okay? Sprung.

The brother knows how

to handle his business.

That's important.

I can testify to that.

I'll tell you, Tyrone may be broke,

and have a mouthful of gold,

but he's a pipe-laying fool.

My baby can lay the pipe.

Oh! Oh!

Shant, what about Keith

with his fine self?

He's a professional man too.

Yummy.

A lawyer.

Treats her like a queen.

Baby got big feet.

I'm sorry for noticing his feet.

He can hang a suit too.

Go ahead, Diedre.

There she go.

Get the phone. That's my baby.

Hello?

Shake that ass.

Shant?

That was Keith.

He said he can't do dinner.

He's working late. Work it out.

He's working late?

I don't know why

we had to come here.

Shant likes to clear

her head here.

How do you know everything

she says is true?

Because nobody knows more

about men than Shant.

She's right.

Sorry, ladies.

Tell Miss Thing who has

the 411 on the fellas?

I don't wanna toot my own horn,

but beep.

She didn't say yes.

She didn't say no.

Will you two quit it?

When I have a problem,

I call Shant. She keeps it real.

Ladies, can I get some

on keeping it real?

Keeping it real!

Shant.

Isn't that Keith on the dance floor?

I thought you said

he's working late.

Damn, girl.

What you gonna do?

Go over and say hey.

I'll be right back.

Hey?

Lying, no-good son of a b*tch!

I can't believe he lied to me.

What kind of bull is that?

No, she'll handle business.

Get it together, Shant.

Get it together. Get it together.

Okay, this is where the rules begin.

If you find yourself

in a situation like this:

Never panic.

Stay cool.

Act like it doesn't bother

you one bit

and address the issue head-on.

Hey, Keith. I thought that was you.

What's up?

Shant, look, this is...

I'm Shant. I'm sorry.

Is that DKNY?

Yes, it sure is.

Girl, cute outfit.

Nice to see you, Keith.

Talk to you soon.

She was nice. Who's she?

Don't cause a scene. Don't go off.

Less is always best. Right now

he doesn't know what to think.

Let's get our stuff

and go.

We haven't eaten yet.

The food's not good.

What did you say? He's leaving.

I said hey.

Why do men do that sh*t?

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