Two for the Seesaw

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(melancholy trumpet solo)

(flamenco guitar,

bongo drums, laughter)

(hum of conversation)

- Hey! Jerry Ryan, glad you could make it.

- Good to see you, Oscar.

Of all the people

I never expected to hear from!

After a month, I got a sudden urge

to see a familiar face.

- I see you're still painting.

- I'm painting, all right.

Jerry, think what could've happened

to my talent if I'd stayed in Nebraska!

New York saved my life.

I paint with my guts now!

- I got a whole new...

- (woman) Oscar!

Kindly look at the spaghetti,

it's gonna stick!

Who cares! Come here.

Sophie, meet Jerry Ryan,

from back home.

An artist for ya - "Who cares?"!

Pleased to meet you, Jerry.

Influence him to look at the spaghetti.

- Sure. Oscar, I'll be fine.

- I'll be right back.

Fix yourself a drink. Mingle a little.

Is the purpose of art to communicate?

Yes or no?

Pardon me. I beg your pardon.

The way you ask is typical of

your attitude. Dogmatic. Conformist.

...making compromises.

You saw my improvisation.

Was the motivation absolutely clear?

Well, truthfully, I did feel

a certain dichotomy.

Your motivation

and the motivation of the...

(general chatter)

(song:
"Gitana")

(woman) Think you're Rockefeller,

you eat out all the time?

A nice little icebox'll save you a fortune.

I'm trying to do you a favour. Why so

suspicious? With five bucks I'll get rich!

I'll be five bucks less rich, won't I?

What's a cottage cheese salad?

At least a buck, right?

Buy a carton, twenty cents,

put it in the icebox and you're in business.

Change your mind,

gimme a ring, I'm in the book.

Gittel Mosca. M-O-S-C-A, Mosca!

You got a light?

Don the hat, nobody'll know

you're at the wrong party!

Hecky, I've a story saved up for you.

Punchline even.

(Gittel laughs)

You dirty...

(phone rings)

Yeah, hello?

Hell!

Uh!

You slob. Slob. Slob.

(phone)

- Yeah, hello?

- Miss Gittel Mosca?

- It's me, who's this?

- Jerry Ryan. We met at Oscar's party.

- Yeah?

- I lit your cigarette?

You thought I was at the wrong party.

The one with the hat, didn't say anything.

- You must know some talkative hats!

- Huh?

About that icebox you were trying to sell.

Can I stop by and look at it?

Oh, I gave it away to some jerk

Sophie sent over.

I just let him have it.

Why didn't you ask yesterday?

It was too big a move.

Today I decided to change, join the living.

About ten minutes ago.

- Thought I'd start by dropping in on you.

- I haven't got it.

All the same, I thought I'd drop in and...

(sighs) Yeah, well, thanks anyway.

Hell.

(phone)

Just a minute, I'm boiling over!

Milk all over the lousy stove!

Yeah, hello? Hello?

Hey, anybody on this line?

- No.

- Huh?

Hey!

- Hello?

- Sophie, is Oscar there?

Yeah.

That hat-type friend of his,

what's his number?

You got ants in your pants?

Drag your mind up outta your girdle,

see if Oscar's written it down.

Didn't realise you were so delicate.

Wait a minute.

Gittel, it's Circle 5-9970.

You got that?

- 9-9-7-0, yeah.

- Don't be an ingrate, give a thank you.

Very funny, I'll give you a commission.

(phone)

- Yes?

- I've been thinking about that icebox.

I could take you

and you could offer him a buck.

He might let it go.

He got it for nothing.

- Hey, you still with me?

- I don't know yet.

- How'd you get my number?

- Sophie. Oscar had it.

- The icebox, what do you think?

- I don't think you're calling about that.

- Huh?

- You've nothing better to do.

I've eleven different things

I could be doing!

Different isn't better.

Why aren't you doing them?

How'd I get in the wrong?

Did you call about the icebox or not?

- Not.

- Well, I can't follow this. You called.

I called because I was going

out of my head in solitary.

I called to make contact with someone

of the weaker sex, who's weaker.

OK, here I am. Contact.

I called to ask you to dinner tonight.

And a show, if you like.

- Well, why didn't ya?

- I was afraid you'd say yes or no.

- I would have said "Sure"!

- Right away we have problems.

- What show? Where to eat?

- Wait! Now I'm not so sure.

I don't know if I want to get involved.

You sound complicated.

- Oh.

- I'm the girl, right? And you're the man.

Make up your mind, ask me,

and I'll make up mine.

- Been trying for a month.

- To ask me to dinner?

No, to get unstuck

from a piece of flypaper.

After you've broken your leg in five places

you hesitate to make that first step.

Reason I hung up on you was because

I didn't want to say, "Please, help me".

Look, I've a date with some kids.

It'll keep me busy till maybe 6.30pm.

Meet where we're gonna eat, say 6.45pm?

- Say, 6.45pm.

- You like to eat Chinese?

- Yeah.

- There's a place, The Peacock,

on 4th Street, near Sheridan Square.

It's in the book. Cantonese.

- Is it OK enough to?

- Is what OK enough to?

- Your leg?

- It may have affected my head!

But I'll meet you, The Peacock,

Cantonese, 6.45pm, OK?

OK.

- I'm late.

- Yeah, I know.

- Next time I'll make sarcastic remarks.

- We're on next time already!

Kinda fast, so we can make a show.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Plain rice. You like fried?

- No.

- Plain rice and tea. Two.

- Yes, ma'am.

- I'd like coffee now.

Yes, sir.

So... you're an out-of-town type, huh?

- Nebraska.

- Nebraska?

- Is that in California?

- No, that's Nevada you're thinking about

- that's in California.

- What have you been doing in New York?

Mostly walking, by day and by night.

- Monotonous but healthy.

- When do you sleep?

No time. Who were the kids

that kept you busy till 6.30?

Huh? Oh, a dance group.

They thought maybe

I'd have an idea for costumes.

- Did you?

- Sure, success, I got the job.

I loaned the choreographer 75 cents

but I'll make a few bucks

on the costumes.

- It's your livelihood?

- A little of this and that.

The rest, unemployment insurance.

So, what do you do?

What did you do in Nebraska?

- I was an attorney.

- Oh.

- You gonna practice law here?

- I've no plans yet, been too busy walking.

- Everything fine?

- Thank you.

Try one, it's from heaven.

No! Dip in the bug juice.

Gittel? Sounds exotic.

- What is it? Italian? Eskimo?

- Jewish!

- Mosca?

- That's exotic.

My stage name.

My real one's too long. Moskowitz.

- You act?

- Dance.

- Given it up?

- Given it up? It's what I am!

God, I studied with Jos for years.

- Jos who?

- You kidding? Lemien. The best!

- It's important to you?

- If not, I wasted a lot of 7.50s a week!

So...

What's it like in Nebraska?

I've never been out of New York.

From the Bronx to Manhattan to Brooklyn,

this is your life, Gittel Mosca.

I was going to Florida once,

I had the money even. Miami.

I got married,

he went to Florida, I got divorced...

- You too?

- You married?

My wife's divorcing me back in Omaha.

- A lantsman.

- Huh?

A buddy from the same country.

How long did yours last?

- Twelve years.

- Big deal.

- She get a yen for another guy?

- No, a yen to see the end of me.

Look, do you really want to see a show?

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